This is like..... Spot on. 😂

After a not-so-great week last week, look what magically appeared to wish me a better week this week. 😊 Saving these for a new machine I plan on ordering soon. Thanks!

Is it just me...?

The most under-stated job description

Client: is it possible to make my computer unhackable, untraceable, and make it to were it can never get viruses?

Me: yes!

Client: How?

Me: Just don't go on the internet.

\(+_+)/

I'm happy the announce the official devRant bug/feature suggestion tracker, now on GitHub!

It just went live, and you can find it here: https://github.com/devRant/devRant

Going forward, please use that issue tracker for all bug reports and feature suggestions. We decided to move bugs/features reports to GitHub because we've had a lot of people tell us they'd prefer that method since it makes tracking issues easier, and we also think it will improve searchability and maintainability of current bugs and feature suggestions.

Since we're starting from scratch with it, if there's a bug/feature that you're interested in submitting, and it's not already there, then please go ahead and add it! Even if it's been suggested before in a rant, we want to get them in the GitHub issue tracker, so please add it there too.

Feel free to let me know if you have any questions, and we hope this new method makes it easier to see what bugs we're working on fixing and makes it easier to see and discuss possible new features!

Guess who just collapsed several lines of code and then spent 10min looking for them.

Get into bed.

Gets all comfy.

About to drift off.

Realizes solution for the problem I have spent all week on.

Now wide awake.

Guess who's not sleeping tonight!

Your mama's so fat she can't save files bigger than 4GB

C: application not working
Me: k. What changed?
C: we didn't make changes
Me: k... *gets a tech team (W) on the phone*
W: Hey, what's broken?
Me: C's application. How do things look?
W: running healthy. I'll check logs.
Me: thanks. *gets tech team (S) on the line*
S: hey, everything clear on our end, will check logs.
Me: thanks *gets tech team (U)*
U: hey! They asked us to deploy their new version today during normal deployment time. Is it acting up?
Me: C, what did you change?
C: nothing major, just how we connect to W and S...
W&S: are you shitting me???
Me: U, will you please roll it back?
C: no! Must stay on this version, you need to fix your side!!
Me: nope. *calls U boss (UG)*
UG: U, you have my permission to roll back, they need to fix. C, if your boss doesn't like it, have them call me.
*rollback fixes problem*

IF I FUCKING ASK YOU WHAT THE FUCK YOU CHANGED, YOU BETTER TELL ME THE TRUTH, OR I WILL STRIP YOUR CODE OFF OUR FUCKING SYSTEMS AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT. MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU AND YOU NEED TO BACK TO FUCK UP AND NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MY JOB OR YOU WON'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE.

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

We accept that the brain is the most important organ, but really, what organ is telling you that?

Fucking Brain.

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

Teacher: Your program has to be at least 2000 lines long.

-_-

My stressball went on vacation

Manager: Make the page look like Apples.

Me: What is it you like about their page?

Manager: I don't know, it just makes me feel good.

Told my Boss Server is Down. He told me to go downstairs and work there.

The cool thing about side projects is you can do whatever you want.

The shitty thing is you never complete whatever you want.

IE8 YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Bad handwriting is the most effective encryption

There's a new kind of cache i didn't know about.

🔥 🔥 Release day! 🔥 🔥

devRantron has reached v1.0.0 today! Here is what you can do with devRantron:

1. @mention someone when posting comments
2. Filters rants with keywords
3. Add emoji when posting rants and comments
4. Get notifications
5. Browse rants, collabs and stories
6. Browser user profiles
7. Post rants
8. Create custom columns of your own choice

Thank you so much to all the contributors, especially @Dacexi for designing the app and @sirwindfield for setting up our build infrastructure.

We plan to add more features in future. For example, searching rants, edit/delete rants or comments and most importantly, themes. Right now it has a dark theme by default.

Thank you to the users to opened issues on GitHub during development. Your feedback has helped a lot.

Whenever you find a bug or want a new feature, please open a new issue on GitHub and we will look into it.

Contributors are always welcome. I am still working on writing a article about the structure of the application, I will let you guys know when that is done. It will be easier for you to contribute when you have a bigger picture.

Relevant collab: https://devrant.io/collabs/420025/

Oldest Computer

It's one of those afternoons...

Microsoft and Linux 😂😂

The first one should be the answer

Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.

Friend: So you're a programmer? You must be good in hacking WiFis and sht.
Me: Uhm..
Friend: Can you hack my PayPal account using HTML?
Me: Say no more.

Don't lie on your CV.