CEO "If you make costs to build a home office for covid, please be aware that you can fully declare your bills, and you'll retain ownership over the ordered goods. Please all buy some good desk chairs and keyboards, so you can work ergonomically"

6 months later, CFO: "Bittersweet, why did you try to declare €35000? What are these invoices even? Concrete rebar?"

Me: "CEO told us to build a home office. I got permits from the town to dig a souterrain layer under my house. This is just for the foundation, the bills for drainage pumps, sheetpiling, geothermal heat exchangers, insulation, flooring, electricity and of course desk & chair will follow later"

CFO: 😳

(To be fair, I really did make those costs, but was just trolling by uploading all the material bills)

As a webmail user, I want to be logged out automatically without any reasonable reason, to be able to read your notice that I have forgotten to log out, once I log in again.

Predominantly a Microsoft Stack Dev, used Windows for the last 14 years.

Switched to linux mint for the last couple of weeks. Trust me its a breath of fresh air. Fast and smooth. True to its promises, minds its business.

Windows is nothing but a cranky, annoying, slow talking bitch!

Updated description!
Fuck Wordpress in the ass with a new kind of cms. Make devs happy with clean code. And Laravel [more details]

World domination plan. [more details]

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

General advice: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

Comprehensive HTTP Status Codes 😂

Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?

In 2025, JS-frameworks will outnumber humans.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

While I was looking for a wallpaper to use on my laptop, I bumped on this one and nostalgia kicked in!
It only took an instant to save it and set it!!! 😂
Whoever did this, s/he gets my respect!

FUCK.

That feeling when you get inspired with an idea for a web app, do a quick search and find out there are already 2-3 sites that offer exactly what you envisioned...

My motivation just sinks so low after cases like this!

PISS.

// Return result
return result;

I think I found my first Easter Egg!

She runs C shells by the seashore

When your girlfriend bathroom is highly active on github

me.children += 1;
^_^

currently working at making our orders electronic. told my 70 years old, not a computer having boss.
"I want to see that on my desk tomorrow"

As a Python user and the fucking unicode mess, this is sooooo mean!

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

Hey everyone!

devRant will be going down on Friday, July 7th around 10:30pm EDT so we can do some database maintenance and restructuring of our cluster. It hopefully won't be down for more than about 30 minutes or so, and during that time you should see our "down for maintenance" message.

If you usually use devRant while you're on the toilet (we know many do!), we apologize and suggest you try to schedule around this!

Please let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience.

Employer bans StackOverflow and Github but still wants me to develop stuff. Planning to quit.

Fact=!rant

Gf: Hey look, YouTube shows a preview of the video on mouse hover
Me: pornhub did it first
Gf:what?
Me:wut?

My company just blocked devRant ip...

Well, now I need to use my own mobile data to procrastinate

I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm not good with computers" from these god damn secretaries I have to work with.

Fuck you! I mean, seriously, FUCK YOU! That God damn piece of shit Windows XP door stop has been on your desk for at LEAST a decade (shit, I think that was the same PC my highschool had, and I'm in my mid thirties)!

What in the FUCK do you mean you don't know the difference between files and folder? How? HOW can you stare at that damn screen every fucking work day off your life and not grasp simple concepts!

And FUCK THE ADMINISTRATION for hiring these volunteerily ignorant babies who refuse to bother figuring out more than just where the power button is (and, fuck me, even THAT took years).

Fuck me if, after spending 40 God damn minutes of my time trying to guide some secretary, who's been working twice as long as I have and making probably twice as much, on how to copy a file from one folder to another, I have to listen to some fucking pity speech "I just don't get this high tech computer stuff. I'm just too old"

And FUCK society for allowing this fucking behavior! I don't know any other piece of technology where people are happy being so blindly ignorant to even the basics! I don't know Jack shit about the internal working of a car, but I know where and how to use my steering wheel and peddles and that I need to take the thing for an oil change. Hell, I even know when my tires look bad... If I can do that, you can fucking learn how to copy a god damn file without needing me to help you... FOR A FUCKING HOUR!

FUUUUCK!

*Takes a deep breath*
So... How was your day?

My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:

BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha

I'm at Disney world and the Windows OS was exposed on one of the machines at a ride so pulled up CMD and ran "tree C:/" then played sample music on full blast. Get on my level hackers :^)

Stranger: "what are you doing?"
Me:"I'm developing a WPF app for a personal project"
Stranger:"So it's for Windows...I prefer Linux because...blah blah"
Me: -.-

Sometimes I feel like Linux users are the Vegans of the tech world...

User:"It's not working"
Me:"Have you turned it off and on again?"
User:"Yes"
Me: goes down there, system uptime is 360days...
"How do you turn it off?"
User:"by pressing the button on the monitor