So I named my daughter "io"

everyone calls her by the name and then we register her on our local gov't to get birth certificate.

AND THEN THESE FUCKED FACED FUCKERS! dont accept my daughter's name because of this STUPID SYSTEM OF THEIRS!

because "io" is too short for first name field to accept. Its like the devs become the law and just set their own limit.

It pisses me off. our law didn't say `len(firstName) > 2` and we can't use paper anymore as alternative.

I really want to punch the fucker in neck. sorry

When someone's calls and completely loses his shit (swearing etc etc) because we HAVE TO FUCKING HELP HIM BECAUSE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE RELY ON THIS SITE WHICH IS DOWN.
Explained him calmly that its an unmanaged server which we literally don't have access to. Keeps on calling me all kinda things and then says he'll email some login details.

Bossman walks in, collegue goes like 'yo guess what just happened with linuxxx!'
Le me explains the story.

Bossman: email me his number. I'm going to call him. You treat my employees with fucking respect.

Best quotes from IT teacher:

- "C# is a language to program your IDE."
- "C# is a language for beginners, and is not really used in production."
- "We won't use Python to learn programming, because Python is a very old, slow and useless language, and is not really used anymore."
- "Yeah, your algorithm is fantastic, but you wrote 'The answer is: ' instead of 'Answer: ', so it's just a B."
- One of my classmates was bored and opened Notepad++, and when the teacher saw it, she said "I have been teaching programming for years, but I've never seen this program, what do you use it for?"

I feel so lucky that I have started learning programming years before at home, I just couldn't start if I had to learn this way.

My parents joining the Linux PC Master race!!!

Use git or get hit

Age++ !

fellow programmer: what did you write today?

Me:

Best chart ever.

Gotta love the CS students...

Loving the class name for this div on South West Trains 404 page.

This is not the kind of bug I was expecting...

Bitcoin price is down

Crypto Market is crashing

:(

So was first day at new job ... Boss takes me around meeting everyone. One employee stuck editing file by typing in new records data, calls boss for help.

Boss to me: "I like to get handsy with data from time to time. "
*me smiling, watch how he copies and paste the new records*
ME to boss:"why don't you just write the script to update all the records?"
Boss:"I don't trust the automation of input. "
Me:" what about human error?"
*crowd of other employees gather around awaiting answer*
Boss:"we include margin of errors in our disclaimer to the client... "
*He hears himself*
Boss:"... and we bill by the hour why would we work faster for less money?"

*me grinning, going to remember that line next time I need extension of deadline*

Me*murmurs*:" Master has presented dobby with a sock"
*Girl in next cubicle snickers clearly caught the reference "

Going to love it here.

Job advertisement of the biggest software company here at our train station in Dortmund, Germany.

Heard a conversation between my colleague and the boss

Boss: (saw my colleague's messy desk) hey, could you organize your desk? It's not nice to see when clients come in. You know what they say, messy desk represents a messy brain..

Colleague: (glanced over to the boss' empty desk) and what does an empty desk say for the brain?

I use a lot of dev tools, but one of my favorites is the Linux screen utility. It's awesome to be able to keep shit running on servers whether my laptop stays connected tot he server or not. It's great for jobs that take a long time, can't get interrupted, etc.

If you haven't used screen definitely give it a try!

I need new friends.

Me: Just Google it..

Friend:
Opens browser (home page is some ad-riddled crap)

Types "Google" in address bar

(Google search page opens)

Clicks first result (google.com)

Types search query.

Me: 😶🔫

JavaScript is to Java what fun is to a funeral.

Our university syllabus is so outdated, we are forced to do C programs in TurboC.
So we install Dosbox on Windows 8 machines...
1 upvote = 1 prayer

🤷🏻‍♂️....

God damnit. Just when you thought you were safe..

The first push got rejected so I had to use the Windows equivalent sudo command instead

When you SSH into a machine and then SSH back into yours, you know you are drunk.

Customer: I have installed Windows on my computer
Support: Yes, and ?
C: And I have problem now...
S: You already said that.

They want what?! Call me away from vacation even though I'm not employed there anymore because they are to STUPID to read a FUCKING EMAIL?!

I sent the mail to THREE PEOPLE with the path to the docs and friggin TRIPLE CHECKED THE PATH AND FILES...

"Yeah could you please be there tomorrow morning?"

A system administrator has two problems:
1. stupid users
2. smart users

i hate magento 2 soo much, that i am dreaming of landing bombs on magento creators

Definitely should get one!

The day I send myself about 76k mails
> be me
> be working on a rest api
> implement an error handler that would send me a mail with exception details
> use same error handler in mail send error handler
> Summoned the recursion devil by accident
> Test error handler
> Forgot port forwarding to SMTP server
> keep the debug session open
> throw new UnexpectedInterruptionException()
> get back to work
> Add the missing port forwarding rule to putty
> The error handler starts doing it's thing
> The handler chain starts to pop
> handler after handler executes
> PCFreeze.png
> WhatTheFuckIsGoingOn.gif
> VS finally accepts stop debugging
> PhoneVibrationSpam.mp3
> Peek into webmail
> WowFinallySomeFanMail
> Look into it
> Realizing what I have done
> Delete mailbox
> Remove recursion
> Wow that's how randy must have felt in southpark
> Feel weird
> Shutdown, go outside
> What's up anon?
> Nothing, really

He's not rubber. Or a duck, but still a great debugger...