Not having to deal with traffic or public transport. It would save me 2-3 hours a day

Jetbrains products 👌👌👌👌

How could you ever explain this to your family? PHP eww

Can't sleep

- "Hi, it is you who starred my github project?"

Time to print out project source code

Chrome as bartender in windows

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Conversation today...

Guy: "Hey I need a real quick script to pull some values out of an XML document...is that possible?"

Me: "Uh...yeah that's pretty simple if that's all it has to do."

Guy: "Ok excellent I'll send you some files and documentation."

Me: "Ok so is this like a one time use thing or do you need to parse multiple of these?"

Guy: "Actually it needs to run all the time, on this specific PC, watch directories for any files that are added, then generate a XLSX files of the values, and also log information to a database. Etc"

Me: "Oh that adds quite a bit of complexity from what you originally said. It's going to take more time."

Guy: "But you said it was easy."

Well fuck you...

Best meme ever hahaha 😂🍎

Saw this one today LOL.

hex is sexy 💁

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tony is awesome

This MEME made my day LOL :D

/bin/meme

A perfect date for a Programmer !!

😂2smart

FULL CREDIT GOES TO: @programmer.me on Instagram

Link to the post:
https://instagram.com/p/...

is it just me or is finishing the rest of 10% of the project much more fucking harder than finishing 90%?

Never knew words like “API” “PHP” “Backend Server” “Objective C” “C++” “Java” can be such a turn on when coming out of a female’s mouth in a meaningful order...

🤫

Outplayed.

123456

!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.

Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...

A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.

A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....

game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡

Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant

How developers deal with someone else's code!
Fixing bugs after bugs and it goes on.

I know I am that kind of user 😂

Everything is fine 😌

I'm not scared of a computer passing the Turing Test. I'm terrified of one that intentionally fails it.

Source: https://reddit.com/r/...

Co-worker: hey, can you create an email?

Me: yeah, who needs one? There are no records indicating any new people starting for another two weeks.

Cw: if for Stan, he started today. Also he needs a computer set up.

Me: who the hell is Stan and why are there no records of this person?

Cw: he's new, he started today so we didn't need an email or computer before today.

Me: I get that they're new, but what happened to giving the IT department at least 3 days notice on new hires so I can make sure things get taken care of?

Cw: you know how it is around here, nobody gets notice for anything. So can you get that email and computer setup for me, he can't work without them.

Me: I get that we don't actually plan for anything around here and that 90% of my job is fixing that failure, but hiring someone isn't like a system failing, people don't just show up and say "I start today" they have to go through interviews and background checks and other stuff, someone besides this person knew they started today so I don't think it's too much to ask that I get an email when the offer is extended to the person so I can prepare a system.

Cw: well we interviewed him two weeks ago and he accepted the offer last week, he's here and waiting so just as soon as you can please.

Me: well here's an email, the computer is gonna have to wait, I have a lot going on today and I don't have any computers ready right now.

*Seriously tempted to make them wait till next week to cover the 3 days notice I've asked for 100 times*

friend of mine: "I like my servers like I like my girls"
me: "insecure?"