Just read a comment on rant that stated "You’d be surprised as how disgusting people are especially in the work setting.". In regard to bathrooms. This reads true, for my current place of work

I was about to reply to that, but I thought this is worthy of a rant of its own. Allow me to quote some emails...

"We have had reports of excrement being left on toilet seats, which surely could be seen by the person responsible before they left the cubicle. "

"very poor toilet hygiene in some the ladies toilets.

Firstly, someone person should I say.... has used a toilet brush to clear a blockage in the Ladies loo nearest [removed]. They obviously couldn't unblock the toilet due to the density of the blockage and therefore.. returned the brush to it's holder full of the blockage!! "

"The phantom "snot" wiper is back and is using the back of the toilet door nearest the [removed] as a tissue! Again.. the poor Cleaner has had to clean this up... "

"Toilet paper being put in the Urinal blocking the system in [removed] and faeces being left on the toilet floor in [removed]. This goes without saying that this can't go on and it's not the cleaners job to be cleaning such messes! "

Its ever worse in our other office that contains a call centre. A lady was fired for leaving shit in the stairwells on multiple instances. She had been fired from her last role for the same thing.

There were also reports of subway subs been left in the toilet bowl.

You also find the most curious items in the waste bins (they have no lid, we're not search through them - just to make that clear) everything from half eaten sandwiches to watermelon.

I started recently working for a big company, and when I say big, I mean really BIG.

Well, my colleagues are from different parts of the world, of course some names are harder to pronounce, so, let's say your name is 'Yagarishmakeshin', well, sometimes is easier(and I used to think friendly) to call you by a shorter name, for this example let's say 'Yag', you know, like Apu form the Simpsons, which is normal I think, people use to call me always by shorter names too and is fine.

Well, yesterday I received a complain from HR saying some people complain about this, it turns out this is offensive or degradating; I was also warned about not calling a girl 'girl', example:

- random girl at my team - So, I created this routine which is very effective and provides good performance
- me - Awesome girl, very cool

Well, Someone complain I call them 'girl' and is not fine.

I cannot tell you how frustrated I feel about this, is like, if you feel uncomfortable with a short name, just say it to me, something like 'Hey I prefer you call me by my full name' or something like that, but nah, you prefer to raise a complain like if I were a fucking predator or something; Also, I cannot retaliate or mention the topic, I need to change and pretend nothing happened.

Fuck you big corporations, and fuck you skinny stupid bitch

Mother of fucking god, its astonishing to see how difficult it is to entirely block out Google from your computer.

Actually, its very easy and I wrote something to automate that but the second you block out that goddamned mass surveillance network, every login page of every goddamn site with a fucking recaptcha just doesn't work anymore.

Google, go fuck yourself and with that, every motherfucking site which uses recaptcha.

Back-end developer doing Front-end be like

You know you're old, when you're shopping for a chair online for your back pain :)

One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

... One month later ...

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"

Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"

... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔

Worst busywork?
Having a graphic designer on the team that doesn't know development.

Gods, the amount of tweaks and adjustments they come up with.

Front End programming is the worst of all worlds.

I am a Full Stack developer that during every interview says "i can do front end stuff if needed". Something gets lost in translation and becomes "I do only front end stuff".

I don't mind front end development, but i hate urgent nitpicking that happens every time. Everyone else on the team works by regular tasks and deliveries (sprints and release dates), but my work consists of being the brush of the creative mind of someone else, that could not figure out how to make a good design before sending it out to me.

I am not a designer, a designer job is a creative one, i am just a brush that the team uses to complain why this button looks wrong on this not designed platform.

Client: I know other developers who would do the same and much more for much less.

Me: I am glad you chose to work with me instead.

Client: I mean I like the site but I still feel that the development process has taken longer than it should have.

Me: Well, it is within the time frame I had said I would be able to have the first version of the site running. I have also implemented quite a number of new features that we had not earlier agreed on.

Client: I think I'll pay (quotes less than 20% of the total cost ).

Me: That is less than the amount that you were to pay as the first instalment ages ago!!

Client: I mean I like the site, but I think it still lacks the X factor. I want ...*goes on to mention other features*

Me: While I take pride in making my clients happy, I believe this process should be mutually beneficial. You are constantly making requests for new features but are making no attempts to meet your end of the agreement.

Client: FYI, there are people begging me for this job.

Me: *Takes down the site.* I wish you all the best, I hope the other developers are up to your standards.

Client: *Literally ignoring the fact that I just quit*. I want (makes more requests).

I am simply going to ignore this one!!!!

Looks like the cheapest server package in namecheap

How people use your app.

Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

**My Resume** : Worked with JavaScript and .NET for the last 3 years ... have an Associates degree...more things

**Recruiter**
You look like you'd be a great fit for this position. We require a Bachelors degree, but we're willing to take 4 years progressive experience in lieu of each year of schooling.

**First**
4 YEARS of experience for EACH YEAR of school?

**Me**
I guess basic reading and math aren't required to be a job recruiter? Man...Only 5 more years and I'll be able to see how my skills as a developer with 8 years of professional experience will go over as an Entry level developer!

Basically most of the python scripts I've seen.

Has anyone had an actual career (something you could support yourself/family on for the span of your life) before development? Curious as to how people got into development.

An example is I have a colleague who was some sort of construction supervisor and managed to get into development someone.

Websites that send a mail to confirm me unsubscribing from their mails need a special place in hell.

Hey, how about we boost our dev team morale by giving them this cool project instead of these usual crud bullshit they deal everyday?

Nooo, let's pay some fucking amateur agency 5x they wage during 4 months to do it like a low IQ noob and expect them to maintain it later.

You went through .dll hell and survived the .jar hell.
Now you're developing in AngularJS... welcome to scope hell

Spend quite a while at work trying to get two divs inside a centered div next to each other and especially get them the same height as the parent div.

Got it working after numerous tries, was going to take the code home to continue.

Forgot to take the code home, have to start over again and I hardly understand CSS 😥

Fuck me. (Writing a new service thingy by the way)

Every Project Manager/Boss Ever!

me: *tries to find a file in system*
Ubuntu: No problem bud, here's a thing which you're looking for
macOS: Sure thing chief, here's your stuff.
Windows 10: Here's a random thing I found on the Internet which is totally irrelavent. By the way, I see you're using Chrome, would you like to start Microsoft Edge instead? 🙃

:((((((

Never tell anybody that you know how to code...

Someone who was lazy to make changes from dev branch, making code only in production without updating dev then wanted me to merge from production to dev because he was scared ☺️

Apparently Boots in the UK is running Windows XP on their cashiers...

From the book

Refactoring JavaScript
Turning Bad Code into Good Code
Evan Burchard

HOW CONVERSATIONS ABOUT REFACTORING SHOULD GO UNTIL TESTS ARE WRITTEN
“I refactored login to take email address and username.” “No, you didn’t.”
“I’m refactoring the code to ____”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Before we can add tests, we need to refactor.” “No.”
“Refactoring th–”
“No.”
“Refa–” “No.”

W00T!
Company bonus was announced. Not “car buying money”, but I’ll take it.

It’s Deeper Than You Can Imagine

My small Dev hub.

RANT: So in school, we have to program using some kind of pseudocode.
Today we wrote an algorithm from a previous exam. Apparently, they don't give you a mark if you get the Array.length(). To receive the mark you have to have to use a variable.
WHICH MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME.
My teacher said it would even be ok to define a variable like Variable = Array.length. THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE