!rant
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke."
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke."
Peer 1: "Why d"
Peer 2: "cken "
Peer 3: "road?"
Peer 4: "id th"
Peer 3: "cross"
Peer 1: "e chi"
Peer 5: " the "
Peer 2: "the o"
Peer 4: "To ge"
Peer 1: "side."
Peer 5: "ther"
Peer 2: "t to "

A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

When I was a graduate I often had to do proof of concepts and one had to be done by the weekend, I'd only been given it on the Wednesday. After a few sleepless nights I had it working or so I thought. On the Friday afternoon the CTO had a look at it and spotted a bug, he told me about it and I stayed in the office until about 10 when I finally managed to get some kind of fix in place. I emailed him told him I thought but was working and shouldn't happen again.

A few hours later no response I get a phone call from him screaming, shouting and swearing calling me useless and a waste of space etc. Etc. To the point I logged in desperately trying to fix the issue in a very hastily written integration and ended up having quite a major panic attack woke up on the floor and immediately went back to work. On the Saturday morning one of the senior Devs logged in and managed to fix it in the database and everything went fine in the end.

I went into work on Monday fully expecting to be fired from the way the CTO was speaking to me, I went to my line manager at the time and he just said don't worry. I left it in his
hands and things went back to normal. That call put a pretty serious dent in my confidence for years, but I learned a few valuable lessons which I stick to today.

Never work on serious shit after 6, use a second mobile for work which is turned off at 5 o'clock, properly test all fixes and always ALWAYS have someone in between graduates and senior management because honestly they can't handle the shit that's flung from above.

I guess it's a bad rant…

Roses are red,
violets are blue;
If I were a query,
I'd SELECT * FROM you;

!rant

Just sent my first pull request!

Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

#oldbutgold

I think I'll never going to get a devRant stress ball, so i made this instead with my pretty low budget (0.5$).

Is it just me or its difficult for you people to move the thumb over to the upvote button as well?
Maybe it could be changed to like instagram is. Double tap to upvote :)

And here's my dangerously comfortable-and-close-from-the-playstation work setup. In a basement...

Best: "If an AI could replace your job at this company but we would keep you on the payroll, what would you do with your time?"

Worst: "So, you are here for the position of front-end SQL developer?"

I love learning new things, but as I don't use them usually, I forgot them over time. It makes me so sad.

well that explains it...
all i had to do was break them up and now its up and running

I am so obsessed with programming that I am surprised when everyday products just work and do not fall apart when being used.

And also the only witness 😂😂

QA Engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a sfdeljknesv.

How many files are there in your node_module ?/:p

An electronic billboard had an error and it made it look like the sky had an error.
src="Reddit"

I remember that one time I accidentally copy-pasted a pornhub link instead of a trello card's to my commit.

!rant
Sorry, just saw this and it made me laugh... im still laughing...

You'll have to zoom in to read it.

Had 4-5 hours of sleep last night because I had to wake up early this morning for an internal demo of the feature I worked on. It was scheduled early morning because the boss was busy.

I come to the office looking like a zombie, practically sleep walking my way to the office, and guess what... The app server is down! Yay.

I had to reschedule it to right in the middle of lunch time because hey... The boss is busy. Now everyone in the team hates me for ruining their lunch.

Now I'm sitting here, staring at my code, remembering the sweet luxury of sleep.

Why don't we call infinite loops "Groundhog cycles"?

How do you guys pronounce daemon?

Dee-Mon or day-mon

Console.log("after");

I've just read my code from project finished 16 month ago. Let's just say that was an eyes opening experience.

So, I needed a package installed on one of our Unix servers. The package manager--which is obsolete garbage--was failing with a message which can only be described as a variant of "Go fuck yourself". A quick Google search didn't help.

3 espressos and an eternity later, I have descended into a manic state. My hair has turned grey and I have started lactating. As a last-ditch effort, I try a new search query on Google, and the first link takes me to a forum with a thread discussing a similar issue. The last post in the thread has a solution which works for me. After fixing the issue, everything in the world feels right and I decide to thank the generous poster, who is like an angel to me at this point.

Guess what? The poster is none other than me. 8 months back, I had created a user account on the forum just to post the solution to a similar issue I had on another server.

So...
Why do elegant programmers use Java??

It is classy! :D

Just debugged an angularjs app for 2 hours to find out that I spelled "response" "reponse" as an http get request success callback function argument. I hate my life.

Oh wow. That timing though.

Sometimes... 😂😥