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We had a Commodore64. My dad used to be an electrical engineer and had programs on it for calculations, but sometimes I was allowed to play games on it.
When my mother passed away (late 80s, I was 7), I closed up completely. I didn't speak, locked myself into my room, skipped school to read in the library. My dad was a lovely caring man, but he was suffering from a mental disease, so he couldn't really handle the situation either.
A few weeks after the funeral, on my birthday, the C64 was set up in my bedroom, with the "programmers reference guide" on my desk. I stayed up late every night to read it and try the examples, thought about those programs while in school. I memorized the addresses of the sound and sprite buffers, learnt how programs were managed in memory and stored on the casette.
I worked on my own games, got lost in the stories I was writing, mostly scifi/fantasy RPGs. I bought 2764 eproms and soldered custom cartridges so I could store my finished work safely.
When I was 12 my dad disappeared, was found, and hospitalized with lost memory. I slipped through the cracks of child protection, felt responsible to take care of the house and pay the bills. After a year I got picked up and placed in foster care in a strict Christian family who disallowed the use of computers.
I ran away when I was 13, rented a student apartment using my orphanage checks (about €800/m), got a bunch of new and recycled computers on which I installed Debian, and learnt many new programming languages (C/C++, Haskell, JS, PHP, etc). My apartment mates joked about the 12 CRT monitors in my room, but I loved playing around with experimental networking setups. I tried to keep a low profile and attended high school, often faking my dad's signatures.
After a little over a year I was picked up by child protection again. My dad was living on his own again, partly recovered, and in front of a judge he agreed to be provisory legal guardian, despite his condition. I was ruled to be legally an adult at the age of 15, and got to keep living in the student flat (nation-wide foster parent shortage played a role).
OK, so this sounds like a sobstory. It isn't. I fondly remember my mom, my dad is doing pretty well, enjoying his old age together with an nice woman in some communal landhouse place.
I had a bit of a downturn from age 18-22 or so, lots of drugs and partying. Maybe I just needed to do that. I never finished any school (not even high school), but managed to build a relatively good career. My mom was a biochemist and left me a lot of books, and I started out as lab analyst for a pharma company, later went into phytogenetics, then aerospace (QA/NDT), and later back to pure programming again.
Computers helped me through a tough childhood.
They awakened a passion for creative writing, for math, for science as a whole. I'm a bit messed up, a bit of a survivalist, but currently quite happy and content with my life.
I try to keep reminding people around me, especially those who have just become parents, that you might feel like your kids need a perfect childhood, worrying about social development, dragging them to soccer matches and expensive schools...
But the most important part is to just love them, even if (or especially when) life is harsh and imperfect. Show them you love them with small gestures, and give their dreams the chance to flourish using any of the little resources you have available.22 -
We have a bunch of white people in human resources that are trying to hire "diverse" people because the company sets HR diversity targets. Which is an inherently racist way of hiring someone.
I am told to interview this guy who claims to have Angular experience. Before the interview I ask to see a form that he has built in Angular. He sends me a repo which is ripped off of an open source project and has the readme and git commits removed. A quick web search shows that it isn't his work. He shows up to the interview and I find out he is from a Southern African country. I deliberately ask some questions about code that I can see he didn't write that I prepared ahead of time. He lies to me and tells me all about how he wrote it which showed me that he has no idea what the code does. I tell HR they better not hire him because he was very comfortable lying to me, and I'm confident that he doesn't understand any of the code that he showed me. I do not trust this guy and would never choose to work with him. HR lady says "Ah okay."
Today he walks in with a big grin on his face. HR lady fucking hired this guy. I can see his monitors from my desk and he spent his whole first day looking at a soccer website on his second monitor. I call up HR, "Why would you even ask me to interview him if you refuse to listen to my feedback?". Lady tells me "You need to be open minded about diversity. Probably most of the things you observed were either cultural differences or language barrier." I tell her definitely not. He lied to me multiple times, and he took credit for other people's work." She tells me that they will keep an eye on me because I'm not being open to diversity.
Are you kidding me? This white lady is literally stereotyping me as a racist because I'm white.
So this fucking HR lady called me a racist because she decided to hire someone that we shouldn't trust. Then she put this asshat on my project. Now I have to be cautious about my position because HR is "watching" my racist ass. Even though I am literally the only one on the development team that is white and speaks English as my first-language. I called a team meeting before the on-boarding is over so I can tell the other developers what is happening. We restructured our code review process so that I will never give him feedback. Then when the time comes that he slips up the "diverse" developers will kick him out so I won't be reprimanded as a "racist".
This company that I work for is a special kind of stupid.34 -
continued…
I'm In Canada. A woke HR lady hires an African guy despite him plagiarizing code and lying through an interview. First day he surfs soccer websites so I confront it and HR lady basically calls me a racist and to watch my back.
A second African new-hire comes into the office today and he seems quite capable in an area of specialization for our team. So I ask if we can have him on our team because he has skills. The exec decides to look at the costing for him and goes, "HOLY SHIT WHY ARE WE PAYING ANYONE THAT MUCH?" She looks at the résumé of the new guy and finds out that he is only at intermediate level in his specialization. So I say, "It could be worse. The other guy flat out lied through his interview and he got hired anyway." I forward the emails where I recommended against hiring the other guy and why.
My exec, who is a company stakeholder, opens the pricing list for recent hires. It is obvious that if you are not not white you get paid way above market value for your skill level. Exec is pissed off on a level I never knew was possible.
We make a call from the board room only to find out that the head of HR (also an executive) is driving this. My exec tells me to give her the room. The yelling was so loud everyone could hear what was said from outside the boardroom. At one point the HR lady says, "Just because we could get them cheaper doesn't mean that we should… We pay that much because it is 'the right thing to do'." My executive goes completely silent for a few seconds then in a super aggressive way says.
"…I am going to have your FUCKING head for this. Then I will make sure that you NEVER get a job in HR again for the rest of my natural life. ONLY ONE of us will survive this. YOU are the one pissing away profit. So get ready because I'm going to drown you and your team like a bag full of unwanted puppies." Then she hung up the Polycom. She came out about a minute later and kicked the office manager out of his office and sat there all day making calls and sending emails.
https://devrant.com/rants/2337768/...33 -
I tutor people who want to program, I don't ask anything for it, money wise, if they use my house as a learning space I may ask them to bring cookies or a pizza or something but on the whole I do it to help others learn who want to.
Now this in of itself is perfectly fine, I don't get financially screwed over or anything, but...
Fuck me if some students are horrendous!
To the best of my knowledge I've agreed to work with and help seven individuals, four female three male.
One male student never once began the study work and just repeatedly offered excuses and wanted to talk to me about how he'd screwed his life up. I mean that's unfortunate, but I'm not a people person, I don't really feel emotionally engaged with a relative stranger who quite openly admits they got addicted to porn and wasted two years furiously masturbating. Which is WAY more than I needed to know and made me more than a little uncomfortable. Ultimately lack of actually even starting the basic exercises I blocked him and stopped wasting my time.
The second dude I spoke to for exactly 48 hours before he wanted to smash my face in. Now, he was Indian (the geographical India not native American) and this is important, because he was a friend of a friend and I agreed to tutor however he was more interested in telling me how the Brits owed India reparations, which, being Scottish, I felt if anyone was owed reparations first, it's us, which he didn't take kindly too (something about the phrase "we've been fucked, longer and harder than you ever were and we don't demand reparations" didn't endear me any).
But again likewise, he wanted to talk about politics and proving he was a someone "I've been threatened in very real world ways, by some really bad people" didn't impress me, and I demonstrated my disinterest with "and I was set on fire once cos the college kids didn't like me".
He wouldn't practice, was constantly interested in bigging himself up, he was aggressive, confrontational and condescending, so I told him he was a dick, I wasn't interested in helping him and he can help himself. Last I heard he wasn't in the country anymore.
The third guy... Absolute waste of time... We were in the same computer science college class, I went to university and did more, he dossed around and a few years later went into design and found he wanted to program and got in touch. He completes the code schools courses and understandably doesn't quite know what to do next, so he asks a few questions and declares he wants to learn full stack web development. Quickly. I say it isn't easy especially if it's your first real project but if one is determined, it isn't impossible.
This guy was 30 and wanted to retire at 35 and so time was of the essence. I'm up for the challenge, and so because he only knows JavaScript (including prototypes, callbacks and events) I tell him about nodejs and explain that it's a little more tricky but it does mean he can learn all the basis without learning another language.
About six months of sporadic development where I send him exercises and quizzes to try, more often than not he'd answer with "I don't know" after me repeatedly saying "if you don't know, type the program out and study what it does then try to see why!".
The excuses became predicable, couldn't study, playing soccer, couldn't study watching bake off, couldn't study, couldn't study.
Eventually he buys a book on the mean stack and I agree to go through it chapter by chapter with him, and on one particular chapter where I'm trying to help him, he keeps interrupting with "so could I apply for this job?" "What about this job?" And it's getting frustrating cos I'm trying to hold my code and his in my head and come up with a real world analogy to explain a concept and he finally interrupts with "would your company take me on?"
I'm done.
"Do you want the honest unabridged truth?"
"Yes, I'd really like to know what I need to do!"
"You are learning JavaScript, and trying to also learn computer science techniques and terms all at the same time. Frankly, to the industry, you know nothing. A C developer with a PHD was interviewed and upon leaving the office was made a laughing stock of because he seemed to not know the difference between pass by value and pass by reference. You'd be laughed right out the building because as of right now, you know nothing. You don't. Now how you respond to this critique is your choice, you can either admit what I'm saying is true and put some fucking effort into studying cos I'm putting more effort into teaching than you are studying, or you can take what I'm saying as a full on attack, give up and think of me as the bad guy. Your choice, if you are ready to really study, you can text me in the morning for now I'm going to bed."
The next day I got a text "I was thinking about what you said and... I think I'm not going to bother with this full stack stuff it's just too hard, thought you should know."23 -
In the school we were using slow PCs for learning MS Office things. Every single step we did took ages. There were one guy who was an informatics antitalent: he never were able to work fluently with any electric machine from a microwave to anything smarter. In addition he was a semi-pro athlete and he had some kind of anger management issues, sometimes yelled to the teacher after a bad mark or with us when we lost a in-school soccer match. You know, he was that competitive guy.
One time on computer science class he was very focused. He tried to follow every steps precisly and his machine seemed faster than as usual. He felt like he broke some kind of wall which was between he and the machine.
When we had a break and he went out we tought that we should make a prank. We made a fullscreen screenshot from the desktop and set it as the wallpaper, then killed explorer.exe. As a result the icons and the start menu was only on the screen by the wallpaper.
When he came back he said that there were some bad news from some of the sport event he wanted to go, so he was angry. But then... You know the gif when the guy first hit the side of the screen multiple times then throws out the machine? Yeah, we saw that in real life, but not in that office. First he was just clicking everywhere, we just watched how his face just transforming. Then he started to talk just in himself as the machine could understand. After two minutes he just yelled to the machine why did it freeze, but the last drop was when the teacher said: You'll have to send me your work and it will be marked. In this moment he was just roard a huge and droped the CRT out of the window from the second floor. Luckily the window was facing to a brushy part of the garden so no one was there. He just standed there, looked out to the CRT sitting in a brush for a while, then he turned to the teacher as "Mr, I think something is wrong with my machine"3 -
1.
Interviewer
how many soccer balls can fit in your house
Me i dont play soccer
---------
2.
Interviewer
.....
Me
........
Interviewer
...(looks at me)
Me
.......
Interviewer
(staring me)
Me
Hi!
Interviewer
Oh yeah. So....14 -
We have this Lukas Podolski paper display someone swiped at a soccer club store. So we hide the fucker in offices, bathroom stalls or behind doors and people get scared shitless.
4 -
Whenever I Google Ajax it gives me search results related to the Amsterdam soccer team called ajax. I mean really Google, I search for webdev related stuff all day and you give me this...7
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Occasionally i got my badass moments at work.
But that one bachelor party in Barcelona where about 10 of my pals and I came back from a soccer match topped it all.
As we got back to our AirBnB apartment i went to the bathroom and scanned the WiFi.
I found the IP address of the bachelor's party man of honor and MITM attacked him.
So each image from any http server would automatically get swapped with a picture i took just an hour ago from the game we were at.
5 minutes later i hear the screams "OMFG WE ARE ALL ON THE NEWS GUYS!!!" and "LOOK AT SPORTS SITE X AND NEWS SITE Y!!"
The saga continued with some cheers in the beginning and some confusion, but ended when another friend rat on me..
But boy it was glorious 😂 -
So, I'm living in a completely computer illiterate family and I was called to help my father with something on a Laptop where he wanted to stream his favorite Soccer-Club.
So I walk up to him, ask what's wrong, and he says (roughly translated from German) "That thing doesn't work!"
And I'm just like ((Wat u mean))
So I ask him to explain the problem in detail.
Apparently his streaming service wasn't loading his stream.
Well damn I say, try searching for the problem on Google and find a solution.
((But no no no imma just call my son for everything that's freaking wrong with tech, he sure knows what to do))
As I'm not that experienced with Webservices as of yet, I had no idea what to do.
He was fucking furious!
"You always act like you know everything about tech and programs and stuff and can't even help me with fixing this Stream-Thing?!"
I responded simply by saying "It's not my area of work!"
Seems like he didn't know the difference between TECH-JESUS and hobbyist software engineer.
So I stand there and he just goes on one of these typical boomer tech illiterate rants, of which I'm sure you can imagine enough being on this platform.
tl;Dr; It pisses me of big time how people are not even trying to understand technology, nor attempting to help themselves by eG. Googling some simple problem, but rather just ask around and then being pissed off if the asked person just doesn't know the answer or can't help!5 -
Yes I am a developer and I am good at soccer, come on you naive idiot standing in front of me in complete awe, the days where these things were mutually exclusive are long gone! 🤓⚽️7
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!dev
Fuck my broken brain. I’ve been taking various meds for depression/ptsd for 11 years, and just when you think you’re making progress it comes back and takes a nice big shit in your slippers.
I Referee grass roots football (soccer) on the weekends, and I’ve been out with an injury. I should have been reffing a women’s game this afternoon but my damaged brain has other ideas.
Sometimes I just want to scream fuck it all and move to the woods to become a full time spoon whittler7 -
Had to program an entire ecommerce site for both a city soccer league and baseball league. Around 50 teams each. No planning or anything beforehand. They gave me around 4 days to complete the project. Once everything was squared away, of course they complained and said that half of the teams were wrong. So I had to stay until around 11 pm in the office fixing everything that Friday night. Of course everyone said it was my fault. I blame it on the lack of planning.4
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I just joined a team that is tasked with developing a robot that plays soccer. It was a lot of fun until I found out that someone in the team has been developing a full framework / rtos from scratch because existing rtos solutions were "not good enough".
I tried blinking a led with it today and found more bugs than I can count...
Oh, and there are no docs...8 -
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
That rare day when you lay off coding for a day, got a shave, watched football (soccer), had a nice meal, watched some movies and slept EARLY....
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Do you know what angers me more than anything else ?
Wasted potential. Thats what. That there are people out there that look at their bank account and see a large number and spend large amounts of time finding ways to push people down during sensitive times where they could be learning and growing and have the right attitude and energy to do so, just because it makes their horrible selves feel secure knowing how 'superior' daddy made them, not to mention likely factories filled with half naked Chinese kids sewing shoes and soccer balls and separating out precious metals with blow torches.
I cannot help but think about this again as I'm frustrated that I had to relearn something just now which created more questions which I once everything is dashed to pieces again I won't think to or know to look into, if the information even exists, all so some easily duped younger people can form the next generation of well... us, and fall for the same tricks while I feel like I'm falling behind.4 -
Sorry, I have to say this. I get patriotic at times.
Asian Cup 2019, we Vietnam had made it to Quarter Finals after defeating Jordani in the penalty shots.
I'm happy. It's stressful watching the shots. It's stressful watching the match but I'm happy. We're happy.
And now back to homework.2 -
Free advise to to all the goal keepers at the Russia world cup2018; don't commit too soon!, remember, you're in production...
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One elementary school teacher of mine once said:
"In a football (soccer) game, the goalkeeper can be a very good player. He can make some incredible saves during the match. If he concedes a howler, people will remember him by that.
The forward can do everything wrong during the match. If he manages to score one goal, this is sufficient to justify why he was playing."
A team without a forward will have a harder time trying to win, but it is possible. A team without a goalkeeper will certainly lose. If you think into it, it's possible to conclude that the goalkeeper is more important than the forward. But football isn't rational; it isn't about fairness or importance. It is about emotions: forwards get all the visibility and fame because they get to do the "fun" part of the job.
Why people subject themselves to be goalkeepers then? Well, not every one is the same. In this game, if you, for any reason, aren't good playing with your foot, and still want to play, there is only one position you can take.
I think about this all the time because feel that in our work environment, managers are forwards and devs/scientists/technicians are goalkeepers.8 -
While in Mec engineering university program I was in a robocup team (small robots playing soccer against an other team of robots using AI).
I designed the mechanical structure of the robots. After 2 years of development (while all those years our goal was to participate in the upcoming international tournament) we realized the software part of the project was mismanaged and really far behind. I couldn't accept that and learned how to code over night. Couldn't let the project I put so much time in die because of someone else.
With the help of others that came from other backgrounds than software, we made it the to tournament and the following two others after this one.
Now my job involves programming more than standard mec engineering. It also pushed me to do a masters in robotics in which I developed my coding skills even more.3 -
I don't think I've been more excited about anything than my very first application.
This was when I was just starting out with programming. I had chosen C++ as my first programming language.
A friend and I'd written a simple application to fetch XML data from a sports data server, parse it and display our favourite football (soccer, for Americans) team's fixtures and results on a GUI.
We called it Sportify. -
hey, y'all android users listen up. i wanna start a new project but im not sure if it's gonna be useful. essentially, i want to make a scripting language to program people's phone, so devs or android super users can make the most of their phone. users will be able to create, share, and schedule execution of the scripts all from the app. is it a good idea? is their something like it?
example of a use i personally would have: there is a set date for when the soccer league schedule for the youth league i play in is supposed to be released online. however, the set date is never met, and it is usually a few days late. in this case, i could make a script to request to the website with the schedule and see if the html changed from last time, and if so it would send me a notif saying "check for schedule" or something similar.
then, i could schedule it to run every five minutes, and i wouldnt have to check manually.
its essentially bash automation for your phone.
good idea?8 -
When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...
You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?
That. I felt like doing that.
I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.
I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.
1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.
So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.
I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.
I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.
I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.
It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.
Excuse my language, but:
Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.
If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:
May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.
I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.3 -
I love sports and code. I dreamt of being able to teach my boy how to play ball but after a few years of TBall and Soccer, I accepted that he did not like sports. I didn't want to be the kind of father that forces their child to play when they don't want to so I let the dream go. Besides, he'll be a coder like his old man right? He's 10 now, so I tried to start getting him into working on some Minecraft mods. He loves Minecraft... but no interest in code. 😭4
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Sooo... I have an Haskell exam tomorrow and I thought I had the evening to review some stuff and try to code a little bit more. Guess I was wrong since I had to take my sister to her soccer practice at 7 pm and am arriving just now home.
Well, I guess if I fail, I'll just blame it on her.
That's what siblings are for, right?5 -
TFW you realize you only have 2 days left until your school-leaving exams.... I'm so fucking nervous right now... Aaand apparently our city has won a soccer match, I can pretty much hear everything that's happening at the stadium... there also seems to be some big rap concert somewhere in the city... I can't open the window otherwise I'll have to listen to all that noise.5
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That's like saying if there's a soccer (or football for non-Americans) game that's 3-2, then there's 6 goals scored. Step up your math google.
16 -
Things forced upon me throughout my life that I hate with a passion.
Football (I mean soccer)
The (fucking) Beatles
Religion
Microsoft
JavaScript
Most Clients
Things I can't get enough of (in no particular order)
Asian Food
Dirty Loops
Sleep
Playing Bass
Travel
Time1 -
A telecom engineering friend of mine asked me if I wanted Backnowýk — a strange brew made of cherries and strawberries that, if you brew it just right, is both lemonade and yogurt, depending on how you hold a glass of it. Straight angle relative to the floor makes it yogurt, but change that angle, and it fades into being lemonade. But if you don't drink it fast enough, it turns into blood.
So, I drank it and gained an ability to slam dunk leather balls, and since then, for every football game I'm in (I don't know how to play soccer though), there is a basketball hoop just for me, and when I dunk, my team scores.
Went for a walk. Met the lead singer of Death Grips — MC Ride. He wrote me a gay ballad:
🎵 Please take me to recording studio Portland🎵
🎵 Please take me to the recording place digital🎵
🎵 Aniverse🎵
🎵 Aniverse🎵
🎵 [DREAM FRAGMENT LOST]-verse🎵 -
Football/futbol/soccer analogy:
Frontend engineers are like strikers - you see their work, good and bad, and you don’t notice how many contribute to their success. Backend engineers are like goalies - you only really notice when they do a _bad_ job and don’t see how many things contribute to their failure.5 -
Related to queueing theory...
Suburban traffic at a stop lights has developed a tendency to include invisible cars.
You can see where these invisible cars are by the gap between the front bumper of one car the back bumper of the next. Sometimes there is an invisible motorcycle, sometimes there is an invisible semi-tractor trailer. It is becoming an epidemic.
The dumbasses in traffic who do this are usually texting behind the wheel while stopped and they are not always Buffy the ding dong cheerleader nor Sally the Soccer Mom... Suits too... It seems to have gotten worse with pot becoming legal I just realized...
But to the point, you can tell these people would never be able to comprehend software engineering... they have no idea that for every invisible car in front of every dumbass driver like them, there is a real car way back that has to sit through two lights. (side effects of bugs and inefficient hash tables) Worse, these dumbasses do this in the left lane so it keeps a host of others from being able to get past their big fat ass into the turn lane.
Simple queueing theory escapes these people.
Computers will someday take their jobs.
Sometimes it motivates me to code faster... "There goes your job beotch! Get used to mac and cheese..."
But once in a while I am in a position to be able to be stopped at a light, and note that next to me is one of those "gapsters" and then pull my car (or motorcycle some days) into that invisible car's spot. The gapster gets so mad sometimes... >:-> so much satisfaction I almost feel guilty...
Queueing theory rules... LOL -
It's been a long time since I was active but I felt like ranting about my shit college today.
Everything is so slow and dumb there. I'm in year 2 and we started learning JavaScript in class and our teacher said: "Here's a picture of a soccer score table. Now try to remake it with HTML and CSS!". WTF? I thought we were supposed to learn JavaScript?
This wasn't the first case of stupidity in my college (more stories coming soon).3 -
As a frontend developer, I started learn unreal engine 4 in my spare time instead of build next js framework. I found C++ is very difficult in unreal project, even with the experience of building deep neural network for robot soccer back in university🤔
11 -
Rather than finishing my Projekt had some beer (Becks) and watched soccer. Still exhausting as fuck :/2
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!Rant
TL;DR - Getting married can lead to installing life malware.
MARRIAGE SOFTWARE....
A young husband wrote this to a Systems Analyst -
(Marriage Software Div);
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Golf 5.3" no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected.
Attempting to operate selected "Soccer 6.3" always fails and "Shopping 7.1" runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
.
I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0", but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?
.... The Systems Analyst replied:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program.
Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.
Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See Manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can.
When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.
It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\ KISSES 6.0" or "TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 10.0" or "even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if Child processing has already started).
DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours,"
Systems Analyst.
-----------------------------------------------
I'm not sure if this is a repost - if it is I apologise, but it's too good not to share.1 -
Oh china, you always know how to snap me out of long stints of mundane and/or annoying, chore-esq work.
//...and letting me excuse a 10min, otherwise purely wrong procrastination down a current political rabbit hole
I gotta say, at least in china they are bold enough to put their image and identity on whatever they make... but in that 'im selling pseudo-sex, not because im sexy--just the opposite, so you know I relate' way.
Side note: i got an automated spam call survey yesterday*... it ot got to the 1st (of claimed 3) question.. which had a surprising amount of actual reiterations before looping... it was determined to get opinions(and totally incept the lemmings, soccer moms and politically ignorant into their stance, plus intense rage/disgust/dreams of standing on a soap box and fighting about this new issue they were totally unaware of.)... about this actively serving, politician's demand that china sell tiktok or totally stop allowing any operations/use on american soil... because of the heavily implied heinous nature of controlling and twisting society via media to it's explicitly declared communism... even directly called china, as a whole, communists, with impressive dramatics (and i coached public speaking hs and college kids then over a decade of business consulting, typically involving coaching vocals and implicit vocab)
I actually listened to it because it's what a typical subject, brought out of the koolaid fog, would view as ridiculously ironic(assuming they knew the actual, and therefore inherently ironic, def if irony... most dont. It's disturbing)... but it you have decent common sense, and dont emotionally view your entirety as wrong/broken/needing to be fixed in a cult-like manner, it's the oposite of irony. History of/and politics pull this crap all the time. It still works.
It reminds me of how my moniker, awesomeest, came about. In 3rd grade i realised that even adults, knowing they were chatting with an 8yr old, even if they knew/used the correct spelling of a, less common, term... if i misspelled it as if i thought it was right, theyd actually change their spelling to match (in perpetuity) albeit my vocab was easily high school level by then...likely at least in part to my flawless(aka blind/ignorant) demeanor of confidence that whatever i said/thought was totally correct, as a matter of fact. Not like the insecure ppl trying to prove something
I used to find it so comical... now it's just sad.
This bs automated political spam/manipulation is the modern version of i remember of kids farting in the late 90s... the culprit quickly accusing someone else of their offense, but even extra immature kids 25+ yrs ago figured that out... and even made the retort a catchy rhyme..."the one who smelt it, dealt it"
*i basically programmed in a counter attack/something akin to immature passive aggressive ' who"s really the one wasting the other's time and resources now?!? Ha!' ...odd numbers automatically go into a sort of echo chamber instead of ringing, with a manual escape to actually ringing/calling prompt built in.
I can listen in at any time without it having any effecf/sound too.
I'm curious if anyone participates in these minor acts of terrorism to complete an unrequested, intrusive, and human-less format of a proclaimed opinion poll? And if you do, are you honest? Why do you do it?
Annoyance at spam aside... the real victim I mentally mourn, and view it's method of demise akin to a cardinal sin (assuming religion...blah blah)... is the data! I <3 data... good, unobscured, not contrived, simple, pure, raw data... killed before its birth :'(
5 -
!rant
What movies/reality around me tells about free time:
- the "grand parents" generation (people who are in there 70-80s now) used to go out hang in tea shops, bars, parks,churches , wander in fields, chop woods in their leisure time in their 40s
The "parents" generation (people who are in their 30-40s now) were more into sports and would go for basketball , soccer , cricket for leisure time and later transitioned to playing board games/video games /xbox-PlayStation stuff/comics In their leisure time
The "our generation"(people who are between 18-30 now) are/would be more into playing mobile games and watching anime/web series/movies/weird porn and scrolling social media feed as leisure time in our 40s
( I have taken 40s as a criteria because i am guessing that as a standard age where you are "settled" and have things figured out)
Is this how the pattern is going? And isn't it sad that we are Going from doing stuff that's fun and making you street smart to doing stuff that's useless , time wasting and a little depressing ?5 -
Anyone interested in a Matchmaking and -rating system for scorebased games (eg soccer) that runs better than Rocket League's?
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Today my son broke an ankle during soccer practice, told him to walk it off, fucking wimp. My wife called me insensitive, but if he was never aware of the fact he truly broke it, we would've been fine and saved some money.
Gratefully I finished my project for work and now I'm getting a promotion!!! It can only go up from here.4
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