Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

Stop trying to do better than client expects. Never ends good - no one will appreciate your efforts, and it often creates unnecessary misunderstandings.

Me when I look through my old projects: Man, what the fuck was I thinking.

Me when I look through my new and current projects:
Man, what the fuck am I thinking.

Even you, Google

When I go nuts

Being made redundant from my first dev job this morning.

Might as well make it a positive thing though! I've now got time for a few side projects and open source contributions!

Last follow up rant for now on the Linux job hunting. Recruiter called and said that the employer is no longer interested in me. Slightly sad but hey let's keep the chin up and continue job hunting!

After 10 months of development we bring the first prototype of our awesome new product to show it to the board of directors. Whereupon the chairman of the board angrily shouts at us "has nobody told you we cancelled this project a month ago?!"

I left two months later, they went bankrupt a year later.

Isn't it great when you start a project with nothing but dedication and enthusiasm to have it ruined by someone that just doesn't care and proceeds to shit on everything you have worked for.

When dealing with the ignorant!

On my first dev job ever, I got sent to the client's office after studying CSS on my own for 2 weeks.
Client: "So, you're the great expert your manager told me about?"

The moment when even Google show no realted searches, is the moment when you realise you are in some real shit !!!
#stuckupcode #noclue

I'm interrupted frequently during team meetings, usually by junior team members. I brought it up to my boss at a 1:1 and now he interrupts me more often than they do.

I wasn't giving you permission. 😒

I just got my first paid internship at a web dev company!!!

Remembering last year tweet...
https://twitter.com/ajlobster/...

CS final exam in 20 min wish me luck😊

❤C♥O❤D♥E❤

Well...

> installs devRant app on my iPhone
> too lazy to type my 18-char random password on mobile
> password manager app not on App Store yet
> dig up my old Macbook
> install XCode & homebrew package manager
> install 2 other package managers using homebrew
> install App deps from the 2 package managers
> query stackoverflow for why my deps fail to install
> open App in XCode
> setup Apple provisioning profile
> trust my certificate on my iPhone
> dig up an old router & setup a local WiFi network
> start a server on my laptop to serve my PGP keys
> download my PGP keys to my iPhone
> app crashes
> open an issue on github with steps to reproduce & stacktrace
...
> type my 18-char random password
> rant on how I wasted an entire afternoon

I was SO EXCITED with my 10th ++, 'cause avatar. But... no heels :'(

Roses are red,
violets are blue;
If I were a query,
I'd SELECT * FROM you;

Seen on a lottery commercial:

Guy 1: That can't be right check it again.
Guy 2: Computers can't be wrong, they're programmed that way!

"Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time. The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time." - N.J. Rubenking

Confession: If I weren't a programmer, I probably would have never used a single semicolon in my life!

We've all been there

THIS AD IS ANNOYING!!! 😬

When some complete Fuck-Knuckle marks your question as a duplicate on Stackoverflow and doesn't link to the duplicate.

Cat: *walks onto keyboard*
Me: Aww how cute
Cat: $ git reset --hard HEAD

When your coworker appreciates your code saying it's neat and beautiful

I FINALLY landed an internship!! Fuck yes!! I'm secured for the summer woo-hoo!! 😄