Creepy..... WTF

Programming Fact

So my college is writing a desktop app (usually my domain), and he doesn't want to do internationalisation because of time constraints. HARD CODED STRINGS EVERYWHERE!

Fucking Android Studio! I fucking updated it, and now fucking nothing works at fucking all..

When you're browsing web with firefox and accidentally opens new window instead of new tab

Two new coworkers step in. HR hasn't set up their accounts yet. We create all necessary tickets and wait. A week has now gone by. New guys are just sitting there reading documentation. Call HR

- We are currently processing the request.
- But what is taking so long?
- The request needs to be approved in 4 steps by people on higher and higher levels.
- What level is it currently on?
- Two

*Rage quit*

The honest website ever... 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

I know that feeling. Poor you :(

well, sorry Dave

Debugging someone else's code and having the thought: "Am I better off just writing the code again from the start?!"

some people would buy it 😄

And that was enough encouragement

So my gf wants to learn how to code. Just showed her Codecademy. It will be fun to watch this.

please don't...

we have this gif in our company's image server, named clients.gif

the joke XD

My GF said I look so silent and innocent while working. She has no idea how much I curse the monitor in my head while working.

Myself 1 week into programming
"I can build a website!!"

Myself 2 years later and multiple web and mobile apps launched
"I know nothing"

spent 7-8 months looking for work (did a few freelance jobs in the mean time), spent what's worth of days on LinkedIn.. no reply at all, talked to recruiters got declined over the phone after 2-3 mins of call time..

Applied to a company branch in my home country nailed the 4+1(code challenge) interviews, will be leaving this Saturday morning (in 2days) now the bloody bastards start to reply and send offers for positions they have, when I clearly have to decline as I don't want to be left empty handed..

fuck you Sam, Jake and the other pricks that decided it is OK to reply after 3-4 months.. go fuck yourselves with a horse's dick you piece of crap.. After you're done, go shoot yourselves with the gun for ugly dumb animals!!! Hate you!

Kind regards, dev-nope!

Safe Windows...

I am 52. I think I am the oldest ranter. This deserves a sticker no doubt!

My son is about to be born within the next 30 minutes!! Not such a rant just some happy news!

#foreveralone 😓

On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

how do you migrate to production so fast?

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

When you find a problem you're trying to solve on stack overflow and it has no answers

I hate programming.
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
IT WORKS!
I love programming.

I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold