I'm a bit ashamed for laughing on this 😂😂😅

When you run into a supposedly deterministic piece of code that behaves differently each time you run it for God knows what reason

My boss has never programmed before. Recently, he decided that I should print out all the code for an admittedly rather small project (10k lines of Java code, 200 pages printed out), and then have me explain every line to him.

Luckily, he didn't get past 'public static void main', especially since I hadn't even bothered to print out more than that!

Found this in our codebase, apparently one of my co-workers had written this

Boss: Who knows VB?
Me: I once wrote a calculator
Boss: Good enough! You will edit the companies biggest VB Application.

Lesson learned. When your Boss asks if you know a programming language you do not really know, you are like John Snow: Know nothing

"Forgive me" is quite a common comment in GitHub projects.

#besterrorhandling

Are you kidding me? 😂
This progress bar is the best

I'll restart this web server, it will take only 10 seconds.
After 3 hours.

"your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, CV, a gang sign, a dragon blood"

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.