The zuckerweb.ai knows what goes on in your deep subconscious

This is a pretty good ad.

BOSS: Are you sure you are testing in development?

DEVELOPER: Yeah, the changes are local

Lool 😂 😂...

Interview

HR: So .. tell us .. where do you see our AI acting in 5 years?

ME: Doing your job minus the stupid questions.

*silence*

Boss breaks out in laughter.
"Oh boy you're hired"

Ranters this week

This is my motivation.

Github after Microsoft purchase

Just noticed YouTube got inspired by porn video sites and now they are showing very short preview of video on thumbnail hover.

Nice but not that useful feature for non porn video site.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

I'm so excited!

My friend just made an awkward joke

Me: I couldn't get Postgres working on ubuntu

Friend: How bout installing GET-gres

Me: (awkward silence)

Made a playlist for my boss

age++;

if (condition) {
//code
}

if you place your brackets like this, you're an awesome individual. Let's be friends

I also finally get to do it😂

Professional googler.

When your code is a mess but still works

Your choice.

// repost \\
To all new devs:
• Your language of choice is fine.
• There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
• Your IDE is fine.
• Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

There are two kinds of developers in this world:
Those that finish the project they started, and

Programming fact....

They break your heart too 😭💔

When you just saw a random kid playing games you made

When frontend is ready before backend

alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

Don't tell them to run "rm -rf /" as root. That's too nice. There might be inodes left on the hard drive.

MAKE IT WORSE:

"cat /dev/zero > /dev/sda" as root.

LEAVE NOTHING.

Web devs daily day

When technology becomes naughty 🤣🤣