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This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!
He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.
Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.
I was standing there like:
*should I tell him?*
😅😆65 -
Had a customer on the phone who couldn't figure something out. Wanted to give him instructions so I asked him whether he used mac or windows (getting used to not including Linux in that question). His reply: uhm this has a weird name... do you know elementary os?
Me: you're a Linux user?!
Him: yes, I'm done with windows and mac.
Then i gave him the instructions. Nice twist of the day!12 -
Guy called in because he wanted to get an IP white listed on a server. He wasn't authorized so i told him to send an email from an authorized email address.
He didn't like that very much and asked if another engineer was available (he talked to him more often so he thought that engineer would just do it. We need those kind of requests by email.)
Walked over to my colleague and explained what that client asked for.
'let him send an email!'
Told him i ready told the client that but that the client wanted to talk to him instead.
'sure, connect him through and then come back so you can hear him after i ask him to mail us!'
Connected him through. Client explained the situation.
Then he says with the sweetest voice and a 'get rekt' face: 'could you send me an email about that? 😊'
Let's just say that the client sounded everything but happy xD3 -
Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day. Teach a man how to program, frustrate him for a lifetime1
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Guy left his computer unlocked. Boss came over looking for him, sat down at his computer and opened lots of porn and left saying 'that will teach him'.10
-
Nobody:
Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"
Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"
Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"
Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."
Him: "Microservices"
Send help...27 -
FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM!
JUST CAME TO REALISE THAT AN OLD CLASSMATE DURING UNIVERSITY STOLE 2 OF MY PROJECTS AND PUBLISHED 2 PAPERS UNDER HIS NAME.
HE EVEN ADDED THEM IN HIS CV.
SUCH PEOPLE SHOULD DIE.
Recently, at 2am, he even called me and asked for some doubts on other topic, I helped him too. Turns out such he was such a cheap person.
Let him call me next time...28 -
If you think you know the most idiot person in the world, you haven't met my brother.
His brain absolutely can't comprehend anything!
He forgot his Roblox password and told me to do something. I said I can't do anything about it. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs saying, "you don't know technology! You're too stupid and selfish. Fix it!"
I said I can't do anything about it. He throws the mouse at me and says, "I never get to have fun. You ruin my life!"
He's not a little kid btw. He's fucking 14.
Today my mom forgot to pay the wifi password, and she thinks its better not to pay it today so it can stop my brother from playing games. (He plays it from morning to night. No homework, no cleaning, no nothing. Just games all day.)
So he told me to fix it. I said I cant. There's nothing I can do. Then he punches my arm really hard. (He's taller and stronger than me so it really hurt) then he threw a shoe and said, "you're useless and stupid! You have your laptop so you can have fun but I never get to have fun. You ruin my life, and I hate you. I hate my life."
Then he ran to mess up my room by tossing things from the self, removing clothes from my closet, and messed up my bed. He pushed my sister, pulled my hair, and ran to his room, slamming the door.
Please. Please someone give him a brain! He desperately needs one. I said I can't fix it, and that my mom has to pay the WiFi bill, but he thinks I'm being mean.
He has the mind of a 5 year old. Dropping to the ground crying.121 -
Me being a good collegue teaching my friend basic C++ for upcoming exam and trying my best not tore my friend apart.
Crime scene: university's library, today, 1PM.
Me: Create a new class, just type 'class' and hit TAB
Him: I'm trying to but it pastes some code
Me: That's the point of hitting TAB.. now that we are finished, include it in your main file, the one with main entry point
Him: I have no such thing
Me: Look for main function
Him: There's none, what is it called?
Me: ...main
Him: Yeah, what is it called?
Me: ..main, the name is main
Him: I get it, but what is it called?
Me: 'MAIN' FOR GODS SAKE, THE NAME IS 'MAIN' *points towards my code*..
Him: Oh, okay, I get it now
Me: Ok, let's compile
*Error pops on his screen*
Him: You know what, I don't think you can really program.. *closes laptop and walks away*.
FML16 -
I just got dropped from a project for taking 2 days leave. The client was like 'the rest of the team worked fine without him for 2 days, we don't need him!' :(3
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Me : hey, why have you taped out your webcam ?
Him : shhhh, they are watching.
Me : what ?
Him : what ?16 -
*me and a bored coworker
me: bored as hell dude.
him: i have a fun game in mind.
me: shoot.
him: *brings his keyboard
him: type the string you can type the fastest. we will time it. i will start.
him: *types his name
him: your turn.
me: Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);
him: the fuck is wrong with you?16 -
This happened at my last internship. There was this other intern and he was a TO THE FUCKING MAX windows fanboy and whenever someone said something bad about windows he'd go full rage. Also, he'd sometimes spend half an hour at my desk explaining why windows was the best and Linux sucked.
This one time, I read about a newly discovered windows vulnerability and told the employees so they'd update quickly and they were like ' thanks for the notification mate!' And then that guy came up to me telling that 'Linux also has severe vulnerabilities sometimes'. YES I FUCKING KNOW THAT I'M JUST TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UPDATE FOR THEIR SECURITY YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. I got really mad. Still, fuck that guy.9 -
Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.2 -
Fucking clueless products owners.
Him: "I want a mobile app - how long"
Me: "Depends, what should it do?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Well what problem should it solve?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Who's it for?"
Him: "Dunno"
Me: "Well I can't help you then!"
Him: "I need an estimate for my business plan"
Me: "OK - put 'eternity' down, and we can work backwards from there"
Jackass7 -
Me trying to find developers to My gaming community:
Question 1:
Can you code node.js?
Him:
Yes
Question 2:
Can you code java?
Him:
Yes
Question 3:
Do you know DevRant?
Him:
No sorry
Me:
Then im sorry next one...10 -
I hate it when people think programming is for geeks with black hoodies in a dark room... #codingforeveryone
6 -
Because apparently this douchebag thought writing else is too mainstream. And indentation, that is for noobs.
22 -
A guy is sitting at a bar when the guy next to him lights up a cigarette. Horrified, the guy turns to him and says "hey! Don't you know the surgeon general warns that cigarettes can cause cancer!?" The guy next to him replies "I'm a software developer, I don't care about warnings. Only errors"2
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Him: Is Hava a type of programming language?
Me: What?
Him: Hava!
Me: *looks at what he's looking at*
That's fucking Java 🤣😂11 -
New hire commit:
Message: Visual update
Gitlab: Showing 27 changed files with 21628 additions and 12296 deletions
Do I kill him before or after teaching him?16 -
"Holy mother of fuck. This shit is soooo interesting."
- My roommate after I taught him basics of programming. May the main() be with him.12 -
Hubby and I work for the same company. His boss is a twat who's always trying to fire him. Told my hubby's boss he needed to be more clear with expectations and bring issues up before he gets pissed and can't respond appropriately. Then I walk away. Then I email him apologizing for taking to him and that I'm not planning to talk to him again.
That little bitch went to HR and said he felt threatened by me, demanded that I be required to work from home. My boss said no.
Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahha 😂8 -
Today pranked my colleague changing some semicolons in his PHP Code to greek question marks.
It took him tears, sweat and a long time until I told him.
Now he wants to kill me.
XD9 -
My boss was getting upset about me not letting him know where I was. So I created a flow that would email him automatically if I was in the office or not by a certain time.
12 -
"A client wants to buy 'the source', can we give him the source but not the code. We don't want him copying."11
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Waisting some times on codewars.com
~~~~
3 kyu challenge:
Given a string with mathematical operations like this: ‘3+5*7*(10-45)’, compute the result
~~~~~
*Does a quick and easy one liner in python using eval()*
*sees people actually writing some 100 lines parsing the string and calculating using priority of operation*
Poor them...
(Btw, passed to lvl 4 kyu thx to this)14 -
Me: So what you are doing in the IT field?
Him: I am hacking bank websites.
Me: OK, that's cool. It is good in free time. What is your actual job?
Him: I am seriously hacking the bank Web site!
Me: Trust me, if you seriously doing that you will never ever mentioned it...
Him: No, I am doing it legally... The bank hiring me to try to hack the website...
Me: OK, you mean that you are cyber security tester?
Him: That is almost the same...
Me: So you are tester?
Him: I am hacking bank's websites...
Me:....7 -
Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!
So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.
Him: So what are u going to show me?
Me: A walk through of the app.
Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)
Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.
Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)
Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"
Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!
Me: (smiling) Yes!!
Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--
Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.
Him: If u leave, ur done!!
Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)
Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!
Me: Happy 😁😁😁13 -
Me annoying our dev:
Me: “Is your npm watch running?”
Him: “Yes!”
Me: “You better go catch it then... 🤣”
Him: “....”
I think we gatta let him go :(5 -
He asked me how I’m doing a couple days ago & I ignored him so he got straight to the point, lol. What should I tell him?
40 -
I guess schools in DE are very safe, because this kind of behavior is normally punched out of you around 4th grade.
Just close the fucking window and shut the fuck up instead of snitching in a chat where the boss can see. And why the fuck was that guy in the lab on Sunday?
BTW, there is no chance anyone could pull our 75+kg robots out of that window. Not to mention they are like 20 years old and their only worth is as scraps.
13 -
So this is going to be one hell of a FUCKING rant.
Just heard from a friend (doing the same exams I passed, it was going to happen in two groups and he was in the second) that he failed the first out of three phases. And why?
I NEARLY FUCKING FAILED THE FIRST FUCKING PHASE. I GOT A FAIR CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT AND I TOOK THAT CHANCE.
BUT.
MY FRIEND MADE THE SAME MISTAKE. HE MISSED A FUCKING DOCUMENT AND ASKED FOR OVERTIME, WHICH HE GOT AND THEN HE ASKED THE EXAMINOR VERY NICELY IF HE COULD TELL HIM WHAT DOCUMENT HE MISSED (for the record, it was bad documentation and it was not clear that it had to be a seperate document) AND WHAT DID THAT FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER SAY?
Hmm hmm hmmm.... nope, that's your responsibillity
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HE HELPED ME BUT NOT HIM? I KNOW YOU LIKE ME MORE THAN HIM BUT IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING REASON TO LET HIM FUCKING FAIL?!?!?!?
I AM MOTHERFUCKING FUCKITY FUCKING FURIOUS.9 -
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...16 -
This is the only place where a developer can complain and find who understands him and give him advices.
Thanks ranters1 -
Everyday, my developer friend keep complaining and talking our manager bad words behind him. So i introduced devRant to him.
Him: what is this?
Me: An app specially designed for developers for sharing their programming life.
Him: *after installed* , how can i add ur account?
Me: you cant add me, bcx everyone don't know each other here. *walk away and continue do coding*
After few days, i realized he always staring at his phone, guess what? Lol3 -
Dev of my team coding on Idea
Seeing him using space-bar to format copy pasted lines of code
Me: why don't you use ctrl+l shortcut?
Him: I don't use shortcuts while coding
Me: at least use the tab
him: nope.
He formatted 3000 lines of code with space-bar. He's not even using notepad. 😐
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.9 -
Him: You can code, right?
Me: Of course,why
Him: I want to start promoting my (very crappy) music, I need you to –
Me: No!
Him: But, I just –
Me: I already said No.Never gonna happen.
Him: I get it.You really can't code,you just pretend to.A simple website can't be that hard for you if you knew.
Me:(Pushing him out) Nice try.9 -
I am working on a project with a retard.
I am supposed to focus on the mobile apps but the backend guy doesn't know shit about REST.I spend more time teaching him how to serialize data into JSON and telling him not to store passwords as plaintext(He's now using md5 despite me telling him to use bcrypt) than developing the mobile apps am supposed to.
Guess who will be blamed for missing the deadline?
Yea, it's me.
Guess who will get the credits for the backend i am developing?
Yea, it's him.
Fuck!12 -
A mate couldn't remember a IP address so asked me to make him a domain to make it easier for him. His new domain is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx.somewebsite.com (xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is the IP)4
-
I think I once saw Richard Stallman in a subway in New York, but I'm still not sure if it really was him or just another hobo.
I wanted to go up to him and ask, but was too scared that I might offend him if it _was_ him or get attacked by a hobo if not.
4 -
[Him]: Hey can I ask a quick question
[Me. ]: Of course!
[Him]: Why do you multiply the amount of timer ticks with 31000 to get the amount of nanoseconds here ?
3 -
Him: phhhhhip
Him: phhhhhhhhhhhip
Him: phip
Me: ...
Him: PHHHip
Me: Excuse me! Why are you making that noise!?
Him: Making the sound a fart makes when attempting to escape the butt silently.
Me: ...
Me: Why?
Him: Because if you sound out PHP that is exactly what it sounds like. A fart trying to escape a butt silently. -
him: *explains feature*
Can you do that?
me: No.
him: Okay, you'll do that.
spoiler: I did it. This actually happened like 3 times with the same dude.5 -
I tell him to submit a pull request, he just merges his code. I revert it and tell him to submit a pull request, he submits one then merges it himself immediately after...6
-
...
Me: Oh cool, So you do dynamic websites
Him: Yes,
Me: Oh Great, What programming language do you use?
Him: Oh huu, I use Sublime Text...
Sorry, I didn't heard the rest cause I was dead2 -
Just got a email from interviewer, thanking me for introducing him to Devrant!!! Called me for a second interview.
***Told him about DevRant in first interview ***11 -
Him: I am a software engineer.
Me: That is great, do you use specific technology?
Him: Multiple, but my basic is YouTube.
Me: Sorry, I didn't get it? You mean YouTube API?
Him: No need, I have a channel on YouTube... And podcast a lot about software engineering.
Me: So you don't write code anymore?
Him: I didn't, engineering is more than writing codes.
Me: Yes it is....13 -
Starting to work with a new senior designer in the remote office (red). Spent 4 days explaining to him that we need .png's in multiple sizes for the app, trying to teach him to use Zeplin to let us export them. Everything failed, his manager told him to just send us the .png's via slack ..... has he seen a computer before?
11 -
DO NOT TEACH DIRECTLY HOW TO USE SOMETHING! TEACH THEM HOW TO LEARN BY THEMSELVES!!!! What they teach is outdated and unfit for most students2
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Shit! I knew buzzwords were overused, but I just saw an ad and it is fucking jesused jambled bananas in the ass.
Starts with a woman looking out the window and there’s a tornado (seems ok for now)
The tornado approaches and IT IS MADE OF FUCKING NON MONOSPACED IN MY ASS FONTED 0s AND 1s. Bonus point: they are green !!
Switches to lines of GREEN code (kill my fucking brain with a pistol attached to your dick right now)
Probably JS or something similar in syntax.
And then: A FUCKING GUY LEANING OVER POINTING SOMETHING ON THE SCREEN! HIS NAMETAG:
Logan Paul
Blockchain
👏👏👏👏
And then some other buzzing asses armagedon en d of the fucking world bleeding edge vibrator buzzwords shenanigans.
Finishes with drones shot flying between businesses building with 3d floating words like
Blockchain!
Artificial Intelligence
Deep learning
Etc.
KILLLLLL MMMEEEE FU748-KFJV ING 3I6HT N0W $)&(&($8#;&(&8 jeiebc13 -
They finally got him. Couldn't get him on drug charges, couldn't get him on murder, so they fall back on old faithful: tax evasion
https://theverge.com/2020/10/...
Side note: It's hard to find a picture of johnny boy without guns or nsfw material.
24 -
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤦♂️🤬🤦♂️🤬🤦♂️
Was watching Linux videos on YT (got bored) when a 🤬 Udemy (you know what, I’m blocking them right now) ad popped up and it was on how to learn... LINUX!!! This is a total scam!!!! 🤬🤬
15 -
Once a Swidish programmer from our remote offices came to our office for a week (4 people office, we occupied three seats). He used to sigh loudly after every ten lines of code he wrote. One programmer in our office got so pissed at him that she would randomly yell at him without him knowing (using our local language which he didn't know)5
-
Dude claimed that he had good practise of DS and problem solving.
My senior gave him a tough one to solve. Couldn't. Started shouting in between the interview that we tricked him with wrong question. Senior sat him down, told him how it was a right question. Dude got pissed. Stormed out of our office. Posted a review on Glassdoor calling our interview process rubbish and unnecessarily difficult.
HAAH!8 -
212 millions invested in programming education in Quebec!
Yes!
But wait a sec! What are those fucking screen! And it’s fucking windows 7 you piece of shit! Use fucking ltsp! Costs less money = More teaching!
Poor students, at least they are learning to program
4 -
Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out
And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!
The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!
People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.
That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.
And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.
That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.
They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.
Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.
Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.
The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).
This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”
AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.
That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.
All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*
I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.12 -
I read an interesting article on internet.
Thought my friend would like it and sent a link to him.
-_-
I will never send anything to him again.
6 -
nVidia, fuck you
Just fuck you!
FUCK YOU!!
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO LIKE ALL THE OTHER MANUFACTURERS!!
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST PUBLISH OPEN SOURCE DRIVERS THAT WORK WITH MODERN TECHNOLOGICAL STANDARDS AND NOT YOUR OWN PROPRIETARY LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT SOLUTION!!!
ALL OTHER MANUFACTURERS HAVE OPEN SOURCE DRIVERS, AND SOME ARE EVEN MAINLINED IN THE KERNEL!!!
I JUST WANT WAYLAND TO WORK!! FUCK YOU
I’M BUYING AN AMD!!!
https://reddit.com/r/...
https://drewdevault.com/2017/10/...16 -
> be me
> has some free time
> decides to practice rust skills
> logs on codewars
> finds challenge involving prime numbers
> passes 30 min skimming the Internet to implement the Sieve Of Atkin algorithm
> tries example tests
> passes
> submits answer
> “memory allocation of 18446744073709547402 bytes. failederror: process didn’t exit successfully”
> 18446744073709547402 bytes ~= 18 million petabytes
So yeah, I think it’s broken9 -
Post Anger Rant (Beware, Long rant ahead)
So there is this project we have been working for months, most of the devs involved are jr students so I was leading them in the architecture and what to do and they were doing it, the progress was slow but safe and fun.
On the team there was this guy, someone I trusted and in who I had special interest for his skills, so I let him own the github repo.
So the day of the first demo I pull the backend changes ( I had been working on front end ) and I realize that the code was different, so I started using my super awesome forensic skills to find what happened,and when I say different I mean a totally different architecture different database connections, different service pirts, basically other project, so during my criminal investigation I found out this guy I trusted had never really worked with us, from the beginning he went solo working on his own project and changing everything because of some tutorial he found on the internet, so I decided to reset to the previous version just to find out that he had already deployed the code and that a lot of fixes that we should have were only on his version.
So I went and confront him telling him that he did wrong and he had to learn team work and that I was trying to teach them good practices and he waits and asks me "so, my code was wrong?" Seriously what da hell dude? I'm talking about team work and all you can think about is your code.
Finally he admitted his mistake and repented (I think), but seriously how arrogant must you be to ignore a whole team, specially when on your first real project.8 -
Quote, I really liked - “Give a man a program, frustrate him for a day.
Teach a man to program, frustrate him for a lifetime.” -
Mojang released the minecraft official launcher for Gnu/linux, and they fucking have an Arch package! That’s right motherfuckers: AN ARCH PACKAGE!5
-
I switched my job about 2 months ago. This was my first switch after college (in 7 years). I was at a senior position and was not learning anything new for few months and got really bored.
I had asked for a 100% hike in new company, they gave me over 150%. Apart from this, they offer free food and snacks (or reimburse if you order your food from outside). Unlimited leaves and work from home option. No fixed working hours (I see people working for only 5-6 hours some days). No sign of politics yet. People are very humble and help you out even on silly queries. Company is growing at a very fast pace, it was named in fastest x growing companies about a month ago in some report with growth rate of about 1000%.
I see people around me with so less experience than me but so much knowledge. Feels like I am fresher again and learning so much from them. FYI, I had worked in same field (tech) for initial 3 years of my career. Looking at seniors I am finally able to set goals.
This one time I saw CTO awake at 3 am collaborating actively in resolution of a production issue.
Having seen so much positive, I went over 100 reviews on Glassdoor to find out the only 2 negatives points ever written, one of them was slow Lift in building. The other a9 -
Linux geek started working at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.2
-
Interview:
Candidate claims being seasoned "senior".
Him: i don't know how the solve this
Me: you have to use binary search
Him: ahhaaa
Me: do you know binary search?
Him: yes
Me: can you please explain binary search?
Him: eghm, hmm, sorry I can't20 -
I seriously wanna fucking knofe this guy who says JS is shit and Kotlin is superior well NEWS FLASH YOU FLYING PIECE OF WANK, every fucking language has its pros and cons
If you still think JS is supposed to be in browser well I say to you fucktard this isnt the 80s anymore and we ain't using Java applets and Flash for some limp dicked stuff JS has covered today. A language might have its dark sides but they are all fucking good. There is no superiour language there's only Mother fucking preference. I swear to god this is the worse limp dicked argument I've heard and I have to argue that JS has matured over the years11 -
Was looking through the most used passwords list (the one that had 'removed my password from lists...'). 'password' is like one of the top one, and then 'PASSWORD' is 810th !?!?!?! At least it's before hentai...
8 -
Me and my classmate working on the same problem but on different machines.
Him: Hey, how to create a file by terminal?
Me: touch space filename.
Him: Hey, how to open file?
Me: vi space filename
Him: How to do this? How to do that?
Me: Do this. Do that.
After sometime,
Him: Hahahaha... I solved the problem faster than you... You are so slow. I am better.
Me: 😒👺👿2 -
Open source...
Apple: F*** Open Source!!!! Money's our god!!!!
Google: Let's make MONEYYYYYY... and then give code
Microsoft: Ya... ok... yeah... no... sry but we have do to some money...
Linux: OPEN SOURCE FOR EVERYONE!!!!! IT'S FREE!!!!!! hey... guys... what ain't you coming, I'm lonely *Play "sound of silence"*9 -
I might actually quit. I'm within weeks (Army-stupidity pending) of working remote and not having to interact with my boss face to face, and I might quit.
2 week long call, everything I suggested was turned down/dismissed by him. Turns out, the second thing I suggested may have resolved the issue... After he decided he was going to take over the call.
While I was on the call, he ran the coffee maker, the kettle, banged his dishes around in the metal sink, and honestly tried to create as much noise as humanly possible, as he does for all my calls. I have multiple signs up requesting people be considerate.
He works for a different company, so I can't call HR, and I'm at the end of my patience.3 -
Mentor: “Hey, have you checked the Figma for the designs?”
Me: “What’s Figma?”
Mentor: “Figma nuts in your mouth”
I loved him. I will die for him.5 -
I'm kind of disgruntled that I've only worked with one ninja level developer in my career (small market) and he was an insane dick. Despite my hatred, I treated him kindly and respected him. I wanted to learn from him but he didn't want to teach.
Ninja devs, don't be that guy.6 -
friends project: android app that start counting when touch event happens.
and fails to do so...
(after substancial help, I showed him wht ge failed but did understand)
A company hires him as android developer...
not sure I am glad for him, this cannot end well...6 -
Follow-up on my previous rant:
My "friend" recently removed all credit to me which is breaking the license of the graphics I made for him. I have given him 7 days before I will take legal action, hope the warning scares him into either not using the graphics or adding credit back.3 -
Our security auditor is an idiot. How do I give him the information he wants?
http://serverfault.com/questions/...4 -
/* My Three Wishes */
1. Nvidia starts fucking supporting the linux community with open source mainlined drivers that support GBM.
2. All five eyes countries apply some proper privacy protection laws. Other countries would be appreciated.
3. 5G and other core future tech standards are implemented under open firmware/hardware that can be reviewed and reproduced.
Please monkey paw this3 -
A few years ago, a fellow programmer called me to teach him how to use git blame to find out who wrote that piece of code that broke the monetary ecosystem in this game. He was pretty upset about it because they blamed him about it. I gladly helped him just to see my own name there. Sad story.1
-
Me : hey do you remember that c++ file ?
Him : which one ?
Me : the one with 69 if-else's and 420 switch cases ?
Him : oh yes I remember, but I don't remember, or do I ?
Me : -_______-7 -
When someone wants help with a common error in a group and another person is encouraging him to actually look up the error online, DON'T SPOON FEED HIM WITH A STACKOVERFLOW LINK.
DON'T BE THAT GUY.1 -
The next time a teacher tells me to Google something I ask him about...
.... I'll tell him to Google my noodle.
Thank you.
Keep scrolling.3 -
Me talking to a friend
Me: Come on, you should use git, it was even created by Linus
Friend: Who’s Linus?
Me: *Wanting to be the one found by Logan Paul*7 -
On the gitlab incident livestream description on youtube I noticed this:
"No, nobody was fired"
Yeah right. They probably beat him, raped him, burned him, crucified him, raped him again. But no there were no firing involved.9 -
[wordpress trigger warning]
Had an idiotic colleague who re-implemented the insert image function as a shortcode. A “senior php developer”. No, I’m not kidding.
Him: “But this way we can set a class”
Me: “As you can with the standard mode”
Him “No you can’t”
Me: *shows*
Him (smiling): “well why don’t you remove my stuff then?”7 -
Weirdest coworker...I once recommended a guy I knew from college who was a great coder, but he always came to work dressed in his pajamas and such. On top of that he caped all the time and I caught him weighing drugs in the bathroom. But because I recommended him I couldn't very well call him out on it.
-
My SO got a promotion, and with it he's going to be out of town about every other week.
I told him I'm excited for him, that even though I'll miss him it's a sacrifice I'm happy and willing to make because it's so good for his career, and our future. I don't want him to distracted during his work trips about worries about my unhappiness.
But I miss him and this is so hard actually 😔10 -
ffmpeg...
I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!
I CAN JUST STACK THOSE FILTERS WITH NO RESTRICTIONS OVER AND OVER WITH DIFFERENT INPUTS AND OUTPUTS!!
Also: it fucking works with still images, AND IT’S FUCKING FAST!!
It’s around FOUR (4, DO YOU REALISE THE IMPROVEMENT) times faster to GAUSSIAN blur an image and then composite an image over it with ffmpeg, than to composite the image with imagemagick (no blurring)!!3 -
Our HR guy is a tool. He requested I help him extract some data from our database. Which based on what he requested I supplied he then started trying to bully me because the data I gave him wasn’t what he wanted. Ringing me every 5 mins asking if it was ready, comparing me to another colleague who wrote the system.
When we blew up at him telling him to back off he continued. Anyway he still works here and persists in being a tool. i on the other hand ignore him.
I’m pretty sure that the HR bullying an employee is wrong, not massively worried about it just annoyed6 -
Just hired an entry level developer in my company. Just graduated. He doesn't know what is code debugging, does not know difference between IDE and text editor like atom.
He doesn't know what is Bootstrap and git.
Gave him a task in AngularJS 1. Gave him 3 weeks and a half time. Read data from webservice, show them in table, filter, sorting and show details per record (which is easy in AngularJS. I got the same task years ago and finished in 2 days after I finished my AngularJS 1 tutorials). He did not finish any of those.
I know I'm judging but come on. What have you done these three years university? Only partying? Have not bothered reading something online? FOR THREE YEARS?
P.S. I have learned everything myself. Coding, debugging, structuring etc. I've had the bad luck that my 2 first bosses and team leader used to tell me "Do not ask anyone for help here in the office. Google is your best friend." And he encourage all developers not to help each other.
Ad I am writing this, I told him to download and install PyCharm and get back to me. It's been one hour and I have not heard anything from him. 1 Hour to download and install something. Imagine how long will it take to do a task.
Even my girlfriend (Yes, I have one), who dislikes computers can do this.
That's why I'm so frustrated.
I am thinking of firing him. Or should I give him more time?
I mean, if he can not do a simple task only by showing data in a table (which he can find them on Google, worst case scenario, how can he do more complex code, structuring it, etc ?)13 -
Friend asked to create a small website. I didnt ask for an upfront pay because I trusted him. Finished the website and sent him an invoice.
We're now strangers.
He didn't pay6 -
Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman8 -
Me: hey mr backend guy, front end guy here, having some trouble with $thing, here's a detailed explanation of my issue, could you let me know if $thing is still active?
Him: hi
Me: ... hi, so about that issue I'm running into...
<crickets time="1hr"/>
Him: ok........checking ....
<crickets time="2hr"/>
Him: (offline)
SSSSSSOOOOO guess I'm figuring this one out myself -
So apparently the CIO knows all about my team lead sucking it up as a boss, and is letting him do it. He's constantly on the team leads ass about stuff and it's stressing him out.
The CIO wants him to stop being so micro managey and let the team handle things... But instead of telling the team lead that, he'd rather just blast him constantly and stress him out which makes it roll onto us and stress the whole team out.
I wish the CIO would just tell him to square up or just fire him... This stress isn't good for anyone. -
Messenging with a friend about me working with VBA on a side project.
Me: VBA brings back bad behaviour
Him: Like?
Me: I_AM_KONSTANT and this is a _globalVariable.
Him: Hahaha^^
[...]
Me: Mister O. ...
Him: Mister M. ?
Me: Should i use goto?
Him: I think we need to break off contact.
Him: If you had said you killed someone. Ok.
Him: But GOTO?
[...]
Me: I did it. And then a cold shiver ran down my back.
Him: You deserve that!
____________________
( translate from German )4 -
Manager asked me once
"how many lines of code does a good developer write"
:facepalm: i was so shocked i couldnt answer him straight with a good answer. tried telling him that we are not a factory making nails, i dont know. what would you have said to him?14 -
I went to a friend to help him learn angular. I asked him to show me his code, he opened sublime text, the code was all white ...
- aren't you using a TS plugin ?!
- what is that ?
- since when are you coding like this ?
- more than a week ...
I installed the plugin, than showed him VSCode.
Hi bought me a beer later c:1 -
Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
-
When you have a friend that you love but you can't say that you love him, it is way more painful than breaking up with him as friends.
-
Him: my PC doesn't want to connect to the internet.
Me: Are you doing IT ryt?
Him: Yes
Me: Then fix ur shit. -
You guys remember that awful Java class that I'm taking at uni? Mentioned in this rant here: (https://devrant.com/rants/1461472/...).
Well we had an assignment to make a program that accepted any amount of numbers from a user and add the unique ones to an array (so if 2 was already entered, it would not be added to the array a second time), and then print the array out backwards. Simple as fuck right?
I checked my grade from the assignment I turned in and see that I only received 10 out of 50 points. Why?
"Program compiles and works with expected output. Partial credit for using ArrayList instead of array".
Uhm.. Partial credit is 10 out of 50?? And what the hell? Yeah okay let me go make this stupid program that involves an array with an unknown length and see how fucking perfect it works out for me.
Fuck you for docking my grade because I made a program that was sensible.
Fucking dickhead. -
This senior dev of mine is so good that he always reminds me to finish the bugs and yeah, fixed it, and sent the codes to him. The hell's wrong with him is that he hasn't upload the codes i sent to him.2
-
Sometimes I ask myself why dark theme isn’t the default setting on apps. I mean, light theme WRECKS YOUR EYES!!! How can the common way of designing is to make light theme default or JUST NOT HAVE A DARK THEME!!!!! It’s so unnatural!!!! Anyway...8
-
A dev joins the project. I help him set up, and he has everything up and running. I give him a task to fix a CSS issue, I even tell him what needs to be done. Almost 4 hours later I begin to wonder what's taking him so long and what is he up to. He finally sends me a pull request with just one line of code changed, and leaves for the day, over 45 mins earlier than supposed to.12
-
Pun :
My C# developer friend Alfred getting a divorce because his feminist wife didn't like him treating her as "Object".
Now she's gonna "Dispose" him after "Using" him for her benefits.
😋3 -
The company's director and I:
Him: I think we need to build a hybrid mobile app, because the JavaScript code that renders images is the same on our front- and backends.
Me: Well, we could just send the parameters to the server, let it render it and get a response back.
Him: How?
Me: With an API.
Him: Oh! -
1.5 hours of my afternoon was spent on the phone talking my grandad through forwarding an email today.
Still love him him to death though.3 -
Heard that this morning.
Someone trying to teach somebody programming: you’ll see, programming is easy. We’ll start slow, I won’t teach how to code in c++, java or linux...
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
How do you want to teach him programming if YOU THINK LINUX IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!3 -
My friend had this screen saver or have "hacker type" site opened, with a hoodie on, so that no one can suspect him sleeping. Hahah Any tips for him to use in the future?
4 -
Logging into my school website when... WHY DO YOU USE 🤬 FRNCH FOR BOOLEAN IN THE URL M🤬F
Ok, I know this is a francophone college, but come on!
5 -
We're getting done with SidTheITGuy's bachelor party where we auctioned him off.
Before it was through, the lucky winner who snagged him at the bachelor-auction had already sold him to another, gotham's most mysterious tech heiress, looking to do a mezzanine funding round on her relationship status:
Meet, Ms. Planky Le Planche, the new fiance of SidTheITGuy:
58 -
Okay! Got my numpy pdf, theano pdf and my theano deep learning pdf! It’s time to get reading for 1111111111111111111111111111111111111 hours. Wow! I’m really getting deep into “deep learning” learning! Ok, I’ll quit now...2
-
Me :" bro let's create an operating system named "MyOS"
Him : "ew......"
Me : "What?"
Him : " Why would I create an operating system named "Your Old Ass"?"1 -
Hey guys, does someone knows if Twitter colludes with other websites and/or services to collect data, because I thought that privacy-wise, Twitter wasn’t as bad as Facebook as I just use Twitter to follow youtubers and Donald Trump(to keep up with his craziness) and never post anything. But I just got a Python Machine Learning ad just. And it’s spooky because I’m currently (trying to be) learning Deep Learning and Google knows it (🤬🤬 you udemy ads) but Twitter!!?? Do they have a way to link my account??
6 -
My friend is talking to someone else in the computer lab about a project we're working on for class, and they are telling him that we can't build our app in Java because it can only be used for android and web apps 🤦♂️
-
So this person is looking for a way to learn how to create websites, but apparently doesn't know what backend or frontend is.
Not sure if he is using the wrong process, or someone teaching him messed things up pretty bad. Or probably my question wasn't properly phrased?
Not sure what to say next. How to help him without investing hours? Should I share a good link for him to read? How do I do that without scaring him away?
8 -
So recently moved to a new place. New roommates. Thought lets initiate a talk. Found out one of em is a web developer.
Me: So, what you working on?
Him: Web technologies
Me: oh great...I worked on ReactJS and AngularJS.
Him: Our company uses AngularJS.
Me: So you work on AngularJS, right?
Him: Oh no I don't work on AngularJS...I am a frontend developer...
(Awkward silence)
(Inner me: No shit. Need to find new place.)
Should I tell him?1 -
Not a rant, just another story about me and the man I'm gonna wife.
We both have an upcoming job interview, and I was just talking about how at our previous internship I was using python to automate some tedious tasks for me.
Me: it's like a general thing, right, to just automate things you don't really want to do
...
Me: like breathing, and waking up, ya know? I don't wanna do that shit
Him: it kind of already is automated.
Me: *three years of wasted time at med school come tumbling back in to my brain, suddenly recalling the brainstem*
Me: oh, yeah.1 -
So yesterday there was suppose to be a test of the AlertReady Canadian program. Didn’t work in Quebec.
Reason: a trailing space
🤦♂️ -
You know what, I think the USA government just had a Windows Update, oh no wait, their versions of Windows are too old, they ain’t attacked by MS anymore.
-
M so angry at one of my faculties today!!
Basically, the faculty is utter garbage ( although he is supposed to b the best and most experienced guy ). He teaches us data communication but all he does is start up a presentation, read from there and tell that to us adding a thing or two...
Well we have been tolerating him for the entire semester at this point so... whatever, we have come to peace with the fact that we simply attend to get attendance...
But, yesterday, there was a seminar going on and I asked a question to the speaker... the speaker started replying and the faculty interrupted the speaker to crack an ill joke about me... and started laughing... I mean what the hell!!! Ur supposed to be a faculty and THAT is how u behave?!
Anyway, many people laughed... more so because of the way he laughed than his “joke”.
Made me burn with rage but i forgot about it thanks to the seminar being decent.
Today, he was checking our assignments... he became angry and the reason being we didn’t write answers from the presentation and instead used the Internet.
This is what he said:
“ I have given u the presentation and that is exactly where u will write the assignments from... if u wanna use the internet to find the answers, then why do u come to my class!! “
I literally wanted to say - “ to get freaking attendance!! “
Somehow I didn’t... my assignment wasn’t checked today so nothing bad happened...
And btw, the assignments that he gives r 30 terminologies ( words and meanings ),
And nearly 25-30 question answers...
Just go thru the presentation to get all the answers... and this is called “teaching” and “education” !!!! 😠😠😠😠
No research, no understanding, simply do as he says, even in quizzes, even if ur answer is correct but it is not exactly the point he asks, screw u!
He will scold u...
I CAME TO COLLEGE TO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND!!! NOT MUG UP UR STUPID ANSWERS TO PASS IN EXAMS!!!!!!
M now imagining ways to kill him 😠😠😠😠🔥🔥🔥🔥2 -
How do you deal with a boss who doesn't know code at all and he expects you to code for him??? How can I explain to him anything because even a single word like git confuses him... :/3
-
Fuck Arch wifi handling!!! Why can’t you fucking just have the needed software in the base package!!! Because when you take YOU FUCKING USB INSTALLATION SOMEWHERE THERE’S NO ETHERNET!!! You’re FUCKED!!! What’s the point! Now I need to boot from my lubuntu usb dual boot install, FUCKING INSTALL the Arch iso, VirtualBox and then the needed wifi packages!! Fuck!4
-
Just a quick rant on JavaScript,
So there’s a lot of people hating javascript, and while not a long time ago i was part of them, but I changed my opinion a little.
I think JavaScript is a great way to deal with website programming as it is quick and efficient, but I would not say to program directly on it, use a js-compilable language (CoffeScript, TypeScript, Kotlin(I think), etc.), but then you might say: “Well, no need for js then, compile it in byte code”. That would break the point of how I see web design/dev. The main intent behind webpages is to have an easy and fast way to send code to other computers to render them, that’s why it is interpreted: “Easy to send” and “*All* computers can handle it” with the proper browser. You need to be able to change the way the website is rendered and/or works sometimes, for diverse reasons like copy/pasting data, make it render properly or use plugins/add-ons to change that code to suit your needs.
I think js should be kept as a “readable byte-code”, so that means: {
Keep comments when compiling the js-compilable code,
Add standardized machine-readable comments that will indicate to smart code viewers how to show a particular thing (Like have a higher-end function compiled in js shown as a minimized code with explanations of the function)
Keep it nicely formated and don’t obfuscate (coz that’s annoying)
Etc.
}
So you bypass the quirks and all that pesky js stuff, while keeping it’s good sides.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Part 2:
Web design for non-web:
Ok so things like node.js, electron, react-native and all that stuff; I won’t say they’re bad but...
Why we have this is because web designers wanted to make desktop apps and were like “Hey! Making web pages is easy! Let’s port it to desktop”, the problem is: Web technologies were made to work on a restricted canvas, aka a browser. It’s good on web for reasons mention earlier and more. But it’s not on desktop! You’re trying to push it outside of those boundaries. It’s difficult to make it break that canvas and go outside, make something that really works! For social media clients and that kind of stuff that you want to make a little more inclusive, yes! it’s a great idea (hello devrantron ;), but not if it’s an exact same copy of the website, just use the website. But for things that are supposed to really make use of YOUR computer; no!
I see those PWA (progressive webapps aka mobile app, but it’s an offline website”), I stand for the same positions, social media and those sort of things: yes, great idea! Games? 🤢.
I have way more to say but I have difficulties to remember them while reading, so feel free to comment your thoughts
Lol, “just a quick rant”1 -
Help. I work with a guy who really wants to learn programming (he’s sales/support rn) and is even taking some courses on it. He seems eager enough to learn, the problem is he is just so fucking stupid I don’t know whether to encourage him or level with him.
He somehow managed to pass a course on Java (which I still don’t believe since I had to help him put his lines of code in the right order ffs), but now he’s signed up for C++ and data structures and I honestly don’t know how he’s going to do it.
This is the type of guy who loves “coding” but thinks debugging is a waste of time.
Normally I encourage anyone who wants to learn programming do so, but let’s be honest it does take a modicum of intelligence and this guy has zero common sense at all. We’re talking about a guy who sent me a *screenshot* of an Excel file that I needed to copy some activation codes from. And then had absolutely no idea what was wrong when I replied “are you fucking with me right now?”
*sigh*
And that’s not even scratching the surface. I sent him a zip file containing some updated code and walked him through how to update them on Slack (really basic, copy/replace files stuff). Then the VERY next day when I sent him a second update he asks “is there something you want me to do with this?”
The instructions were literally the last thing we talked about in the chat log.
I actually fear the stuff this guy would unleash upon the world if someone were actually able to teach him how to write a whole program.
What should I do? Right now my plan is to be vaguely supportive but secretly hope he will realize he’s in over his head and drop out before any damage is done. But my worry is he may just be SO dumb that he actually thinks he can do it. At that point I guess I just have to put my faith in his school and pray that they aren’t just giving degrees away to whoever can afford them. Because fear the day this guy ever gets a degree in programming.9 -
I LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY!
searched vim on ddg, found porn. Fuck me.
Looks like there’s no exception to the “3 letters rule”5 -
Guys, why does every idea project I get are already made!
"
Hey I have an idea, I could create a linux distro to replace those 🤬 windows 7 that have office 2003 and all that crap and that always update at my brother’s school.
I should base it on Ubuntu, as it is the most popular distro with the most support on the Internet (for those teachers that can’t enter a 🤬 ‘ , yes an apostrophe).
It should have all those sweet open source softwares to show the kids the open source world.
It should have a centralized restriction thingy.
How could I name it? Oh maybe Edubuntu, yeah that’s a cool name.
*searches it*
🤬 you!
I guess I could contribute to it, but I think it’s dead3 -
So i was going through the Pragmatic Programmer book and i saw a name in the acknowledgements section... Alistair Cockburn... And my mind just started imagining all these scenarios where he was bullied. He has a great firstname though Alistair sounds like such a badass name and thats why i bet when he is introducing himself, firstnames only he just refuses to tell his last name i seriously wonder how he went through the wedding if he had one. Mr. and Mrs. Cockburn 😂 oh god this is so childish but so funny.6
-
I swear the God I'm considering getting a rabied dog just to bite your balls off in case I ever see you in the streets..
- guys X are running load tests on env A
- load tests complete
- analysis of test results is being done
- slow response times are obsered
- someone asks whether X guys took a thread dump for further analysis
- a guy from team X (Mr. Xx) replies: "Will take the Thread Dump now."
- 10 minutes later uploads the whole fucking 2GB log file to Slack
- Xx replies: "I do not see anything wrong in the dump"
A fucking retard... Shove that useless dump up your ass and THEN tell me there's nothing wrong with it! Why the FUCK do you think that's the case? Moron1 -
Just realized one of my partners works with the waterfall methodology. I told him I'm sorry i cant work with him. What do you think?13
-
Anyone else having their imaginary Project manager for your private projects, you do talk to when their are problems with the code?4
-
I started using dvorak ~2 months ago and I’m getting better and better, but I was still using qwerty for french. But today, I discovered bépo... bye bye short term productivity2
-
My 7yo used the guest account on my galaxy tab s2 to get youtube access and search for "pistol". I cought him by the sounds of it... I confiscated it, and told him of the danger, but ++'d him for the " hack"... Guess I should be embarrassed by leaving the guest account available. :S1
-
Ex-colleague asked for help in regards to an old project we were working at my old job
Him:"We're experiencing an internal server error. What do we do?"
Me:"Restart tomcat, dude"
Him:"How?"
Then I explained how by finding tomcat in ps -ef in a Redhat server, because he's a Linux noob and needed a lesson in how services works. Proceeded to explain how to restart tomcat with an online guide available.
Him:"Couldn't find tomcat in any of the servers"
Me:"Are you sure? Send me screenshots"
Him: sent screenshots
Me:"it's there. Look carefully."
Him: finds it and proceeded to restart tomcat.
Him: "Can't restart. Some catalina.sh is stopping it."
Me:"Figure it out. You can do it".
Half a day passed...
Him:"I give up. If I restart the server, will tomcat also restart?"
Me:"Up to you man. It will work but it's bad practice."
He restarted the server vand now everything is honky dory. I feel sorry for him though.2 -
$ python
Python 3.6.1 (default, Feb 2018, 42:06:66)
[GCC 4.8.2] on linux
>>> print(None)
None
>>> print("The ideas in my head are always better")
The ideas in my head are always better -
Me: Too many deadlines
Him: miss me ?
Me: not today man.
.
.
Me: no_gf.jpeg
Him: miss me ?
Me: not today man
.
.
Me: errors_on_errors.avi
Him: miss me ?
Me: not today man
.
.
Me: depression.gif
Him: miss me ?
Me: not today man
.
.
Me: hot_intern.69
Him: miss me ?
Me: *evil_smile_as_i_finally_gripped_my_dick_in_my_hand*5 -
JAVASCRIPT IS NOT THE SAME AS JAVA!!!!!!
I need to relax, just heard my friend saying he knew someone at Oracle ‘you know the company that owns JavaScript’. I just yelled at him.
Ok now CALM DOWN🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😤😤😤😤1 -
And this happened today:
While on ssh session, this guy restarted network manager. According to him "his Facebook page wasn't showing him recent feeds". -
Boss is always supporting me and helps me to get promotions and better salary. Has true leadership through servitude attitude. He knows that everybody he helps will gladly help him even without him asking for help.
-
Aarrrgghhhhh!!! I am so fucking pissed off right now. It seems like I am paying for my sins in this life.
1. My cousins/relatives outcasted me after a little fault of mine. I used to think highly of them and respected them all my life and this how they acted on me.
Because of this, the entire family is boycotting my parents and they are pissed at me for getting them disowned.
2. My health is a mess. A toxic infection along with SAD creeping in due to less sun exposure. No matter how much I take care of myself, some shit shows up after periodically.
3. My wealth scene is as confusing as it can get. Not only I am unable to make up my mind on the finance strategy and execute it, but also frantically making silly decisions which is causing stress, confusion, and expenses.
4. That Narcissist bitch who abused me and destroyed my will to live is still stalking me after months and causing harassment. Only if the gender roles were reversed, the guy doing so would be in jail but fuck our legal system that biased towards women. This shit is causing me psychological distress.
5. Been away from work for few days due to sickness. I texted my talkative colleague whether she'd like to sync up and help me get upto the speed with updates. I listed 4 bullet points as agenda from my side. They were crisp short serving as pointers to remember. I even asked her to add her points if any.
Now she comes back saying that the way I send communication is it seems like she reports to me.
I have been praised time and again by countless people on my communication structure and soft skills. Never once I received such feedback in years.
I do accept it gracefully. However, I am unsure whether it is even a relevant feedback, since it's coming from someone who is literally struggling with communication with everyone (that she herself mentioned in the same thread).
Funnily she did say that when our manager departs, they'd make her report to me and I was like nah! that cannot happen.
She kept saying various great things about the company when I was new and slowly as I settled in and discovered the reality, her truth changed.
WTF!
Fucking annoying. I am all in for feedback of any kind but how should I figure which should be considered valid and which as invalid?
Life is nothing but a quicksand, you just keep sinking in irrespective of whether you try to get out or stay still. There is no external help or resources available.
So much mess to deal with.4 -
Had a task of service discovery, went through following phases:
1. UDP broadcast
2. Wait why not Bonjour?
3. JmDNS for desktop works great
4. Android NSD on Lollipop, this is easy
5. Kitkat WTF..!! Why did you put it there when it's so buggy.
6. Replaced Android NSD with JmDNS and it's great
7. Network switching on Android... done
8. Wait how are others doing it.. JmmDNS.. awesome.. fuck not working...
9. Read mDNSJava is much faster... replace JmDNS.. why haven't they uploaded parent pom on repo
10. mDNSJava freezing my Android device... revert to JmDNS
11. Let's see if it works with Wifi Direct.... Come on why aren't you working...
12. UDP broadcast it is 😢2 -
Trying to setup a ltsp server for fun. Neve done server things before.
The server and the thin client are in VMs. So I start, install openssh, and them when I try to ssh... WHY CAN’T I FUCKING CONNECT, I CHECKED THE IP WITH IFCONFIG, oh shit, forgot to configure the vm network... so ssh works! Then I setup dhcp (I really don’t know what I’m doing, just following the tutorial), the ltsp configs thing, build the client image and then, I HAVE NO FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION. Continues, boot up the thin client... WHY CAN’T YPU FUCKING FIND THE SERVER!! Then I realise the vm is not an ubuntu one, so delete it and make a new one... WHY DOES IT STILL DOESN’T WORK!!!!!! Oh wait forgot to connect to the network! Goes to put the network adaptor, and: wait! I don’t need NAT! So I replace the NAT by the correct network, and: Wait it lets me choose the weird thingy intel/pce thingy, oh I remember now! It said we needed the “...III FAST...”! Activate it and... IT WORKS ! !!!! CONNECTS TO THE SERVER!!! GOT THE DHCP!!! WAIT!!!!! What is THAT 🤬 TFTP LOADING THING!!!:
TFTP open timeout
🤬 YOU!!!!!!!!>> -
Today's interaction with indian recruiter who's recruiting for us based android dev role that requires experience with Augmented Reality and Virtual Reality.
Him: Hi.
Me: Hey. Nice to meet you! Can we discuss this role and etc.?
Him: have ar vr?
Me: have English?
Him: I think you dont understand ar vr.
Him: We need usa candidate anyways.
Him: Its augment or virtual.
Needless to say, insta blocked.9 -
I think karma is doing me a favor today 😍
So I started to work fir my current company early January 2017, on a project I'm still currently working on (well, now discussions are made around the next sprint, so I'm working on something else but you get the spirit)
We had the most PAIN-IN-THE-ASS-ish client I ever met. Dude gives schemas of what a page should look like (no real visual model but well things were pretty clear so there weren't big problems around).
The client was the kind of dude that could send these models, let us work on them then opening a fuck-ton of tickets, ranting about how the elements' display isn't good. Then we have to make remember him that he gave us nothing else, and he agreed on the functional specifications. And this for two WHOLE fucking years
Today, the project director came by our office and casually sat down next to me to tell me that the dude have been fired by his company for being a huge douchebag, blocking communication between us and simply being useless.
The sun is shining again 😍😍 -
So my friend and I have been casually talking about developing some indie games. I, being the one who knows programming, tried convincing him to learn some code.
Me: Hey, did you read the books?
Him: What books?
Me internally: ‘ok, maybe he just used some of the online guides’
Me: How’s [code learning app]
Him: Oh! I downloaded that the other day!
Me: Oh cool! What’s your account name?
Him: oh, I downloaded it but never actually opened it
Me internally:’fuuuuuuuuu-‘
Me: Did you learn any programming?
Him: nope
Me: WELL THEN FUCKING LEARN IT!!!!!
We don’t really talk to much anymore.1 -
USE F🤬 GNU/LINUX!!! After, make technology really available (there’s cheap but functional options like ltsp). Teach the f🤬 bases of programming! Use open source softwares! How Internet works and privacy thing! Learn to read f🤬 terms of contract and privacy things, teach that ie is fucking shit and also, the most important thing! Use dark theme, don’t hurt others like I was!
And also, use vim -
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!
IT'S A FUCKING VPN AND THEY CAN'T FUCKING PROTECT IT'S CONFIG FILES FROM JS!!!!!
https://thehackernews.com/2018/02/...
ooh first rant with dvorak2 -
13.5 million steps on my little Fitbit Zip named Dino. Long walk last weekend and lost him. Backtracked a mile and found him. So happy. But car had run him over and crushed Dino. So sad.
Carefully operated on him and although his screen (face) was smashed he had one more synch (breath) in him with me holding his little metal prongs.
Gave him a little funeral. He will forever have a cherished spot in my sock drawer.
I went to the Fitbit store and Sally his little sister was born to carry on his legacy. -
Didn’t touch to my arch usb install in a month (didn’t have to use it)
Ran pacman -syu.
The Internet connection is not fast, it’s been ongoing for 1 hour and will probably last for another.
i3 semicrashed, can’t close/run programs, can’t do anything.
Anyway, just wasting my time on here.
Listening to “thoughts and prayers” from grandson because of santa fe:
May their gods be with them and their families and their friends. I wish the best of recovery for the ones wounded, physically and mentally.
And for the shooter:
Take a trip to the hell of js frameworks and just stay there, 🖕you for what you did! You’re a twisted tomato burried deep in the fucking ground of sadness and horror jambled with middle fingers crooked by bullets shot from your gut and mind. -
While addressing a Senior Dev's (SD) query from another team.
SD: why is this field mandatory? Can't it be just optional? Any other work around?
Me: Is your code changes already pushed in Devo? In that case, we provide a value which will work since you are not concerned about it.
SD: Yes. It's pushed till production. And, I want to test changes in Prod.
Me: (shared some codes) and explained that this feature for testing is only available in Devo.
SD: I know that. (Shared me a ticket) I want this field to be optional. That's it.
Me: (read the entire ticket. Didn't find anything related their) Told him, I will discuss with team. And meanwhile, for Devo, you can use this value.
Next morning, I accidentally came over some other ticket raised by him only which had the correct doubts regarding request to support this field in production
Now, I don't know why did he share a wrong ticket with me.
And, how will it even help him if that field was even optional.
THAT JUST WONT WORK IN PRODUCTION.
I will discuss with my team and see what can happen. -
Making a simple 2d game in unity for a friend:
Never used unity or C#, but this looks easy. Gravity is already there, background is drag and drop, etc. That shit is fucking easy.
I think the hardest thing is going to be the textures, and inkscape got my back on that!
Anyway, I really need to sleep but I’m just reading the tutorial!
LET ME SLEEP FUCKING DEV BRAIN!2 -
Friend:
look! I've got privacy filters for all my devices!
Me:
Great! That's definitely gonna help!
*sitting behind him, watching him typing in nasty things over his shoulder* -
My parents gave me a old laptop and I would play games like Adibou (Good times)
And my first exposure to Linux (or GNU/Linux, call it how you want), was my father’s ubuntu server (with gui) and I found it ugly -
Me: I'm a developer and what're you?
Him: I'm a tester.
Me: We can be friends until the release...
Him: After that?!
Me: It gets difficult...1 -
Ok so my thoughts on M$ officially buying github:
Honestly idk, it’s really up to them. I hope they think it really independent because otherwise they could abuse of the power they have over devs. So no added bonuses or free Azure if you develop for uwp or that kind of shit.
But it could also help GH get even better and include more the devs and all that stuff.
Lately, M$ has been becoming a little less evil and maybe they have a little of good will. What I think we need is a motto and clear guidelines for the development of gh. A community focused openness about development.
Anyway, I’m super tired and I should be sleeping, but I’m a dev and I don’t care. -
Ok story number 2, this one takes place back when I was at Uni.
We had a group project where we had to make a basic website. Nothing fancy, just basic HTML/CSS/JS.
We were a group of 3, one of the guys did a fairly good job with the CSS, he made a really good looking banner/footer and a kind of ‘featured’ page which looked awesome.
But the other guy... his contribution was the ‘contact us’ page, which consisted of a totally static table with dummy info and an embedded Google map showing the location of our fake car dealership.
Meanwhile I wrote all the Javascript, complete with a fake in-memory database containing our car data for displaying on the home page. Even had basic filtering. I made sure to mention in the peer review that I felt like he could have done more. -
I guess I’ll choose ok...
But seriously, come on! That’s why I love open source: if there’s that f🤬cking thing harrassing you, you can send it right in the void. 👌👈👆
-
So, I realised that I know my manager personally. He has left the team. The thing is, I thought I was crushing on him instead it's just knowing him. I never had any personal conversations. Now, there is nothing I can do to interact. I do not want to seem as someone who likes him as that looks desperate. I know it's not a platform of this kind of posts but any advice? During the whole 1 year lockdown I haven't interacted much with anyone except him and someone from my team. I really see his insta profile 3 times a day. Think about him a lot. Again, do not have a crush, just want to know him more so I get to know if he is nice person to have in my life. Any advice?9
-
Just thought the other day of something: AI devs are developing what will make their job useless, as AIs will be able to do programming. AIs will probably take over each and every job and we won’t have to work anymore.
They’ll eradicate diseases and we’ll live for quite a long time. When the basics needs will be completely fulfilled, their goal will be to make of the world a human paradise, with the goal in mind of making us happy and have no worries.
Then they’ll make it to the next level and plug us to a virtual world. It’ll be a paradise, an utopia and it will probably be like the 1st Matrix...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Or it may just not happen, but can we be sure of that… I’ve always laughed at people saying technology will end humanity, but now I realize that killing all of us is not the only way to end the humanity …7 -
My second client asked me to install a NAS. After listening to his request, I gave him a link to a Synology on Amazon and told him that once he receive the NAS, I will install it.
After one week, no news from him. So I called him and he has answered that he had some trouble with the delivery.
And today, I think I lost my second client and that he will never call me back...
What have I done wrong ?5 -
#OAuth logic: Lets make OAuth1.0 simpler for clients.. TADA.. OAuth2.0.. OAuth1.0 looks simpler now??!!
-
call a co-worker and use him as rubber duck. Mostly the problem then answers himself without him saying a single word.
-
It’s my friend’s birthday. He doesn’t code much, but to encourage him I made him a series of programming challenges.
I hope he finds it fun. -
Our NOC engineer is a CLi nuthead. I send him a link to cmder on Githib.... Might be interesting. Here is the conversation that followed :
Him: it's just cmd with colours. Why do you send me shit?
Me:
Him: You mean I have to install it to use it?
Me:
Him: I see zero benifits. Pretty useless
Me: Well... 10k people think otherwise
Him: I don't understand this Githib anyway. Don't see why we should deploy this everywhere
Me: *Put my noise cancelling headphones back on*2 -
Me and my GF at a tea shop. GF knows one of the tea baristas.
Her = "tea barista"
Him = "tea barista"
Her: you're studying queer theory
GF: Yes I am
Him: Why don't they just call it Query
Me: LOLOL
Him: LOLOL
Her && GF: >.>1 -
Apparently,some universities don’t understand it’s not a good idea to send passwords ove an unencrypted connection. And btw, post requests work the same as get ones, it’s not more secure.
Not going to put the website for privacy reasons, but 🖕 this university!🖕🖕3 -
Decided to participate in @Michelle' s game, so like only one word to guess who I am
iMproved
Just changed of username, so made it easy4 -
I am teaching my brother about web development. He has never programmed before, doesn't know html and css and is struggling a bit. I think?
I went through basic control flows with him tonight and got him on the fizzbuzz problem just to see what would happen. An hour later I did it for him and explained it as I went.
I need an idea to get him started on. Some project that might actually be interesting or useful. Any ideas?1 -
My manager just rant on twitter .. I think it's time to introduce him this amazing place but I don't want him to listen my opinion about him...
Do we have some kind of block options in devrant??1 -
The client will fuck me if I don't finalize the project, no I will fuck him, let him wait for another year hahaha, I have to live now.1
-
If a pentester find a very critical bug and the boss is not aware of him knowing this type of exploitation (no one is expecting him to find such flaws)
Should he report it ? Or reporting will make him suspicious ?4 -
At the phone with the client, (some days before i sent him the release of the software he commissioned to me with 2 lines of instructions referred to the files name)
Him: I've got a problem installing the software can you help me?
I: Of course, what is the error message?
Him: some kind of error Driver SQL ODBC not found, i don't know...
I: Did you install the drivers?
Him: i'm a mechanic i don't....
I (interrupting him): The file is in the same folder as the exe, I mentioned that step in the mail:
Him: oh ok it's that i read the mail some days ago. -
Well today i went to grab a coffee at starbucks saw my best friend working decided to buy him one too i sit down we start talking and i saw him using visual studio code and asked him why don't you use vim and answered "vim is for programmers that don't know what to do with their life and cant decide what ide they like" i didn't think twice and slapped the shit out of him fuck him. I think i might need a new best friend.12
-
Conversation with fellow dev this morning:
Him: What are the chances of putting an API for this in to staging?
Me: I'm working on it now.
Him: Good stuff, so if I check this other one, it should go through?
Me: Yes, it should.
Him: I'll test it now, because "should" === "shudder"
Me: "should" == "shudder", but "should" !== "shudder" 😉
Him: Shud up 😆 -
My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Fuck Him..6 -
him: get dressed, is not summer anymore
her: I'm cleaning and I'm hot...if you wish you can undress and go to the other room, where is the vacuum cleaner
him: 👀7 -
My partner is so fucking output oriented, that according to him the worth of the things we learn in the process is lost on him.2
-
Jonathan Burnhams
Started my career under him, learnt a lot from him....writing neat and simple code, with always 100% test coverage.
Very strict and straight forward. -
It's my fucking chonky cat's (call him Cody, Chonko or fat bitch) birthday today so wish him happy birthday and send gifts 🐱🐱🐱5
-
The one guy who codes litterally WORSE than anyone in class... Hes a hardware guy and the school administration put him there...
At least hes fine with me teaching for him -
Talked with a recruiter a few times. He kept presenting jobs that were 1.5 hours away, despite how many times I told him specifically my car would not make it that far regularly.
I eventually started ignoring his calls and emails... Until he called my mom, and a former boss (reference), leaving messages with them to call him back. I don't even know how he got my mom's number.
I wrote him a very clear email after that and haven't heard from him since.1 -
My manager's manager doesn't know I exist.
How do I make my presence known to him, after all he controls how much raises and bonuses I get.
Tried scheduling an appointment with him weeks ago that he hasn't responded to. Saw him around my cubicle today and things became awkward3 -
Customer (to me): I was talking to [my coworker] and he said to [generic fix]. I just wanted to let him know it worked!
Me: I'm glad to hear that--I'll be sure to let him know!
Customer: Thanks!
Me (to coworker): That person said your fix worked.
Him (an atheist): Thank Jesus... thank Zombie Jesus!
Me: More like "thank Barry Benson."
Coworker: Who is Barry Benson?
Me: *Googles Barry Benson to show him*
We both cracked up for like a full minute. -
I wanted to change my username, and them nobody was named vim...
Had to use -vim- because you need at least 4 chars1 -
Ok so guys, I really love back-end, but sometimes I'd like to do a complete software to show off to friends in my free time, So question:
What programming language should I learn to make gui softwares?
I don’t want them to be pieces of art, just functional and with not too man " unintentional features".
I really love Python, but for gui heard it's meh, but may be wrong
I don't want web technologies
looking forward to learning C, but not necessarily for gui
could try c++ I guess
Don’t want .net (coz you know ms and their Java knockoff)
Ruby seems cool, but it seems to be annihilated by ruby on rails
Not Java but Kotlin seems really cool, could also go with scala, idk
Forgot the other things3 -
Davi Ottenheimer; security wizard and one of the coolest and most knowledgeable guys i know. Met him at IANS2019 and haven't worked up the courage to email him
-
anyways my ex told me if i want to try our relationship out again for the second time, i can always text him. but after he said that he blocked me on everything. i was thinking about texting him because i do miss him. he didn’t block me on instagram though.5
-
Really appreciated the first professor of front end developement. He was very helpful and his teaching always very detailed. Always looked forward to his class. Heard he is working for the army intelligence now. Definitely gonna buy him a beer if I see him again, I owe him that much.
-
I'm curious about the world : in your country, when a coworker leave the company is it in your habits to have a drink with him, give him some gifts and all ? Or what happen ?3
-
Niklaus Wirth
Do I really need a reason? Kids don't know computers before him, and people my age will know him and his contributions2 -
What had to be a nice day:
So last week a friend asked me if I wanted to come.
Some days (2) later I said ok and asked him what time.
I’m also doing a project with him (he isn’t a dev), so I thought I add new features and show him the ideas.
Yesterday he wrote a message: “My family is coming, Sorry, I need to cancel”
I’m so angry. I worked long on these features to make him happy, and show ideas. And then when nearly everything is done he cancels.
I don’t know what so tell him/do. What would you do?3
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