This is the first time an IDE has apologized to me.
PS: Dev notes, crash reports etc are excluded. This is the IDE saying sorry I can't do it, no matter what.

Turn your usual habit into something that everyone praises

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

I don't understand why so many people fight this war of tabs vs spaces. My colleagues elegantly solved the problem just not using indentation at all

I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my salary slip..They removed it from my computer immediately..

I wanna cry.

Well yeah. He is right!

Just saw a variable in C named like this:

long time_ago; //in a galaxy far away

I laughed no stop.

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

For the last time, git is not GitHub.

Client presentation. Analyst is working from home. She stands up for a split second and reveals she is not wearing pants.

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

"Don't learn Frameworks, learn techniques."

the fuck is this shit

>you love Google
>you're writing a CV
>you have big ego
>your CV looks like that one
>you're probably me

BLOCKCHAIN?

Reality of colleges(atleast in mumbai university)

I sit in class for attendance

Then I go home and teach myself

> Receive sudden phone call in the middle of the night
> Check caller, unknown number
> "Either something bad happened or it's something urgent. I'd better answer."
> "Hello?"
> Friend of friend of friend says he updated his gpu drivers and now has some random fps drops.
> I was in a good mood so I agreed to help him over teamviewer, even though I don't know him.
> Downgrading to an older version of nvidia driver seemed to have fixed the drops.
> 5 minutes later, he calls again. His headset is not working properly.
> Helped him fix the issue over teamviever.
> This continued for at least 2 hours, calling me every 5 minutes to install just another driver or change some random win setting. Turned out he had some retard format his pc because he thought it'd "make it go faster".
> Calls me again, this time he's pc isn't booting up at all. After 20 minutes on the phone the fucktard admits he just tried to reformat his pc because "my pc automatically installed a bad windows update" ( no, I don't understand either) but he fucked it up.
> I begin explaining him how to make a bootable usb stick, how to change the boot order etc to reinstall windows. I even suggested that I'd help him setup win/drivers after windows's done installing.
> He lets me go for about an hour explaining.
> "So that's it. When the setup is over, call me again and I'll help you install the drivers."
> "Bro this sounds complicated, why don't you come over? This won't even take you 5 minutes"

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCKING TRASH
CALL ME AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE YOUR GIGABYTE GEFORCE GTX1060 6GB UP YOUR ASS, PERPENDICULARLY

The motherfucker even called me "bro"

When you want to run something via command line in Linux but it doesn't work.

I’m Planning to try out for Google Summer of Code this year!

FUCK PEOPLE ON STACKOVERFLOW ANSWERING JAVASCRIPT QUESTIONS WITH FUCKIN JQUERY SOLUTIONS! IF I EVER WANT JQUERY I WILL TELL YA!

NOW GTFO AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!!!

I realized hacking was about being smart when at 14 i hacked into someones computer by guessing his password on the 2nd try.

The dude loved computers more than me and watched matrix all the time.

So i typed “neo”

Welcome to Windows where your pirated antivirus detects your OS is pirated 😞

No CPU case? No problem!