Never leave your login on a postit

A call I had today, girl registered a domain and put it in her hosting package:

Girl: so where can I view my email accounts?
Me: *explains*
G: Oh, I wanted an email address with info or my first name as part before the @ but I only see an account with the name of my hosting account username?
Me: that's right, that's a default one you get :)
G: oh 😞 I....I.... I've always have wanted a domain name with my own email addresses linked to it and I thought I could do that this way 😩
(I could hear the disappointment and that she seemed very sad suddenly)
Me: do you see that "create new email account" button up there?
G: Yes..... Wait.... Can I make like multiple email addresses myself?!
Me: as many as you can manage inside your hosting account!
G: 😵😍 OH MY GOD
Me: Haha, enjoy creating some!
G: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE
*Click*

It's those moments which can make your fucking day!

"Turn it off and on again."

Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.

Life support, not so much.

Always

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Trying to make everything a one-liner. In the process overusing ternary operators, comma operators, short circuiting and/or operators.

Until someone else needs to review or understand what I created, and I'm forced to change... 😥

Just got this slack from our server admin.

Typical code comment

WHY THE HELL DOESN'T THIS METHOD WORK??!11!?? Oh, I never called it yet ._.

-The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve
-Yes, it was an apple
-But with an extremely limited memory
-Just one byte
-Then everything crashed

My cat loosed resolution, what should I do? :/

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

Css commenting

Product requirements created by PDM be like

Network joke

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

It's definitely friday in the office.

CSS is pretty much like the SQL of frontend. Fucking annoying.

I like paradoxes, I created one with multiple choice questions.

"Some stupid question" ?

A) answer 1
B) answer 2
C) None of the above
D) All of the above (paradox)

#killingtime

I, (a British developer), just had to explain how American Zip Codes work to my US-based colleague...

Behind every successful developer there is a deactivated Facebook profile.

Behind the screens :\

"Programming is like writing a book... except if you miss a single comma on page 156 the whole thing makes no damn sense" - unknown

+1 if you like my new laptop skin...

Well... Erm...

Knowledge is power, 1337 skills

5 things you will find shocking about asynchronous code:

3.
2.
5.
1.
4.

Source: http://sandraandwoo.com/2012/11/...

note: only rarely about programming

Angry client: Your program does not work!
Me: Have you tried switching the user?