Details
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SkillsRuby, js
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LocationOslo
Joined devRant on 5/13/2016
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I lost a friend today😭.
He wanted to checkout my MacBook Pro, because he was thinking about buying one.
So I pulled mine out of my backpack, and turned it on.. Then windows 10 popped up!
I looked at him in shock like I just got caught watching porn. I tried to explain to him “it’s not what you think! I had to install it to use Microsoft Project!
He just looked at me in disgust, shaking his head, and walked away....34 -
Fuck those who cover their incompetence with complexity. Fuck those who fall for their shitty tricks. Fuck you for depriving me of any sense of accomplishment with overcomplicating everything to show how smart you are when you are not. Fuck you for creating a culture of overthinking egoism instead of shipping and finding out who was right. FUCK YOU IN THE ASS YOU BIKESHEDDING, MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS!4
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Me at home with my sister.
She(with water jar): Roshan, I can't open up the jar, please help me.
Me(coding): Do not disturb me!! just install Java runtime environment (JRE) and open it again.3 -
I can't wait to start my job so that I can finally start ranting about work-related things like everyone else3
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In a user-interface design meeting over a regulatory compliance implementation:
User: “We’ll need to input a city.”
Dev: “Should we validate that city against the state, zip code, and country?”
User: “You are going to make me enter all that data? Ugh…then make it a drop-down. I select the city and the state, zip code auto-fill. I don’t want to make a mistake typing any of that data in.”
Me: “I don’t think a drop-down of every city in the US is feasible.”
Manage: “Why? There cannot be that many. Drop-down is fine. What about the button? We have a few icons to choose from…”
Me: “Uh..yea…there are thousands of cities in the US. Way too much data to for anyone to realistically scroll through”
Dev: “They won’t have to scroll, I’ll filter the list when they start typing.”
Me: “That’s not really the issue and if they are typing the city anyway, just let them type it in.”
User: “What if I mistype Ch1cago? We could inadvertently be out of compliance. The system should never open the company up for federal lawsuits”
Me: “If we’re hiring individuals responsible for legal compliance who can’t spell Chicago, we should be sued by the federal government. We should validate the data the best we can, but it is ultimately your department’s responsibility for data accuracy.”
Manager: “Now now…it’s all our responsibility. What is wrong with a few thousand item drop-down?”
Me: “Um, memory, network bandwidth, database storage, who maintains this list of cities? A lot of time and resources could be saved by simply paying attention.”
Manager: “Memory? Well, memory is cheap. If the workstation needs more memory, we’ll add more”
Dev: “Creating a drop-down is easy and selecting thousands of rows from the database should be fast enough. If the selection is slow, I’ll put it in a thread.”
DBA: “Table won’t be that big and won’t take up much disk space. We’ll need to setup stored procedures, and data import jobs from somewhere to maintain the data. New cities, name changes, ect. ”
Manager: “And if the network starts becoming too slow, we’ll have the Networking dept. open up the valves.”
Me: “Am I the only one seeing all the moving parts we’re introducing just to keep someone from misspelling ‘Chicago’? I’ll admit I’m wrong or maybe I’m not looking at the problem correctly. The point of redesigning the compliance system is to make it simpler, not more complex.”
Manager: “I’m missing the point to why we’re still talking about this. Decision has been made. Drop-down of all cities in the US. Moving on to the button’s icon ..”
Me: “Where is the list of cities going to come from?”
<few seconds of silence>
Dev: “Post office I guess.”
Me: “You guess?…OK…Who is going to manage this list of cities? The manager responsible for regulations?”
User: “Thousands of cities? Oh no …no one is our area has time for that. The system should do it”
Me: “OK, the system. That falls on the DBA. Are you going to be responsible for keeping the data accurate? What is going to audit the cities to make sure the names are properly named and associated with the correct state?”
DBA: “Uh..I don’t know…um…I can set up a job to run every night”
Me: “A job to do what? Validate the data against what?”
Manager: “Do you have a point? No one said it would be easy and all of those details can be answered later.”
Me: “Almost done, and this should be easy. How many cities do we currently have to maintain compliance?”
User: “Maybe 4 or 5. Not many. Regulations are mostly on a state level.”
Me: “When was the last time we created a new city compliance?”
User: “Maybe, 8 years ago. It was before I started.”
Me: “So we’re creating all this complexity for data that, realistically, probably won’t ever change?”
User: “Oh crap, you’re right. What the hell was I thinking…Scratch the drop-down idea. I doubt we’re have a new city regulation anytime soon and how hard is it to type in a city?”
Manager: “OK, are we done wasting everyone’s time on this? No drop-down of cities...next …Let’s get back to the button’s icon …”
Simplicity 1, complexity 0.16 -
When new junior front-end tells you he doesn't need to know javascript since he already knows angular.7
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Design team constantly needs help fixing bad commits and merges. (can't use git after using it for 3 years...) And boss wants to know why the ticket is falling behind.
After explaining I'm pretty much told that assisting other teammates is part of the job but I'm being paid to write code and need to stay late.... this is while I'm hitting a 10 hour workday already (skipping lunch). And btw, we aren't doing reviews this year because the business made some bad decisions recently and raises aren't in the budget.7 -
Just had a customer warn me he has "made" a lot of people, but also "broken" a lot of people... Okay then!5
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I always hear "its impossible to talk to tech people, its like they're from another planet". Well get used to it, cuz the nerds shall inherit the earth!!2
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how i feel when coding with normal programming languages:
could you show me this text on screen please?
how i feel when coding with SQL:
GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU HAVE. YOU PIECE OF SHIT.1 -
"When you have a problem you can't solve, just google it. If you don't find another person that has encountered the same problem/error as you, you're doing something wrong."
- Software Engineering teacher, 201614 -
omg this is not what the meetings are about!!!!! keep dumbass questions to yourself until the q/a period...
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I'm a newbie when it comes to programming. The thing I like about devRant is that I'm learning how not to be "that guy" from everyone's complaints.
Here's to devRant teaching us newbs how to not make as much of a mess of things.8 -
When "rm -Rf node_modules ; npm install " fixes things more often than it should. It's almost like "have you tried rebooting?"