This is how eldritch beings get you these days.

No more whispers of immortality,or to bring back a loved one.

Just straight up ultra fast broadband.

@retoor, your website on mobile has an AI window I can't close. Can you fix this?

So yeah... This guy just copied and pasted the same 5 lines over and over again. 5 lines that do the collection of values for variables, setup call, and then an API call for different CRMs based on name. Repeated 7 times for each of the CRMs that we support. On top of the insane switch statement which is actually only used once to check if it's not null and matches within the switch statement. See the following loose but true example of this shit show I'm dealing with.

```pseudo-code-example
switch(crm)
case crm1
case crm2
case crm3
// (keeps going like this)
var temp = true
default
var temp = false

if (temp)
if (crm="crm1")
crm1.setup()
crm1.values(foo, bar, baz,...)
...
if (crm="crm2")
crm2.setup()
crm2.values(foo, bar, baz,...)
...
// Yup still keeps going like this
```
This absolutely insane mess was finally refractored by me to be an actual factory and not this absolute senseless murder to my mind.

Did you know the moon mission would have been a complete bust if one guy, the day before, hadn't looked at the error codes. The same error codes that were continually popping up on the console during the dissent onto the moon. If it weren't for him they would not have known what those error codes were for and would have aborted the mission.

Switch to rust, that'll fix it. 🥴

Lately I've been noticing a lot more errors in spelling lately in articles. And I'm beginning to wonder if this is all being done on purpose, a small way to let people know that the article was not written by AI.

Now, why would a US Gov Intern be telling me about my Lyft account?

Throw it in the trash

I am of the firm belief that a function should always return just one type.

I think it's the most convoluted thing that a function should be allowed to return any kind of type.

I've seen shit like return a string when something is valid and then a boolean if it's not valid.

To me, that kind of flexibility has some funky code smell.

I'm looking at you WordPress 🤨

That's alot of pronouns but one that feels like me. huhuhuhu

Also I guess fairies are in.

It looks like this website attended every single course it offers and graduated with honors in "Maximalism and the Fine Art of Digital Clutter"!

https://durgasoft.com/

This bit of code I wrote made me outwardly laugh. I'm losing my mind over here, and my team will look down on me and the stupid shit I'm doing.

Supervisor: *starts meeting*
Me: *joins*
S: Hi, thanks for joining
M: Yup, what's up
S: I wanted to set up this 1 on 1 to talk about how you're doing and your progress.
M: OK...
S: As you know we're supposed to do a 3 month review.
M: OK... Sure... *looks at calendar*

//It has been 5.8 months since I've been at this company.

I'm digging around in Microsoft's CI/CD for VSCode and hilarity ensued

Them: You have 6 days to build this frontend page for our wordpress site.
Me: Ok...
*proceeds to spend 4 days trying to arse my way towards a semi reasonable bootstrapped website based on the existing website's styling.*
Me: *Presents website*, so... uh... yeah, I don't usually do frontend stuff, I'm more of a backend dev, but here's what I could do.
Them: This looks like absolute horseshit.
Me: So what do you not like about it?
Them: All of it. It doesn't look anything like the wireframe that I gave you.
Me: Ok... So let me get this straight, you want it to look exactly like how you designed it in your wireframe? *wireframe looks like a child drew it*
Them: Yes! Is that so hard?
Me: I mean, it's a little hard. I'm not exactly a front end developer. Aside from that, I think this design is not very user-friendly.
Them: we don't care about your opinions, OP. Get back in there and make it look exactly like the wireframe.
Me: Ok.
*proceeds to go to fiverr, and contract someone else to do it for me while I get to do fun stuff in the back end.* 😂

----

We'll see what they think of the project when it gets back to me. Wish me luck guys.

Just two Indian dudes fighting it out I guess

And then the gay mathematician asked me, are you a ⊥ or a ⊤

I don't know enough to survive.

New 2 weeks notice: "for
the next 2 weeks you're gonna notice
that I'm not here"

Had a boss that was not going to let me keep our original data around as a backup, because they said "if you're that convinced that we need the backup around then you must not write very good software". In short, their way of saying I must be a shit developer if I want backups.

Nah bro we keep backups because there's bound to be fuckups, I'm trying to plan, not play petty mind games and stroke your ego.

Oh man... I fucked up. I spent almost 36-40 hours in 3 days trying to fix a bug, that was quite literally a single, two word fix.

Change `Key` to `Value.State`

I burned that time into the weekend. I'm both satisfied and dissatisfied with this decision.

Stop coding, go touch some grass!

Not directly programming related, but damn if I'm not going to start signing off all my emails with "consider it and perform" from now on.

Strange app got downloaded on my phone. I haven't visited any clothing stores lately...

Hiring for my startup right now and this guy decided he's better than what we can provide.
Guy has maybe 6 or 7 years of college, "walked away from" a doctorate, whatever that means, and what looks like 2.5 years at a previous startup, 1 month as a freelancer on web development. But look out! He's beyond startups now.

Blocked me too... 😂

I just bought hitgub.co
Honestly have no regerts about it.
Idk what to do with it, but I'll figure it out.

New job. Pays more but is fucking boring as hell.
Team is a drag and everything is slow... This is the kind of company I was trying to get away from...

Hey! Heard you like scams.
Seriously, what even is this? I heard about this, but didn't think it would happen to me.
Also based on what they want to be doing with another person's computer can also double as a botnet too.

My company did a test on how many of our users use ad blockers on our site. I was expecting way more, but only 5% of people actually use it... That's really surprising to me.

Has anyone else experienced similar numbers?

I'm so tired yo... I'm on 2 startups, one is mine the other some dude I'm working with. Both sites built in PHP. Another side gig slack bot thing in Node JS. And then 2 day time jobs in which I'm deciding which one to quit out of... 🫠😵💀