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TFW you see ruby syntax and claim it's not even a programming language, then someone shows you a working example...

When you have more than 100 open tabs in Chrome on your phone, this apparently happens

Looks like my users are enjoying themselves. Bringing my poor dedicated server to a load average of 72/8 at full CPU usage.

If only I wasn't just running an open source project by myself with only crowd-source money to rely on for server costs :v

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't say that.

Anyone waiting for tip #1..

I'm not going to be the guy to ruin this moment...

Received a website from a developer in my freelancing job today.

Everything rolls. Literally everything. Text, images, links every GOD DAMN THING HAS A ROLLING ANIMATION. WHAT THE FUCK

true story

Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.

I'm nearly done importing almost half a million records to Shopify and they just formal email asking me to stop hitting their API so hard.

https://github.com/search/...

This should not happen 😎

Client: My mouse is working backwards
me: *rotates mouse 180 degrees*
Client: Thanks! You even brought the buttons back!

Idea was to make a little helper utility to be used once (only for myself, not client). But, I've kept adding layers of functionality over layers of functionality ... Long story short - this monstrosity (UI is bad, code not that much) was used for 10+ years (again, only by myself).

Finally, personal embarrassment was too big, so I took wooden stake and monster passed away. All related files deleted (but not before one final screenshot).

When the client thinks "freelance" means "working for free" and refuses to pay

Even Valgrind hates me now!

Quality assurance is not a high point for niantic is it? I was able to find a rather interesting bug while playing pokemon go.

http://imgur.com/gallery/54iBQ
TLDC (Too Long Didn't Click)

I found that I could log into my account on two different phones and now I can be in two places at once, so to speak.

Mastering Tao!!

Only way out...