When you leave for lunch after starting a build. Only to return and realize you forgot to actually start the build process.. >.<

The team had just created an analytics dashboard web application for a client. During the demo, client asks: "Can we have a download button that saves all the graphs in a powerpoint, 1 graph per slide with a title?"

fixing bugs w/o any idea

There's always that one guy!!!

Here's a favorite of mine. Managers need to be in meetings to be productive. Developers need to stay far away from meetings to be productive. Managers love to drag developers into meetings and then wonder why their productivity is down.

billy swag. lol

The One thing every Dev should know about:
Never Push to production on Friday.

Coworker pushed to production yesterday.
Customer saw it and likes the new features.
Customer also saw a shitpile of Bugs.
Customer is angry and my weekend is runined

That moment when reading devRant is more enjoyable than reading facebook

That one cunt who keeps turning the air con off because he came to work in shorts and sandals and now he feels cold.

So true...😆😆😆

Very true for me at least ^_^

client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.

me: ok, how is it wrong?

client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.

me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.

client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.

me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?

clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.

repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.

client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?

me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.

anybody else?

I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

see you in hell mac mini, the raspberry pi is taking your place connected to the tv.

when $25 of Linux out performs $300 of apple.

Fun drinking game:

Take a shot every time the support department contacts a developer over a previously answered question.

Fucking hate these emails with a broken unsubscribe button. Rot in hell, assholes.

I definitly need my own wifi...

Have a customer who took a year+ to do the paperwork for a minor project. Then surprised when my schedule was full with other plans.

Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!