A ten minute task can be finished in a minute when you think in the toilet.

Proven by experience

Difference between C# and Javascript
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
...
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
Javascript: I'll hold your cup of coffee.

This was my birthday cake. Thanks mom!

Interviewer:Explain us deadlock and we'll hire you !

Me:Hire me and I'll explain it to you..

Any devs from CIA's Frankfurt department here? I can't remember if I shut my TV off before I left home, can you check?
KTHXBYE

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

I hate this image - things in 2 states weird me out

adding //To do in my code be like

Most embarrassing and lucky moment on the first week of job.

Me and my best friend were selected in the same company as developers. I was having some trouble with my system. So I mailed the description to our support department. Pop up was displayed from our chat client and person on the other end happened to be a lady. She wanted me to share a team viewer link with click access. So I did it and within 2 minutes of efforts she solved it. I thanked her, closed the chat conversation and started installing few packages. Meanwhile, I was curious to see her as she was really nice throughout the conversation. So I opened LinkedIn, searched for her name and found her profile. I zoomed in her photo and she was a pretty chick. I didn't stop and found her on FB too, and quickly saw all her DPs. I just copied her profile URL and sent it to my friend ( the one that got selected with me ) and told him about my conversation with her. Then I asked my friend
"She's hot. Should I send her a friend request or have to find some more troubles in my pc and talk to her few more times ? :P "
He replied "Dude what are you wanting for ? "
Out of no where, a pop up showed up. It was the girl we were talking about. The exact message was

"You can now close your team viewer session, and we can talk over FB :)"

Embarrassing AF!

Pushed a month of work to production and left the office. Cool guys don't look at explosions

Dealing with a client that won't pay:

Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until the site completely fades away...

Who else think this is awesome

My worst code mistake ever?
About 6 years ago I entered vim.

Hehe..

well, sorry Dave

TIP:
To anyone and everyone ranting about the automatic restart of their Windows 10 system,
Settings > Update > Advanced Options > Notify to schedule restart (instead of Automatic).
Yes, it IS that simple.
God.

2 Days.
Thousands of lines of code analyzed.
Dozens of log files across 6 servers.
Countless pots of coffee.
Much power metal.
...
One line of code.

Bug fixed.

I don't know what to say

Here we go my first rant...

you know shit just got serious when a developer takes off his watch

😆😆😛

How long will that last 😅

Lesson #2731 - A backup on the same device is not a backup.

Me greeting a female friend with a joke: Hey baby, wanna play with my python?
Her: Only if it's well commented and production ready.
Me: I love you.
Her: I know.

Well guy has some trust issues

When I was in my second semester of college I was tasked with creating a file encrypt/decrypt program. Take in normal textfiles and spit out a new random text and symbols file. I worked on it for two weeks and read up on all different encryption types and stuff. I was so excited when it was done. After it was done compiling I tried it out on its own source code. Encrypto.c and named the output file Encrypto.c 😰 The next thing I did was google " best version control and how to use it."

Where did you two meet??😇😇😇

At times I agree