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Search - "coding "jokes""
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Confession: I am not a dev, I actually work on an IT helpdesk telling people how to turn on their PC's everyday.
It's soul destroying!!
My boyfriend is an Apple dev though, and I only joined DevRant to see if it would help me understand what he talks about 24/7...
I have very basic coding knowledge but still find this all so fascinating!
You guys are so smart, and can literally create anything in the blink of an eye.
Why are you guys generally so very under appreciated??
You also have a fantastic sense of humour! Haven't laughed at so many nerd-jokes in years!
Loving DevRant so far!
Keep up the great work! :)31 -
Just reached 100+!!
Anyhow. I started coding prettymuch 365 days ago. My mate decided to launch his company and figured it was a good idea to start it with good friends who knew fuck all at coding.
Fyi, the dude can code 15 hours straight everyday for about a year (no shit thats what i saw).
Since he taught me html css javascript(even if i still suck abit at js). He made me remake the whole bootstrap in react by adding this new lib styled-components and test everything(95% coverage :)).
He also taught me webpack and rollup. Json schma forms,http requests redux, redux logic, and all the routing shit...he obliged me to i plement RR4 on release and is now making me overlook the merge requests of my other collegue (yes he made me a git pro,almost).
And now i have to work long distance by studying java, spring, oauth2 and start working on our api.
O yeah,and i went from microsoft to full on linux!!!
To be honest i thought i was gonna die this year. (Also have a kid on the way :)).
Devrant has been like going to the psychologist :) everytime shit hit the fan i realized every one has the same problems :)
Thanks to the community i can also now even give out nerd jokes :)
(L)Devrant11 -
Well now, I wouldn't want to mention anyone specific since talking about someone behind their back and calling them 'weird' isn't very nice. 🙄 But absolutely HYPOTHETICALLY speaking, if I HAD a weird coworker, they would probably...
- ... strut about the office, telling all how great yet underpaid their work is
- ... write lots of 'concepts' because coding is for lowly programmers
- ... insist that the code they have to do when boss is looking is simply too complicated for unit testing, and 'that's great!'
- ... brag about their/wear to work a ridiculous array of ties in every colour imaginable, when everyone else shows up casual
- ... trap people into listening to them talk for hours about...
-- ... ties
-- ... their misspent youth
-- ... how awesome they are/were/will be
-- ... why it's a good idea to eat cheese
- ... never let me forget I'm female, coz *insert BS reasons why all devs must by nature be male here*
- ... send me little unsolicited notes and mails with funny (sexist) jokes *har har*
- ... be let go, at which point everyone else discovers why they had so much time that they could spend chatting away at the watering hole
- ... earn the eternal hatred of anyone picking up the pieces of their 'work'
- ... try to steal our customers away who will laugh in their bloody face
Just my theory, of course..3 -
This is more of a wishful thinking scenario......but language/tech stack/whatever bashing.
Look, I get it, we like development, we would not be here if we didn't like it. But as my good friend @Stuxnet has mentioned in the past, making this a personality trait is fucking retarded, lame, small, and overall pathetic. I agree with this sentiment 100%
Because of this a lot of people have form some sort of elitist viewpoint concerning the technologies that people use, be it Java, C#, C++, Rust, PHP, JS, whatever, the same circle jerk of bashing on shit just seems completely fucking retarded. I am hoping for a new mentality being that most of us are younger, even if you are a 50+ year old developer, maturity should give you a different perspective, but alas, immaturity and a bitchy attitude carried throughout years of self dick sucking implications would render this null.
I could not give two fucks if the dude next to me is coding his shit in whatever as long as best practices are followed, proper documentation is enforced, results are being brought to our customers(which regardless of how much you try to convince us, none of your customers are fucking elite level) and happiness is ensured, then so fucking be it.
Gripes bitches and complaints are understandable, I dislike a couple of things about my favorite tools, and often wish certain features be involved in my particular tech stacks, does this make stuff bad? no, does it make me or anyone else less of a developer,? no so why give a fuck? bitch when shit bites you in the ass when someone does not know what the fuck they are doing with a language that permits writing bullshit. Which to be honest ALL of them fucking allow. Not one is saved from this. But NOT knowing how to work a solution, or NOT understanding a tech stack does not give you AUTOMATIC FULL insight on how x technology operates, thinking as such is so fucking arrogant and annoying.
But I am getting tired of looking at posts from Timmy, a 18 year old "dev" from whothefuckcares bitch about shit when they have never even made a fucking penny out of their "development" endeavors just because they read some dickhead's opinion on the internet regarding x tech stack and believes that adopting their bullshit troll ass virgin ideas makes them l337.
Get your own fucking opinion on things, be aggressive and stand fucking straight, maybe get some fucking pussy(or dick, whatever) and for fucks's sake learn to interact with other fucking human beings, take a fucking run, play games, break out from your whinny bitch ass shell, talk to that person that intimidates you, take a run, do yoga, martial arts anything that would break you out from being such a small little bitch.
Just fucking do something that keeps you from shitting on people 24/7 365/ a year.
We used to bitch about incompetent managers, shit bosses, fucking ludicrous assignments. Retarded shit that some other dev did, etc, etc. Seems like every other fucking retard getting into this community starts with stupid ass JS/PHP/Python/Java/C#/ whatever jokes and you idiots keep upvoting that shit. Makes those n00bs gain credability. Fuck me shit is so pathetic.
basically, make dev rant great again.
No fuck off and have a beer, or tea or whatever y'all drink.13 -
Either it Works or It Doesn't. 😈
There's no in-between for programmers.
Right?joke/meme stackoverflow programming jokes coder programming programming memes i love coding coding memes programmer12 -
I have got so much of free time that this Quarantine has got me thinking What Should I Name my Class?
How Long do You take to name your class?8 -
!rant
So family doesn't really know coding. Just me and my little sister. But then my dad suddenly made jokes with loops and stuff. I have no idea where he learned it. They're not actually accurate but I really love it when he does that.2 -
Since it's 42 & I am fond of the number..
The 'most fun' I had was making a completely useless feature for our customers that we (our team) knew will be useless (&wrong) once finished and we will have to rewrite it. But we had to do it nevertheless till the end of the week, since the customer is the king. It turned out hilarious and fun because everyone was making jokes on the floor about what idiotic stuff we code and implement. Even the boss was like: yes, yes, I know but please do it, you can rewrite it later to not do anything, just leave the button on gui. It was crazy it was fun, a little bit of mindless coding to lighten up the atmosphere and it (coding & jokes) brought closer the whole colective reaponsible for that particular customer. -
Kids after making a simple calculator project school projectjoke/meme it python computer life of programmer memes jokes/meme programmingmemes meme cs coding school9
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Hello DevRant community! It’s been a while, almost 5 years to be exact. The last time I posted here, I was a newbie, grappling with the challenges of a new job in a completely new country. Oh, how time flies!
Fast forward to today, and it’s been quite the journey. The codebase that once seemed like an indecipherable maze is now my playground. The bugs that used to keep me up at night are now my morning coffee puzzles. And the team, oh the team! We’ve moved from awkward nods to inside jokes and shared victories.
But let’s talk about the real hero here - the coffee machine. The unsung hero that has fueled late-night coding sessions and early morning stand-ups. It’s seen more heated debates than the PR comments section. If only it could talk, it would probably write its own rant about the indecisiveness of developers choosing between cappuccino and latte.
And then there are the unforgettable ‘learning opportunities’ - moments like accidentally shutting down the production server or dropping the customer database. Yes, they were panic-inducing crises of apocalyptic proportions at that time, but in hindsight, they were valuable lessons. Lessons about the importance of thorough testing, proper version control, reliable backup systems, and most importantly, owning up to our mistakes.
So here’s to the victories and failures, the bugs and fixes, the refactorings and 'wontfix’s. Here’s to the incredible journey of growth and learning. And most importantly, here’s to this amazing community that’s always been there with advice, sympathy, humor, and support.
Can’t wait to see what the next 5 years bring! 🥂3 -
when you read jokes about coding one after an alother, and enjoy it. you realized you are Nerd!!! devRant :)1
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Observation rather than a rant.
Some of the best, most experienced devs I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and working with have invariably all been the most humble and least opinionated. Mention (x language that might commonly draw disdain) and you don't hear boos and hisses and jokes being thrown around, you hear considered, succinct observations about how, if they were to work with this language, there'd be various coding styles and rules that they'd suggest working to in order to avoid some common pitfalls and frustrations.
Mention a language or framework that they know little about, or heck, they know quite a *lot* about but in which they wouldn't consider themselves an expert, and they're the first to suggest drafting in help. They're more than happy to listen to bring themselves up to speed, even if that "outside help" comes from someone considerably younger and less experienced than them.
This has particularly come to mind as of late as I've found myself working with both ends of the spectrum, but it's been my experience for many years now. Have many others had the same experience?2 -
[SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED, PLZ HELP]
I am going to school again for like 4 days from tomorrow (don't ask me why, blame the government) and I feel a bit depressed. I just don't know what I have done in the last 2 years.
What I learned:
- Bunch of stupid facts from devRant
- C# stuffs
- Games are expensive
- Music production
And.... that's it, tbh
I don't really have "PERSONAL PROJECTS" that everyone is bragging about, I just have bunch of empty projects with a cool name but just Program.cs in it.....
I am worried of what to do now.
I just feel I made the wrong choice going with C#.
I just feel I should have went with JS.
With JS, you can do
- React Native + Cordova + Titanium + etc and make native android/ios/wp apps
- The WWW stuffs
- Electron --> Cross platform desktop apps (win/mac/linux)
- UnityScript (deprecated, but whatever) --> Games
So, what I am seeing now is a thick fog in the way to my future + career etc.....
I am stuck rn.
Please help.
Should I continue with my pace and learn more C# and the things I do rn, or change the language and start from scratch, or as a last resort, leave the "make stuff by coding" industry and go to music industry, or just go to the airport and do planespotting and upload in youtube to earn money?
Serious advice please, and no jokes about C# and JS. These languages may suck, but YOUR language may suck more.10 -
1 - I love coding because since when I was a kid I really loved to solve problems and create things
2 - I always tried to understand how computers worked, and how could yo make a program because when I was a kid I was almost always on the computer and my dream was to create a virus 😂
3 - I was studying my baccalaureate and I hadn't decided what to study in the university. I was only playing videogames and installing software to make jokes. So, my computing teacher taught me to code in VB.net and how to manage a local network so I decided to study and IT degree before going to the university, and when I was studying that I falled in love with programming so I'm currently in the university studying software development engineer -
Guys. I started with JS, now primarily code in Python, and learning Java for robotics. Coding on and off for the past 4 years. I understand most things, I can tell what code does, but I think I’m a shit programmer. I also find myself running out of ideas for simple things. I’m sad because of this cause I get most programming jokes, and live in this community.
The reason why I’m saying this is because of someone in robotics (keep in mind that it’s my first year in robotics, first time coding in Java) said (jokingly) that he thought I “was a good programmer”. Probs overthinking this, but still tears me up, realizing he’s probably right.4 -
wow, to think about it , I have not been really 'excited' about stuff for last few years...
Now its like yeah, this is all a rat race...gotta learn this , learn that ,learn everything...but not really excited about it..Maybe feel like a thug-life boss if I get paid or recognised for my work...
However this is a race I am happy to run in,I like coding, like nerdy/smart tech jokes , like learning new stuff, and like my programming life.
A day without opening my laptop is really a day I feel sad but not the other way round. -
Convo b/w female software engineer and her boyfriend;
him-Hey babe
her-Hello world;
him-??
her-Ohh no, I meant to say hy babe, actually u r my whole world;
him-Ooo pls!...wt were u dnh anyways?
her-been doing coding for last 12 hrs with boss;
him-gosh!! ...did u eat?
her-0;
him-??
her- I mean false;
him-false?
her-sorry , I meant no;
him-ur mom called , so call her
her-mom();
him-WTF?????
her-I will call her...dont worry;
him-I think u should rest for a while
her-while(project!=over) {work();}
him-U r enjoying this...irritating me...aren't u?
her-what? :)
him-When will u come home?
her-if(boss==leaves){cout<<"soon"<<endl;}
him-Now its too much...its really annoying...are u getting me? Have u lost ur mind?
her-ERROR 404....mind not found!
him-u do realise...I m not getting any of ur jokes
her-JokeOutOfBoundException
him-Are u drunk? How many eyes do I have?
her-1
him-Idiot , I have 2 eyes
her-oh sorry I counted from 0
him-i think we should break up
her-oh no!!, dont break; continue;
him-thats it, urBF.exit()
her-No wait..... ; is imp , write like....urBF.exit();3 -
!coding
Fuck I am such an idiot. I was talking to a super awesome girl on the phone and she was laughing at some jokes and I had the great idea to tell her some darker jokes and of course she didn't laugh at all and got offended. I think I'll always find a way to fuck it up.12 -
how do you deal with workplace bullies? or is it just me who feels certain types of talks and actions are a bit intimidating and contributes to a hostile workplace environment?
i usually feel this around people of power. like say you are a TL and you are casually flexing the power to impact X guy's KPI scores in response to a funny taunt about holidays, while some guy Y from same team is in proximity whose leaves are not yet approved, isn't it some kind of intentional bullying?
or like there is some discussion goin on with TL and dev, where dev is trying to justify some reason for something, and suddenly the SSE jumps in between, start agreeing with the TL, adds a few jokes deviating the situation and the dev is left with his reasons and justifications undermined?
or like when some messup occurs by the team and TL suddenly pulls out a threatening card citing "people spending extra time in tt/leaving early" or some other reason as cause/punishment of messup?
Why do people of power need to make us remember that there is someone above us? and why does this need to be done in public?
lets say even if there are some notorious elements in team, who does take leaves on important days, and who are giving poor performance due to slacking/TT/early signoff, why should i be also told about it? just to get a warning?
And let's assume that there ARE people whose work is not causing the mess. They ARE doing good timely work and there are no complaints (not even the ones that don't reach public ear) , how should they not get intermediated by such situations?
I will not say i am the most perfect person doing the best of coding, but if i am being constantly kept in an atmosphere of fear and power; and being constantly cut/over powered during my discussions, i might end up doing mistakes as well11 -
This is more of a story than an actual rant, but here it goes.
I was at my class and we were doing a small introduction about JavaScript. Our teacher tells us to build a small website using buttons and text boxes in order to make a calculator. He then says that, afterwards, we must copy and paste a segment of JavaScript code which he supplied on the PDF file (our teacher uses PDF files as some sort of worksheets).
I paste his code correctly on my HTML document and I try to test it. On the first box, I put 10, and on the second box, I also put 10. I was expecting that in the result box there would appear 20, but, to my surprise, nothing happened.
Instead of asking my teacher what was wrong, I decided to pay a visit to my good old friend Stack Overflow and I learned how to use getElementById().
I had some experience with coding earlier so I just sorted myself out. When my teacher comes to check my work, I said that his code wasn't working so I googled a solution and eventually came up with one.
He said: "Well, that's weird. That code is right, at least it worked for me."
I outsmarted my teacher.
I also realised why there are so much "it worked on my machine" jokes.2 -
Once upon a time in the exciting world of web development, there was a talented yet somewhat clumsy web developer named Emily. Emily had a natural flair for coding and a deep passion for creating innovative websites. But, alas, there was a small caveat—Emily also had a knack for occasional mishaps.
One sunny morning, Emily arrived at the office feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a brand new project. The task at hand involved making some updates to a live website's database. Now, databases were like the brains of websites, storing all the precious information that kept them running smoothly. It was a delicate dance of tables, rows, and columns that demanded utmost care.
Determined to work efficiently, Emily delved headfirst into the project, fueled by a potent blend of coffee and enthusiasm. Fingers danced across the keyboard as lines of code flowed onto the screen like a digital symphony. Everything seemed to be going splendidly until...
Click
With an absentminded flick of the wrist, Emily unintentionally triggered a command that sent shivers down the spines of seasoned developers everywhere: DROP DATABASE production;.
A heavy silence fell over the office as the gravity of the situation dawned upon Emily. In the blink of an eye, the production database, containing all the valuable data of the live website, had been deleted. Panic began to bubble up, but instead of succumbing to despair, Emily's face contorted into a peculiar mix of terror and determination.
"Code red! Database emergency!" Emily exclaimed, wildly waving their arms as colleagues rushed to the scene. The office quickly transformed into a bustling hive of activity, with developers scrambling to find a solution.
Sarah, the leader of the IT team and a cool-headed veteran, stepped forward. She observed the chaos and immediately grasped the severity of the situation. A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
"Alright, folks, let's turn this catastrophe into a triumph!" Sarah declared, rallying the team around Emily. They formed a circle, with Emily now sporting an eye-catching pink cowboy hat—an eccentric colleague's lucky charm.
With newfound confidence akin to that of a comedic hero, Emily embraced their role and began spouting jokes, puns, and amusing anecdotes. Tension in the room slowly dissipated as the team realized that panicking wouldn't fix the issue.
Meanwhile, Sarah sprang into action, devising a plan to recover the lost database. They set up backup systems, executed data retrieval scripts, and even delved into the realm of advanced programming techniques that could be described as a hint of magic. The team worked tirelessly, fueled by both caffeine and the contagious laughter that filled the air.
As the hours ticked by, the team managed to reconstruct the production database, salvaging nearly all of the lost data. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. And in the end, the mishap transformed into a wellspring of inside jokes and memes that permeated the office.
From that day forward, Emily became known as the "Database Destroyer," a moniker forever etched into the annals of office lore. Yet, what could have been a disastrous event instead became a moment of unity and resilience. The incident served as a reminder that mistakes are inevitable and that the best way to tackle them is with humor and teamwork.
And so, armed with a touch of silliness and an abundance of determination, Emily continued their journey in web development, spreading laughter and code throughout the digital realm.2