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Joined devRant on 6/17/2016
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"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
A friend asks me for help with one of her subjects in college (She is taking a degree on Communication sciences):
Her: "Hey! Can you help me with Java next semester? I am going to have a subject about that..."
Me: "Java in your degree? Strange... You sure it's Java?"
Her: "Yes, I'm sure! I've talked to some people of my degree and they said it is Java. Can you help me?"
Me: "Okay! Do you have any documentation so that I can check what you are going to learn about Java?"
*She sends a PDF*
I open the PDF and the first page says: "Introduction to JavaScript".5 -
My boss baught me a new setup because he crashed into my car. I think i can accept this apology^^21
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Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄5
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So my landlord just came up and asked why I'm using so much bandwidth (they've just had a new line installed so they're monitoring it like hell for some reason) so we had a chat, I told him I'm a Web Developer so I'm uploading and downloading a load, and bare in mind this is student housing, he offered to install a wired connection in my flat only so I'll have a decent and stable connection when all the other students come back in September.
This is the first time in my life I feel like I'm not paying enough rent!7 -
What if Snapchat's filters are all a part of the government's plot to develop a facial recognition database? 🤔6
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When I'm sitting at home scrolling through rants and laughing once in a while, my boyfriend always wants to know what's so funny. Most of the time I then have to explain the rant and he always says "you IT guys are sooo weird" and shakes his head
🤓🙈😂10 -
Boss showed me a website and the first thing came into my mind was:
Someone actually got paid for this rubbish
😠2 -
My wife comes to me, looks over my shoulder at my screen with devRant opened:
- Are you reading these "deviants" again?!
...for a moment I felt like being caught on watching redtube or something 😂2