Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Lamer rant
For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.
Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.
Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!
Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.
Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.
Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!
Fkk...
Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!
F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!
Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!
I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.20 -
So, Facebook is acquiring Giphy. The amount of metadata they're about to get is fucking insane.
And since I refuse to personally use anything Facebook related... I won't be able to use the GIF integration of any messenger and many more products/services anymore, I guess...
Just fucking great. Fucking die, Facebook.36 -
*joins devrant*
*Deletes fb and all social stuff*
*all friends use facebook messenger*
*quietly installs again*
(First world problems)25 -
This is Facebook Messenger. And thats a fuckin Advert. Fuckin adverts in my fuckin inbox. For fuck me's sake, What the fuck
19 -
Best one minute life hack..
1. Uninstall Facebook Messenger
2. Uninstall WhatsApp
3. Uninstall Instagram, Snapchat
4. Install DevRant.
6 -
I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.
When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.
Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?
And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.
Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.21 -
*sees how Facebook kicked me out of my Bitlbee session again*
Me: "Motherf-..."
Still there's some friends of mine on Facebook who apparently got really hooked.. can't for the love of the holy Raven seem to get them away from that shithole.
"Alright then Facebook.. your win. I'll install Messenger and Pages Manager again to at least have your shit be semi-usable again 😑"
*installs said apps*
"Holy shit that battery is draining fast, and I'll have to go out in half an hour"
*plugs phone in fast charger*
*phone while charging keeps on dropping battery level*
FACECUNTS!!!!!! 😤
*powers off phone to conserve battery life and goes off to cook a meal*
*comes back to boot up the phone again and uninstalls those Face-crapps*
*phone immediately starts raising its battery level super fast*
Coincidence? I think not 🤔🤔🤔2 -
Facebook was forcing me to use their messenger app to read my messages on my mobile. I used to get the desktop version and everything was annoying but worked.
Now they blocked this by redirecting when trying to do that.....
....
....
...
..
.
ARE YOU RETARDED, YOU SHITHEADED DICKS?17 -
Dealing with other technical professionals who cannot think outside their respective boxes.
Here is an example.
A QA (who is very good at her job) said this...
Her:
“We need to get one customer who is willing to pay us a lot of money to make the features they want!”
Me:
“But you realize we are a SaaS company and that means we need lots of customers and constant growth”
Her:
“No, we need to find a customer who is willing to pay us, like a million, to make the features they want. Then we make them for that customer. Then we do that again.”
Me:
“We sell software to small businesses, none of them have a million dollars to pay us, and even if they did then why wouldn’t they build it themselves?
Her:
“Well, when I worked for my last company this is what we did...”
Me:
“So you worked for a contracting company who built software for individual companies. We are not that type of company. We are a SaaS company.”
Her:
“It’s the same thing”
Me:
~Facepalm~
As a software developer and entrepreneur it frustrates me when everyone think everything is the same.
You’ll here things like...
“All we need is to get lucky with one big hit and then we will ride that wave to success, just like Facebook or Amazon!”
Holy fucking shit balls, how stupid can you be!
FB and AZ run thousands of tests a day to see what works. They do not get “lucky”. They dark launched FB messenger with thousands of messages and then rolled it out to their internal team first, they did not get lucky!
Honestly though, I can’t blame them. Most people just want a good job that pays. They aren’t looking to challenge their assumptions.
Personally I know I will be in situations again where my pride, my assumption, my fears are realized and crushed by the market place and I do not want to live in a world of willful ignorance.
I’d rather get it right than feel good.1 -
I made an Android app that on random interval shows android notification with sound like Facebook notification.
Few girls in the office asking me whose messaging me this much on Facebook Messenger. They think the girls are responding to my messages and you know in no time the gossip made me famous.
It's kinda cool being a programmer 😎16 -
So, I got this review for my app which allows users to send files of all types via Facebook messenger, WhatsApp etc (IM apps) .....
"USERS"
#facepalm
4 -
Now even messenger has stories! :-(
When will this end!? And why the hell does Facebook need three versions of stories, in three different apps!?5 -
Instagram has stories, WhatsApp has stories, Facebook and Messenger is testing out stories.
This is the future.
3 -
Really thought Facebook changed the messenger icon. This smells of spam and paid reviews. I thought Google was working on trying to combat obvious name conflicts and spam.
5 -
Any malware specialists here?
Yesterday I started dismantling the virus that is spreading on facebook messenger these days.
What techniques do you use? Any special trick that doesn't require years of practice and could make my job easier? I have already familiarized myself with the nicifier and Function.ToString() traps. Now I have an 850 line JS file full of weird code and I have deciphered like 70 lines so far so I'm looking for some tool, strategy or algorithm to make my job easier.10 -
This is just one I had with my cousin who came for a visit.
Cousin: Yo bro, I want you to hack my girlfriend's Facebook?
Me: Lol, and why is that?
Cousin: I think she's cheating on me with this guy. I've seen her replying to him on fb messenger.
Me: Lol, ask her about it then if that's what you think.
Cousin: She won't talk bro. That's why I want you to hack her Facebook or even her phone so I can see who she's talking to.
Me: I can't bro.
Cousin: So you're not going to help me?
Me: Not that bro. I can't hack Facebook. I don't know how to do that stuff.
Cousin: But you have Bachelor's in CS and I've seen you writing those stuff on your computer....uhm, the code thing.
Me: Yeah, but those were school and personal programming projects. Not hacking stuff.. they're not the same.
Cousin: Oh man, what about her phone?
Me: Nope, can't do that either.
Cousin: But I've seen you hacking your Android phone... (*He saw me root my phone*)
Me: *face palm*3 -
Why is whatsapp just AIDS?!
The privacy thing is big but let's take a look at the app.
It's the only messenger app I've ever used that forces you to save incoming images to your gallery if you want to see them, like wtf?
The UI looks like shit and it's kinda hard to understand from a UX perspective, for example read receipts which Messenger does beautifully. Facebook owns WhatsApp so A it's not really a better choice than fb messenger and B it basically has a shit quality application compared to Messenger. The messaging experience in sketchy Chinese dating apps is better.
Also it basically hacks your phone. It turns on notifications and permissions by itself even when I explicitly turned them off, and sends me notifications for muted conversations.
Speaking of notificatikns. Every time I get 1 notification, notifications from every single chat even an unread messages from 3 years ago gets sent to my phone.
It guzzles battery like a monster.
And they have basically formed a cult in the indian community, so now everyone thinks its the best and no one uses anything else because "it's so convenient" which it's NOT. It has a terrible interface, and the only thing I like about it is the fact that it being so shit gives me an excuse to uninstall it and ignore all the fucking spam on there.
Honestly, the app needs to die ASAP because it is frankly the shittiest of shittiest messaging applications.5 -
Now my facebook messenger app does it's updates inside the app without my consent to install an apk.
I'm scared
6 -
Hey there 👋
I am more or less throwing any burden (WhatsApp, Facebook, Google etc.) out of my life. Of course I will continue using the Google account for YouTube and some games that need it.
That's what it looks like right now:
Raspberry Pi 3B+
✅ webserver
- forum - complete (atm just for me)
- blog - no ideas and just installed october cms and nothing done yet
- nextcloud - complete and filled with my porn... eeh... data
✅ mailserver
(missing spamassassin, clam or sth. like this but it's working 😂)
✅ matrix-synapse
(as an additional alternative to messengers)
______________
Raspberry Pi 2
✅ catches dust
(any ideas?)
Of course, many more configurations and the like are necessary before everything is ready... but what then or what else is there?
At the moment I still use WhatsApp. Just wanna take time before sending everyone a message about changing the messenger and that it should be important for thinking about the own privacy, which alternatives there are bla...
Edit: For passwords I'm using Myki - didn't hear anything bad about it yet and it's very easy to use (Firefox add-on, Android app).
I love my passwords with 200 characters 😂
Maybe someone's knowing more about them?
Hope I didn't forget a thing... thanks in advance aaaaaaand... I'm gone. ☺23 -
Soo why the fuck am I receiving notifications about someone from my contacts is available on messenger, when you don't fucking have the permissions to read my contacts? I'm looking at you Facebook Messenger.
That's some new level of ignorance. "Oh I see you didn't gave me the permissions to read your contacts. Worry not my friend just let me take a secret peek of it. I will be discreet, I promise!"... Well FUCK YOU!
P.S.: I only use that piece of garbage because unfortunately some of my friends are only available there... Time to convince them to switch.6 -
I hate Facebook messenger! Got a message about a freelance website I built a while ago with some change requests, as I was scrolling through the message I accidentally hit 👎. I tried to remove the reaction but deleted their message, which is only deleted for me so now I can't remove the reaction.8
-
Fuck this, I'm done, I'm leaving Facebook. Not messenger tho, all my friends are there (fuck 'em). But when you realize the thing you'll miss the most are meme pages, you can leave with peace of mind.6
-
Rip facebook apps.
Today at first it kicked me out of all my sessions, then I couldn't send pics in the messenger, then I couldn't accept new members for a group, now I can't even comment.
I wish I could know know who fucked up what :D4 -
If I was Marc Zuckerberg I would also be abandoning ship as quietly as possible.
https://cnbc.com/2018/03/...
I would realize that you can only prey on the world’s emotions of loneliness and boredom for so long before even the sheep realize they are being led to slaughter.
https://amazon.ca/Hooked-How-Build-...
I really don’t blame Facebook for this at all. The fact is that sheep need to be led by someone. That combined with the fact that absolute power corrupts absolutely was a recipe for massive success and then a decline.
Full Disclosure: While I am an infrequent user of FB I have always felt it was toxic and a tire-fire. Everyone around me disagreed so I came to he conclusion I was wrong and just phased it out of my life. Reading Nir Eyal’s book confirmed that the negatives outweighed the positives of FB. So, I am likely not the one to assess the value of FB in most peoples lives. However, I am inclined to think that most perceived value received is simply a fallacy.
But, if you think Facebook (besides
Messenger) actually provides value to your life I would really love to hear it! That’s not an empty challenge either, I would actually love to learn more about its value to you!4 -
I was so happy when Facebook introduced standalone Messenger web app so I wouldn't get so easy distracted from work by Facebook. Well guess what, I'm getting a new addiction in exchange: reading devRant
-
I removed Facebook Messenger **Lite** from my phone last night after reinstalling BetterBatterStats.
I thought using Lite meant no more background update or at least very little but...
Anyway after uninstalling, I've been unplugged for 10hrs, still 87%...
No need for battery pack anymore...3 -
This has been said before, but i'm gonna be honest with you here, straight from the bottom of my heart
Fuck the new chrome design is fucking repulsive, when did material == rounded corners.
This design reminds me more of what facebook is trying to do with their grotesque messenger.5 -
Using the Facebook Messenger thing on a recently updated Android 8 (finally, Huawei pieces of rotten eggs) is a friggin' pain in the starhole. For the life of me I can't seem to fudging remove this damn useless notification popping up... (pic)
It's more intrusive than the app itself... D:
I guess I'll need to trash the app then.. Good fucking riddance!
12 -
Do you think Facebook developed different " stories" for each platform . Or just copy paste the code !?
U know .. WhatsApp , Instagram, messenger, FB .7 -
I keep getting contacted on Facebook Messenger by "null", and receiving "message" from my friends. How can a social network suck so much? And how can a company spend so much money on declarative programmers without the rest of their teams picking up on such basic techniques as making invalid state unrepresentable?4
-
One company was looking for a developer, so they found my FB profile (yeah, Facebook). They scan my profile and contact me via Messenger and offer me a job. At the same time my previous company was in financial crisis and I'm the only staff left, so I felt so bored.
I give them a visit, then, voila, today is my first day there. Despite a bit far from my home, but it have wonderful workplace and apply good development practices. I'm comfortable here thank God. :)2 -
!dev
Hello there..
I always wanted to have my first post here be something that pisses the sh!t out of me.
tl;dr: Memes are for braindeads and kids are fucktards
Backstory:
So basicaly I am now having a summerjob before my next semester starts so I can make some cash to buy some overpriced stuff I dont probably need. I work at a factory, 3 shift work and today we had Night shift, so there was me and a bunch of Arab guys, kicking our asses by pure boredom and desperacy.
Act One:
I was bored, opened my phone and decided entertain myself by some funny sh!t I can find on Mark Sugarhills webpage. I was just passing by some random a bit funny stuff and then I found some random ass meme, which doesnt give a single, even distant sence to me.. So since my german is as good as my coding skills (read: complete shit) I couldnt ask for opinion of my fellow coworkers and since its fuck1ng 4am theres noone to ask on messenger or whatever. So I did it... I asked in a goddamn comments, what the fck is that supposed to mean and Aw dear Lawd... I did a mistake.
Act 2:
Like 4 seconds after my question I had a response and I was like 0.o It has to be some Alice of Facebook so I guess someone cool. Oh boy I was never so wrong. The answer... the... FUCKING answer was.... "normie."
What the actual fuck?
Like man statisticaly speaking, there is 200,000 people on this wannabe funny site and since everyone is apparently laughing their asses off, I am the motherfucking original snowflake.
But I wanted to play it cool... was like Uhm sorry, I really tried but cant figure it out.
His fuck-me-sideways-with-rusty-crowbar answer was:
a) The joke is hidden in some random thing we created yesterday and decided to call it a culture
b) "u dumb"
Act 3:
I hope that most of you finally guessed it! Its the second fucking answer and oh sweet mother of pain, please find him, BUT thats where I flipped and fucking lost it.
The fucking nerve to speak to me like that u dissrespectful piece of shit. Go watch some Twitch, while I SSH into ur ass and hit u harder than ur mom her forehead everynight when she realises that she could have swallow you dickhead.
Afterthoughts:
I was always worries that my child would like to be a Rapper, or Youtuber...
But today Im adding being some dumb ass meme creator.8 -
Facebook messenger app be like:
"Something went wrong, please try again"
No shit,when you r trying too make another snapchat app...1 -
I read through my old 2012 onwards chat threads on Facebook Messenger and felt disgusted with my cringey teenager seld.5
-
Fuck, I always thought writing websites for Internet Explorer was hard. But have you ever tried to escape Facebook Messenger's dark mode?! That shit is wild. Completely ignoring any settings specifically targeting dark mode and instead fucking up the entire color scheme. Even google, apple and other simple black and white sites are getting ass raped by this shit. WTF.1
-
Actually I'm writing a Facebook Messenger Bot. Characters limit for each sending message is 320, so I made simple function to split messages on parts. I set the limit to 315, 5 characters less than Facebook.
Spend 3 days on finding solutio why messenger is sending only last part of message.
Today I made a change, set my character limit to 316 and what? It's working! Set it to 320? Working!
Messenger has problem only when it's 315!
Piece of shit...4 -
Facebook should switch to NodeJS, seriously.
They eat the memory of my devices, that's weird it's only Messenger and Facebook who do this..Don't use Ajax when you don't know how to profit from it without affecting the user experience.15 -
Telegram or Signal? Got essentially blocked from Messenger because I was stupid enough to fold to peer pressure to get it for robotics and since I enabled it with a GV number they stopped allowing its use for specifically security checks while allowing it even to reset a password, and I somehow got a security check triggered, with no customer support and no ability to call with code, so I'm looking to switch. Even if I get Facebook back, I want to move to something at least that doesn't randomly trigger security checks and then has no customer support.13
-
How can I block the Facebook Messenger Group Call on iPhone? We have a family FB group chat and my parents are trigger happy on group calls.
I already tried googling but can't find a way to block the FB Messenger group call.6 -
It appears Facebook Messenger has started supporting a very limited markdown...
You can now use stuff like *bold* and _italic_ it seems...2 -
“The point of making a native app is to make it faster and more reliable than the web version”
Well, I guess Facebook Messenger for Windows misses that point entirely.2 -
Revolution of Communication/Chat/Data
Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, Messenger, Snapchat, LinkedIN, ETC
WE BASICALLY ARE BRINGING SKYNET TO LIFE.
AI REV HAS BEGUN!!!
Yaayyyy, the day Humans can live peacefully, and Date the right person, is sooo close.1 -
Does anyone have an explanation why WhatsApp exists? I mean Facebook has messenger so why do they have WhatsApp?9
-
Hmmm based on the description, not sure why this isn't the "Messenger". I mean.. looks like its better in every way
2 -
FACEBOOK COMMON!
I get that they released the app because they had a deal with windows 10, but after so much time can't you at least improve it a tiny bit? Even with a webapp from messenger it works faster.
-I got a text
-Open the app
-LOADING
-LOADING| Got tired unlocked phone
-LOADING| turn on wifi
-LOADING| open the conversation
-LOADING CONVERSATION| replied
-FINALLY FINISHED AND I NO LONGER NEED IT
Now how to fix this? First try not to have a IOS imported app, try to add quick reply in the notification. YEP thats a thing! Skype UWP at least has that going for them.1 -
tl;dr: looking for suggestions for new instant messenger (WhatsApp, Telegram, etc.)
so I used to use Facebook Messenger a LOT, actually much more than even texting (I know I know, Facebook=spyware lol). I wanna ditch Facebook so bad but most of the people I talk to, I message through Messenger, and thus, I don't have most people's actual phone number. so I'm looking for suggestions for a new messaging platform, where these are my priorities:
1. Ease of use/existing userbase (e.g. the more of my friends that are already on it, the better)
2. Security & Privacy
3. the ability to easily find people I know without having their phone number7 -
So - I basicly have free data on facebook and messenger traffic. Is there a way I could possibly tunnel all my other traffic through facebook which would kind of give me unlimited data?1
-
Hey my bros. I’m trying to create a simple messenger bot just for fun using this tutorial:
https://medium.com/crowdbotics/...
But it seems that I’m kinda stuck with setting up the webhook on the fb page, it displays an error
“the url couldn’t be validated, callback verification failed...”
I googled for answers but it seems that it doesn’t work for me. Can you please help me? Thank you so much.4 -
Connected with a key Facebook Messenger dev on Linkedin.
Now I appear 20 times more often in searches.
Looks like my previous ~60 contacts weren't worth much in comparison. (But I still got requests from recruiters every now and then).1 -
I want to create an open source sort of clone of Facebook but privacy minded.. I deleted mine a few weeks ago because of the massive amount of datacollection. I mean, talking on messenger about shoes for example, then going on fb to see shoe commercials. I mean, fck that man.. you can change some settings but nothing in regards to this. This go beyond my limit of privacy.9
-
I wonder how happy they where at Facebook headquarter when they saw a peak of usage on messenger when WhatsApp was down.. imagine if they like it so much that they start hacking them so that WhatsApp looses it's relayability xD3
-
Are anyone familiar with the Russian medium VK, and do anyone agree that their messenger service is better than the facebook one? At least in the way you attatch images
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View