When your professor pronounces Git as "jit", you know it's time you drop out.

Programmers have to make it complicated. 😎

Universe is telling...

Coworker's whiteboard today

I gave my project manager a prototype of the ocr app we're developing to play with, just for fun. The next morning, I enter the office to see this along with a well structure spreadsheet with some 40 columns.

Never underestimate the seriousness of a project manager.

So our last project was a hybrid application in Cordova
During client meeting:

Client (digital mobile lead) : So we have to integrate Nodejs in our App

Me: huh :|||

BD guy: yes SIR, yes SIR

Me: we cant integrate like that, both are different things and have different applications :|

Client: I am told that Nodejs is FAST and its Javascript

BD guy: yes SIR, yes SIR

Me: but (just started to explain the difference)

Client: we need to increase the 'bandwidth', we want another senior resource for this project

BD guy: yes SIR, yes....

Me: what the FUCK :|

When I was 11 or 12 and I found a magazine for kids that for some reason had an HTML tutorial to build a personal site with Microsoft Frontpage. I think it was 2006 back then and for a few weeks I learnt a lot about HTML, managed to create my site and upload it to a free host. I was fascinated. That was my first close up, at least, to something related to programming. From that day, I knew I was going to work with computers. Now I'm a Java dev but I'm still seeking the language for me. Maybe Javascript.

boss: wish there was a way to go back to older versions..
me: there is, it's called git, I can show you how to use it!
boss: nah we will just keep using the sync on Dreamweaver
me:....the fuck?!

You know what I hate. Salesforce. Why the heck am I working in this crap hole?

JavaScript.. FTW😉😎

If my coworker refers to Java as Javascript one more time I'll need someone to hold me back

The only correct way to write JavaScript is whatever you were not doing last week.

My Model M and my red Swingline

Programming Fact

when your janitor knows his audience

Sometimes I envy frontend developers because the very nature of their role involves rapid change. Then I remember that backend devs can practically get away with murder and the customer will be none the wiser.

When the internet breaks down, us web devs don't know what to do. 😂 Yay for early lunch!

Soms week ago a client came to me with the request to restructure the nameservers for his hosting company. Due to the requirements, I soon realised none of the existing DNS servers would be a perfect fit. Me, being a PHP programmer with some decent general linux/server skills decided to do what I do best: write a small nameservers which could execute the zone transfers... in PHP. I proposed the plan to the client and explained to him how this was going to solve all of his problems. He agreed and started worked.

After a few week of reading a dozen RFC documents on the DNS protocol I wrote a DNS library capable of reading/writing the master file format and reading/writing the binary wire format (we needed this anyway, we had some more projects where PHP did not provide is with enough control over the DNS queries). In short, I wrote a decent DNS resolver.

Another two weeks I was working on the actual DNS server which would handle the NOTIFY queries and execute the zone transfers (AXFR queries). I used the pthreads extension to make the server behave like an actual server which can handle multiple request at once. It took some time (in my opinion the pthreads extension is not extremely well documented and a lot of its behavior has to be detected through trail and error, or, reading the C source code. However, it still is a pretty decent extension.)

Yesterday, while debugging some last issues, the DNS server written in PHP received its first NOTIFY about a changed DNS zone. It executed the zone transfer and updated the real database of the actual primary DNS server. I was extremely euphoric and I began to realise what I wrote in the weeks before. I shared the good news the client and with some other people (a network engineer, a server administrator, a junior programmer, etc.). None of which really seemed to understand what I did. The most positive response was: "So, you can execute a zone transfer?", in a kind of condescending way.

This was one of those moments I realised again, most of the people, even those who are fairly technical, will never understand what we programmers do. My euphoric moment soon became a moment of loneliness...

Web devs get me

Hey! I just joined and am currently learning python. My boyfriend @macleod is obsessed with this place and said i should join so hi!

Sometimes I wish I can control life like CSS.

Example: traffic{ float: left}

don't think I'd be allowed this at work, but at home, its an amazing way to release my programming frustrations!

Manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre

Dev: ok, this is it, remember your training

class Dog extends Animal {}

The best answer