Today, a team mate has sent me this picture: he found this Olivetti in the street, near a trash bin. He will take it to the office next Monday so we are going to troll other team mates with this new and fantastic mechanical keyboard!!

Hi, I'm new to devRant. That's perfect because I love to rant about everything.

So, let this be my first rant:

Apache Velocity + last minute rush + heatwave - climatisation = Hello Migraine my old friend...

How do you guys manage your time? Do programmers really have a life?

It hurts me when my team knowingly deploys bugs to production. 😢

Simple!

Be socially awkward and not have a social life

You know you're in for a difficult time when the answer on stack overflow has a code area with a scrollbar.

Me to QA: Just Why ??

Strory time!

I'm drunk!

Well, I guess, it's not really a true social media like Facebook, but it's a thing..

When you FINALLY manage to reproduce that bug that's been hunting you for 4 FUCKING MONTHS

I see your cult of pink and raise you my clan: the blue leviathans. Dedicated to all the lost children of the blue.

*Insert clanlogo.png*

Programmers can understand this easily ..

programer 😜😜

Portugal vs Spain... I just slowly closed my laptop. Heading to the fridge...

I've spent several long nights and even pulled all nighters debugging issues patiently. Even the most frustrating and ugly bugs, I've dealt with calmly for hours.
But this. Numbering fucking lists in Word. Why the fuck is this fucking crap piece of software trying to teach me how to fucking count? For fuck's sake, when I'm on level 2 of a list and I say I want 4.1, I mean fucking four fucking point in between and a fucking one. I've been screaming and pulling out clunks of hair for the past half an hour now before it decided to just work.

And now, towards the end of the report, all of a sudden it just decided to change the dictionary language to fucking French! Fuck you, Word!

I just solved a math issue I came up with for no reason !

CPU is just a Rock.

I never knew that I was a good mentor at SQL , specially at PL/SQL.

I gave a task to a new member of my team, to fill 5 tables with data from other 15 tables.

I informed him well about data table info and structure. He spended about 3 days to create 25 different queries in order to fill 5 tables.

After I saw the 25 queries, I told him, that he could do it with 1 main query and 5 insert statements.

So I spended 1 hour of training, in order to build,run and explain how to create the best sql statements for this task.

(First 5 minutes)
It was looking so simple at the beginning from starting with 1 simple join, after some steps he lost my actions.

(Rest 55 minutes)
I was explained the sql statements I 've created and how Oracle works.

Now , every time he meets me, he feels so thankful for learning him all those Oracle sql tips in 1 hour.

Now he is working only with big data and he loves the sql.

When someone asks me answer in exams.

What is block chain? I can't find any simple explanation

Nugget

I was assigned to be a mentor for the first time in my 23 years of existence. She was a junior.

Turned out she had more knowledge and coding experience than me. So I could not mentor her.

Assembly language may be