New colleague in the office.

Him: How do you rename a file in terminal?
Me: Just sudo rm <filename>, rm stands for ReName.

I'm a horrible person.

DELETING EVERY PHONE GAME!!!

Joined a company as a junior developer and have been working there for almost 4 years.

Too scared to leave because I don't know if I'm good enough to apply for a non junior role :(

Is this the so called "imposter syndrome?"

My new years resolution is: 2K Baybee!

People are becoming more annoying or I'm just becoming more cranky.

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

My first TrumpScript:
https://github.com/samshadwell/...

A million is 1000000
and one is, million over million;
our great country is, 1000010 minus million;
make immigrants, country times million;

For as long as, we have immigrants greater than one;:

I say immigrants
I say "That wall just got ten feet taller!"

And we have to make immigrants go back, fight immigrants over country;!
say it with me "We made America great again!!"

America is great.

I can't watch others use a computer.

That's not how you ask google a question.

You're clicking the wrong way.
You click like an idiot.

Why are you scrolling like that? do you hate moving down the page so mutch it makes you scroll like that?

Why am i forced to sit through this?
When will this end?

When you get back home from your job and you do exactly the same things because you love it

Yet again

If foo():
return True
else:
return False

Agrrr!!11

Off work like...

Woah woah ... https://github.audio
Visit on Desktop and plug your earphones.

Counldn't be happier!

I was asked by a client to code review their platform built in PHP. The platform was becoming slow and new features built by their current IT supplier broke existing features.

I gained access to the source code... One PHP file (index.php) containing about 80K lines of code... I am impressed and disgusted at the same time. 😂

I can't believe I have been so blind all this time! For years I have unquestionably accepted the lies of corporations and governments around the world, but I have been enlightened and it is glorious!

So thank you, JavaScript, you magnificent beast - for informing me of the misinformation that has resided in the public consciousness for thousands of years!

It is not the year 2016, it is in fact only the year 116 - wake up sheeple!

When a dev says that he's a really good programmer in his CV/Résumé he usually actually means that he's really good at browsing stackoverflow