How to break a chatbot (well done).

Here's one to all the tabs you open up to "read later"

If you fail at management, start speaking on conferences about "agile"

After 3 days of code, i fanlly have my script for scribus. Life is easy now ! #PAO

In 2010, it was my first client project. Our architect was not from iOS background, we had editable pdfs in our app. Those were pretty rich pdfs with inline HD images. iPads that time were not too fast and couldn't handle big gb pdf loaded into memory. App would crash randomly running out of memory. We fixed it by paginating pdf, it wasn't out of the world but considering it was my first mobile project and no one to guide, I thought it was pretty cool what we did there

I don't really like python, but anyway..

My app does not need tests!

When your PM or boss says they used to program back in the day in FORTRAN and haven't done shit since.

Let's call my college colleague Andrew.

Andrew knows that we have a really tight deadline to complete 2 different assignments to deliver in the same weekend for evaluation.

Andrew says that we really knows about coding, although we doesn't understand the most basic principles about OOP (like encapsulation, for example).

Whenever I asked for help, Andrew said that is "going to do some research" and that what I'm asking is "really hard". He then asked every single other group if then could provide him, with some code so he could "understand" what I asked him to do.

Once they said "no" he would come and tell me he really tried but hadn't be able to do it, 2 days after needed it, delaying the whole project.

Don't be like Andrew.

Scrum Meeting
PM: What did you do yesterday?
Me: Tried to come up with a funny post on DevRant.
PM: Wait... So you didn't write any code?
Me: Oh yeah of course I did! I came up with algorithm that grabs the highest rated rants and compares them to determine the best time of day I should post said rant, to get the best possible amount of up votes.

Ever spend hours debugging and your coworker mutters "... It's probably XYZ" and they are right? 😵

+1 of you remember the "Homie don't right click" days

I was sitting in the University when a cute girl we know asked us If we have a Chewing Gum with mint flavour. We hadn't, but a friend of mine replied with 'I've got Linux Mint! In case you wanna try... "

Advanced silence or about 3 minutes after that...

The worst that can happen to a developer is good API with bad documentation

Happiness is when you hear your co-workers praising you while you're not in their sight 😃😃

When you've spent DAYS coding, testing, and perfecting a custom function...

... and the very next day IntelliSense shows you the built-in method that does exactly the same thing.

I had a manager who scolded me in me in public on a non-IT floor because I used child classes and overloading of methods which "is too hard to read". Instead use "lots of ifs and else's". This is the guy that had a JSP so large (be cause he had so many ifs) that it couldn't be compiled even on a server.

The best karma happened a few months later. I was looking for a new job (wonder why?) and was very deep in the interview process - like round 5- of company A. I got talking to this jackass, who had no idea I was interviewing, said "yeah I applied to company A once. Couldn't get past the first round. Great benefits, though.". Me getting the job a week later was the best thing ever.

I still can't get it why people looks at IT people as lowlife. If you need a new computer in your office I can get the right spec and help you to buy it. But moving the computer table is not my job 😠

So I've been dealing with one hell of a shit bag filled property management company since the numbnuts that lived next door to us set the building on fire (and didn't wake us up). The fire was pretty brutal, but it seems like this company wouldn't be satisfied without amplifying the misery. So I was wondering if anyone had created any kind of bot to auto post things to someone's social media accounts? I figured if they were going to be total dicks about things, the least I could do was try to help out with any of their search engine optimization efforts.

That moment when you as a junior developer is trying to write good, maintainable code and a more senior developer stops by and says "It's too late to start adding good code. I'll help you quick fix it".

When I was fresh out of school at my first job, we worked with an external consultant that refused to answer my emails directly since I was only a lite shit kid. Had to send all my emails thru my boss to get a reply.

sudo send me some stickers!

Our latest trainee is my worst "coworker". We have to hand him easier work everytime. Niw he's basically down to being less useful than clever regexps.

Me: change our include directives to inclde their Qt-module name
PR #1 comes back: doesnt compile: reject
PR2: first file I look at has not been touched: reject
PR3: doesnt compile
PR4: looks ok, needs rebase
PR5: doesnt compile

I mean: WTF. Am I really expecting too much? 😞

spent two weeks fixing a solution for designer who constantly changes his mind...
manager takes one look at it and says it's too complicated and proceeds to change it to something simple which completely ignores all of designers specifications...

designer no longer cares about his specifications...

I guess this means I shouldn't care about specifications...
yea right...

Sometimes 🤔

Was creating an interactive map through Google Maps API. The map wasn't displaying at all on the website. Spent 2 hours trying to fix. Just realized I've not given height to the map div :-/

Should programmers use google and Stack Overflow all the time?

Hey all. I'm a fresh college grad with a bachelor's in Software Engineering minor in math. I'm applying to countless jobs with little to no luck hearing back. Any tips from you all? Much appreciated!!

So happy to be making this last post

Funny article and perfect placement of undefined.