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Skillsjava Linux Bash php sql
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Joined devRant on 8/14/2016
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"If you find an element of your interface requires instructions, then you need to redesign it." - Dan Rubin5
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So, there's this big company in Poland with its name starting with C and having CEO famous for saying that every software developer can be replaced with a finite number of college students.
They recently lost a HUGE government contract and so stories of people working there came to light. My two personal favourites:
1. A tester who has been fired for finding too many bugs and mistakes in their product. He was also told that bugs are to be found by clients on production, not in-house.
2. A programmer who was yelled at by his team leader for "wasting time" on code reviews instead of typing the code. He was also told he hadn't been hired to criticise other people code.
God, I'm so grateful I don't work there.20 -
2 monitors on armatures, PC tower, mac mini, gaming mouse with 17 buttons, Bose speakers, UPS, height-adjustable standing desk, and ~2 miles of cables23
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My 80 year old very absent minded dad made a website, all by himself, using a two decades old book he got from the thrift store.
He's even hosting it himself on an old laptop running Debian, including a redirect to a beautiful nostalgic /~username/index.htm url (not gonna share the link, because his personal details are on there).
The whole site is incredibly carefully crafted, and I'm super proud of him.
Who cares if it's not a React app? The 14 kilobytes of HTML 4.0 markup load in 20-30ms, and it renders pretty much perfectly in every browser including Internet Explorer 4 and Edge.
🤷♂❤️36 -
I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".
So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.
I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)
Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."
Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.
FML8 -
A completely normal workday.
Until suddenly... the Internet was gone. Like completely gone.
Out of nowhere the head of network administration appears right beside me, yelling completely over-pitched straight into my ear "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY ALL SERVICES ARE OFFLINE? WTF HAPPENED TO THE CONNECTION?..."
He disappeared as fast as he had arrived. With my ears still bleeding I got myself a cappuccino.
Several hours later the Internet was back. At the construction site infront of the headquarter the Internet cable was cut.
Wait. What about a second backup cable? It exists. Unfortunately both cables split only after the construction site.
You had one job anonymous engineer...rant everything offline blackout over 500 shops without sap that day cappuccino time my ears still bleeding networking fail1 -
buzzword translations:
"cloud" -> someones computer
"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data
"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else
"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why
"secure" -> https://
"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie
"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk
"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups
"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it40 -
Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.62