Showers

99% of my bugs are fixed whilst I'm in the shower

Honestly, I should just get a waterproof computer and write code in there

Meditation for the rest of us...

Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => little success
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => I think I've got it
Try => almost there
Try => fail
Try => fail
Try => oh, is that the problem?
Try => fail
.
.
.
=> SUCCESS

I fucking hate my manager.

Being honest in an interview:

- Can you work under pressure?
- I can, but I'd rather not.

Me: Goodnight!!

Brain: psst..

Me: What?

Brain: How can you just leave that piece of code behind? Unfinished?

Dear team,

Train people well enough so they can leave

Treat them well enough so they don't want to

Regards,
A member of dev team

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water

Lifehack of the day. Hope this works for ads too

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

Yoda speaks like he wasn't careful with his async calls

"a Jedi You are"

First time I won a hackathon!!

Do you people know that problem, where you sit down and code for 20 minutes, and suddenly it's 4 hours later?

:D :D :D

Marketing done right

the oscillation between the urge to do nothing and the urge to do everything

When the customer constantly changes his mind.

Boss: we need high precision volume control
Me: say no more...

Always

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Stages of Debugging..
I spent most of my time in self blame stage.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Give up.

Windows users need that button :P

I just wrote more than 140 char in a tweet, inspect the element and turn Enable = True on Tweet button.

The response was epic.

Just one bit off.

You know that feel

When you almost finished a cool project and then they said: we can put it on hold...

You know..