My beautiful code now transforming into ugly messy code. Damn you deadline 😠

A recursive bar walks into itself.

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

I just experienced my first sleep paralysis. Where do I submit a bug report?

If you name your UI controls like TextBox1.... TextBox24.... Then GO AND FUCKING DIE

Anyone pumped for Ubuntu 17.10 using the Gnome Shell? Looks really clean, seems legit to me.

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

I don't judge people based on race, color or gender.
I judge people based on the software they use.

This is me when some software have one month free subscription for new accounts

I used to work in a call center for a local hospital.

One night, all of our lines are swamped. Literally no time for a break between phone calls, +15 minute wait times. I answer the next call:

Me: "Its a marvelous Monday at AskIT, how may I help you?"

Doctor: "This is Dr. [Noone Care]. I need you to fix my password now."

Me: "Absolutely! You should be able to enter a new password now."

Doctor: "MY HANDS ARE NOT FOR PASSWORDS, MY HANDS ARE FOR SURGERY!"

😩 So glad I don't work for doctors anymore. Oh and the best part is, he had selected the general phone queue, rather than the doctor queue (~3 minute wait time instead).

Why does the Python developer have crooked teeth?

Because he doesn't use braces

Side projects what got me job three times. Move your lazy ass and work on your projects AND actually finish at least one 😒

Never ever lose hope , even if you get rejected multiple times. YOU WILL GET A JOB!!

Do side projects, even if they're small. If you already have completed side projects, show them off. Employers love to see your efforts and eat that up.

- It's a game, play it
- Come prepared
- It's better to say "not sure" or "don't know" than bullshit
- Don't write in the CV (or mention during the interview) things you don't want to be asked about
- Sound eager and enthusiastic about your profession because no one likes a downer
- the interview is a sales meeting, you are the goods, be sure to be a good salesman

Let's just appreciate the fact the Unix timestamp will reach 1500000000 on july 14th :)

Thanks for the suggestion Google.

Strange how Buddha accurately predicted the ransomware attacks :/

Boy: I like you 😘
Girl: I have a boyfriend
Boy: sudo I like you
Girl: I like you too 😘

😂

Keep a tab on people who use spaces for indentation.

Installing Nvidia drivers in Arch linux right now. Tell my family I love them.

Remember the days when 8GB of ram was more than enough? Hahahah...hah.

Try this way. Let's see what happens! . 😜😜

The longer you code, the darker your IDE becomes. #000000 for life

Front-end be like...

devRant needed my "physical address" to send me stickers.
I sent them: 8D:*E:85:12:**:**

Waiting for the stickers... :-/

Windows
Best for handling stupid clients

Mac
Best for looking professional

Linux
Best price.

One week left, then VACATION

Today at lunch we were talking about the bathroom conditions. At some point I commented:

"I don't go to the one closest to my office, the WiFi reception is terrible there."

*dead silence*

I can't be the only one, right? (posting this from the bathroom, BTW)

Word.