Wanna mess with users? Take

“OK” and “Cancel”.

You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?

“NO” and “Confirm”.

Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.

Oh my dog, why?

《WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A DEVELOPER IN ZIMBABWE》

Working on my project and suddenly power cuts off

Laptop doesn't have a battery
So it instantly shuts down

Ohh snap !!!

Luckily I've set my Vs Code to auto save every 3seconds

[Sigh..]

Webpage: It looks like you are using ad-blocker
Me: It looks like you are getting closed biatch.

Stuck in the washing machine.
Who should I call?

A) Step Bro
B) Uncle
C) Stepdad

For the last time, git is not GitHub.

Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?

Me: You mean op top of the navigation?

Designer: Yeah.

Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.

Designer: Cool, let me know when done!

Me: ....

Me: I am done.

Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.

Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.

I save about 2h commute (so 4h/day) which is nice.

Also not constantly getting interrupted by colleagues

Want one

Last week
Customer: I want <totally useless app idea that already exists>, how long will it take to build it?
Me: I think such an app already exists, but according to your requirements I believe we could finish it around May 6th.
Customer: OK, but our app will be so much better.
-finishes meeting and signs contract-

Monday
Customer: will the app be done soon?
Me: as we discussed in the meeting last week, it won’t be done until May 6th.

Tuesday
Customer: will the app be done soon, when will it be in the app stores?
Me: As I explained yesterday, it won’t be finished before May 6th.

Wtf????

Oh for Fuck's sake buddy. What makes you think you are special?

I managed to stump a real dev with my libretro issues.

Looks like I’m getting fired 😶

I sometimes correct people's PRs from under the shower or from the toilet, but my favorite place to code are in the dune forests (Netherlands).

Most unusual place would be operating room at the hospital though, getting my leg/foot bugfixed after a car accident. I asked the surgeon if it was OK if I brought my phone in, to distract myself, so I went through some code cleanup tasks.

Testing in production?
Nice.
And that is an official Samsung App.

Somebody at Samsung is testing something in production 🤭

It's "Find my mobile" which is preinstalled by default on Samsung devices

Am I the only one to HATE yml ?

Most of the code I write nowadays is for GPUs using a dialect of C. Anyways, due to the hardware of GPUs there is no convenient debugger and you can't just print to console neither.
Most bugs are solved staring at the code and using pen and paper.

I guess one could call that a quirk.

This is not fucking security, it's obscurity! What the fuck is a memorable word without any context! It drives me up the fucking wall. This doesnt help anyone it just promotes people to put silly shit like password or something so they won't forget but it just makes their account weaker.

Me (as a Senior developer): How will you solve this problem using regular expression?

Junior developer: *Explains*

Me: Good

Junior developer: I truly feel like a programmer when I code regular expressions

Me: Now, we have two problems.

Some dude's sitting next to me on the train pushing his code. Looks like he's on Arch with pure i3.

I like this guy already.

-Let's start making the game!
-Yaay
-We should focus on performance optimization!
-But we don't have anything to optimize yet..
-Performance optimization!!!

1 month later

-OK you were right, we can't focus on performance now. We need to start making this game!
-Finally!
-So we're in pre-production now, let's do some R&D!
-Awesome, I wanted to start designing our workflow for adding new content, and maybe also loca..
-NO! That's unimportant! We must do R&D!
-OK what should we Arr-and-Dee?
-Performance optimization!!!

My undeserved but high salary.

Shrank the size a logo from 794kb to 5,27kb.
This was purely done to push my ego.

Excel is another programming language, try to change my mind. 🧐

BTW today I saw a chicken taking a walk using a leash.

Nice new scrollbars feature Spotify, but

1. This song isn't 05:34 minutes long
2. That position hardly seems like 05:01/05:34
3. The point is stuck at 05:01 while the song is playing

*project manager + designer are showing new designs*

PM: so, can we get some estimates?

Devs (literally all of us): do we have a mockup for this interaction?

Designer: no.

Devs: What about that one?

Designer: not yet.

Devs: What happens when you click here? Hover there? How does this look if I select that option + this option at the same time? Does it make sense that a user can select *this* option with *that* option? They're kind of mutually exclusive.

PM: Well...

BTW: code freeze is in two weeks...

Have a Merry X-Mas, and for those that are offended by that wish ....

[Interviewer] : How would you use MySQL?

[Student] : your SQL? Can I get mine so that I can use it?

[Interviewer] * confused what to say *

Saw a question on SO... Wanted to answer... Click description image... Saw this... Left.