The end is near, everyone duck for cover while I drop an unbelievable project on you!

I present to you.......
Object Orientated HTML or “OOH”

https://github.com/Michaelkielstra/...

~ Disclaimer
This is not mine, just scary as hell to stumble over 😱

Dev conversations be like 🤣🤣

True story? Idk, just made me laugh

True Af😂

Guuuys! I made it! I just got my first job in IT as a Junior Sys Admin at a Security/Pen Testing company. So happy right now. Just wanted to share with you. :D

Product manager: build us a recently viewed and bookmark feature!

Younger-Me: But every browser already has a bookmark feature and a recently viewed (history) feature and its much better implemented with much less overhead.

Product manager: I don't care. Give me this feature, you are supposed to do as i say and bow.

Younger-Me: I'll take it as a challenge.

--- two weeks after feature is deployed ---

Product Manager: 😁 See! Many users are using the feature we built *shows me messages from subscribed customers*

Me: 😨 I'll never underestimate user's stupidity again.

Time to buy the set

once you start using linux on laptop. here is a condition of your mouse.
i don't know when I touched it last time.

Karma XD

Every time I code, my programmer boyfriend has to be near me. Why, you may ask? Because this happens too often:

me: *yells bf name*, why does this not work?????
bf: here, lemme see
*code mysteriously works when bf comes to see*
bf: what, theres nothing wrong with that
me:

my boyfriend like to talk to much, sometimes i want to shoot him in the face with

"Your verbosity is astronomicaly beyond java"

What I imagine when reading this error message

Tonight I want to try to setup an openvpn server with mysql based authentication because I'd love to somehow setup/become a vpn provider.

Of course there's a huge ass legal part but let's first make sure I know the technology of the top of my head!

Just ranting this out because I'm excited 😊

IT: Its controlled via SSO, everyone has access by default

Me: oh i'm sorry, you are correct, I don't have an error message on my screen saying I don't have access. I made it all up. Thank you, you may close the support ticket

git commit -m "Batman! (this commit has no parents)"

I'll show myself out.

I am gonna rage for a bit.
Before I start, know this: I diehard love development, computer science and everythjng surrounding it.

The area comes with a very nice and interesting history and cultural impact. In particular, here as it was in the U.S of A. I love it, I love researching till my eyes beg me to stop and my brain fries. I love reading about history and the silicon knights that madd shit happen through digital wizardry.

And you can only imagine how happy I was when I got my shiny lol B.S in Comp Sci, keep it in my office and errthang.
I
Fucking
Love
My
Field

But. I have noticed something recently. In 2018(obviously before that) this new generation has a knack for making things cringey.

What do I mean by that?

Well, shit like that. Is it necessary? Or what about images(multiple) showing stuff like "double tap for your favorite language!"

Why? Why must we be this way? Why do people find a way to shit all over nice things? Is this shit necessary?

I specially hate pictures of girls showing their legs and right next to them a laptop with some basic af css file --->#codergirl ....fuck off.

Or the trillions of code pictures that are only html or some js framework flavor of the week.

Its just retarded man.

Yes, Github, please load those 0 conversations that you've hidden.

...solution found!

So Last year December my cousin see's me making a basic 3D game in Unity and says he wants to do programming.

Me: No, you don't want that. Become a doctor like your parents want you two.
Him: I'll do it.
Me: Ok. If you want to suffer, i'll teach you some basic C#

Me: *Shows him basic C# code in visual studio*
Him: *Not paying attention* Cool. When can i make games?
Me: That's not how this works. Where do you intend to study?
Him: M.I.T!
Me: You better get your ass infront of that fucken computer, google and youtube the shit out of you, matter of fact i'll get you a shit bucket so you don't have to get up.
Him: I don't have to go so hard now, i'm only 16.
Me: *Facepalm* That's why you have to do this now.

...7 months later...
(Yesterday)
Me: Show me how you make a basic calculator application.
Him: I don't know how to do that, you didn't show me.
Me: *laughing*
Him: Whats so funny?
Me: You're screwed *still laughing*

Don't get me wrong. He's a smart kid. Just needs to fucken do something if he wants his goal.

So my boss sent me a msg at 00:05 to update production.

And here I was at 7:30am reading it with a poker face thinking "no dude, my working hours are not like that, lol. Get a life."

A poor horndog developer started bothering me with useless appreciations like «Oh, a female developer, such a rarity...»
After some chatting he asked me: «How tall are you?»
My answer was: «2FuF8A, find the correct decoding by yourself».
It is "1,67" encoded in Base58 (because Base64 is too mainstream).
He never came back with the solution.

*erects*

I hate to repost content but I just had to share this amazing piece of porn

Single S can make search intresting

Had an unannounced performance/progress review at work today.

I always get nervous when having those but I know my boss and lead support engineer by now so i got to relaxed mode quite fast.

Then i was getting very cold and started to shake (in combo with the slight nervousness).

That lead to extensive stuttering 😬

Apparently I put my chair right under a fucking ceiling fan thingy in my nervousness.

😅

Eclipse is a piece of shit.

CEO: Can you make this and this
Me: Yes!
CEO: That's great, you can start working on that
Me: coding ... testing ... coding ... finished
CEO: Great it works, but can you explain to me what are the benefits of this
Me: ..... (why did you ask in the first place)

Seen at work in code:

<!-- DO NOT REMOVE CONTENTS PLACED HERE //TODO: Would have loved if some one also had said why we should not remove this -->

Lol

Any rubik’s cube fan?
I ordered a rubik’s cube to help me when I faced a bug since I don’t know how to use the rubber duck

Consider this

Problems when selecting my country when signing up in websites

It is one of the following, and you should search it.

Republic of Korea
Korea, Republic of
South Korea
Korea, South
Korea
대한민국
남한

And some extraordinary names I saw
Korea, the good side
Korea, the below one
Chosun a.k.a. 조선 (the dynasty in korea that disappeared years and years ago)

Best wishes to me.