I moved from a no-dogs-allowed company to an office with three dogs in.
Forget the better salary, the more freedoms, the nicer boss I have now.
The main benefit is that I get to pet dogs every day now!

Here is something we never thought about.

It will be a very slow death.

Came up with this meme at 3 in the morning

Conspiracy Theory:

Coding standards were invented so that your colleagues can steal your code without any effort.

Another project done in 3 days

https://txstc55.github.io/image-wor...

Generates word cloud based on image and text file user given, the default is Lincoln and his speeches.

Doesn’t work on phones, please view it on desktop/laptop

My god I’m a fucking legend

The way 90% of the population wears their face masks really explains a lot about their approach to using software, apps & websites as well.

I feel like giving up.

I am not a developer for the salary, or just to solve analytical puzzles. Those are motivators, but my main drive is to make the world more comfortable and enjoyable, better optimized, build ethical services which bring happiness into people's lives. I want to improve society, even if it's just a tiny bit.

But if users invest absolutely zero percent of their limited brain capacity into understanding a product that already has a super-clean design and responds with helpful validation messages...

...why the fuck bother.

I used to think of the gap between technology and tech-incompetent people as an optimization problem.

As something which could be fixed by spending a fortune on UX research. Write tests, hire QA employees, decrease tech debt, create a bold but unified & simple design.

But the technologically incompetent just get more entitled with every small thing you simplify.

It's never fucking fool-proof enough.

Why can't I upload a 220MB PDF as profile picture? Why doesn't the app install on my 9 year old Android Froyo phone? Why can't I sign up if my phone number contains a  U+FFFC? Why does this page load so slowly from my rural concrete bunker in East Ukraine? WHY DO I HAVE PNEUMONIA, HOW DID I GET INFECTED EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING A MOUTH MASK ON MY FOREHEAD?

This is why I ran away from Frontend, to Backend, to DBA.

If I could remove myself further from the end user, I would.

At least I still have a full glass of tawny port and a huge database which needs to be normalized & migrated.

Fuck humans, I'm going to hug a server.

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

A good parent is an informed parent!

Since 2011, everyone in my large family lights candles on birthday cakes in binary. 1 is lit candle, 0 is just a candle. I taught them to do this. I mean you can encode years from 1 to 127 with just seven candles, so we’re using the same pack of small candles we bought in 2011.

Fuck you big candle industry. You got nothing on me.

And yes, after several hours debugging I found a delete statement in a function called "changeName"... :)

When I first saw the line:
include <stdio.h>

I read it as:
include <studio.h>

Every time

I do like my current employer very much :D

This is a snip from an official job ad in their portal :)

Picture

Fun Fact: Did you know that git clone starts a child process for downloading the repo but the parent process terminates, therefore working in an asynchrone way so &&-ing the next instruction, which might rely on those files, won't help you?
Well now you know, and so do I.
Fornicating piece of excrement, what a fun afternoon.

I get to sleep with the hot secretary...

i.e. my wife

My fucking company just decided that anyone who wants to work from home because of the Corona scare will get a 50% pay cut. Even if there's zero drop in efficiency.

How illegal is this shit?

1. I don't have to use headphones to listen to music. Can listen in speakers and avoid my ears being sweaty
2. No random interruptions from anyone. Interruptions are usually from slack messages and emails which I can decide when to look at
3. Have a solid 1 or 2 hours for coding (because of the above 2 reasons)
4. The time spent in commuting is instead spent on nap or relaxing

I get a text from QA...

Tells me no bugs found...

Me thinks the apocalypse is tonight

While being stuck in the experiment room yesterday, I was thinking that it's the perfect place for a quickie, but then realized I got nobody to share the spot with. 😐

Fml.

My first line of code today 🙈⚠️

```
<div class="corona-banner"></div>
```

So, 2 weeks ago I started my new job at a company I had my eye on for almost a year, feeling super blessed because after leaving my previous job with such a toxic work environment, it is so refreshing to be around new people who actually value you. I’m so excited to learn new skills and push myself towards the role I was dreaming of since university. :-)

😂😂😂😂

Elasticsearch queries are FUCKING ugly

Elasticsearch documentation is FUCKING bare-minimum.

Kibana only shows data when it FUCKING feels like it.

Elastic stack is FUCKING annoying me

I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 10

This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

I'm on my third day of vacation and I really wish I could code something for a bit

Doesn't matter.