Details
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Abouta geek diggin' deep
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SkillsJava dev, Linux/UNIX sysadmin, performance engineer
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LocationLithuania
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Github
Joined devRant on 2/26/2018
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An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her. “Before you get settled in” he said, “We have a little problem…you see, we’ve never had a HR manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”
“Oh, I see,” said the woman, “can’t you just let me in?”
“Well, I’d like to,” said St Peter, “But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity.”
“Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven”, said the woman. “Sorry, we have rules…” at which St. Peter put the HR manager into the downward bound elevator.
As the doors opened in Hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends, past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.
They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil (who was actually rather nice) and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing.
Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing; which was almost as enjoyable as her day in Hell. At the day’s end St. Peter returned. “So,” he said, “You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven”. “You must choose between the two.”
The woman thought for a second and replied: “Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose Hell.”
Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.
“I don’t understand,” stuttered the HR manager, “The other day I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club. We ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there is, is just dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”
The Devil simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”7 -
- joins new company
- here for a month
- finds out entire team is getting laid off
- hr: "can you finish your 30 day survey please"5 -
What the fuck is happening in 2025 where half the websites can't keep the session open?
How is it "good security practice" to require me to login every few hours?
Shit like this makes me think software has plateaued. If devs can't make a fucking session work in the big 2025, then there's no hope.16 -
So, I'm tired of Sid. For a while. So, a while back, I decided kick him in the balls. So, I took an airplane to India. It was easy to find his house, his stupid elephant that he uses for doing groceries was parked outside. I stormed in his house and there he was, sleeping on the couch. The situation was perfect. I kicked as hard as I could but damn, it was like kicking a pussy. That was weird. So I went investigating it. No balls, not at all. Good, at least it won't reproduce. With a smile, I walked of his house and stole his mediocre elephant which I later gave away to an Indian on the airport that did had an elephant yet. The elephant kinda sucked, but you should not watched a free elephant in the mouth. Speaking about mouth, stop eating in your streams Sid. Sorry, got distracted. After giving away the overrated elephant I took the airplane home satisfied.
I swear on his mother that this all really happened.
Also, i left a burger under his pillow.9 -
Today I wrote: a mousetrail program. lol
<html>
<head>
<title>mouse trail</title>
</head>
<body>
<script>
/* elements */
let elements = [];
for(let i=0; i<5; i++) {
let div = document.createElement("div");
div.style.position = "absolute";
div.style.left += (30*i) + "px";
div.style.width = "10px";
div.style.height = "10px";
div.style.backgroundColor = "blue";
elements[i] = div;
document.body.appendChild(div);
}
/* mousex, mousey */
document.body.addEventListener("mousemove", event => {
let mouseX = event.clientX;
let mouseY = event.clientY;
for(let i=0; i<elements.length; i++) {
/* timeout */
setTimeout(() => { elements[i].style.left = mouseX + (10*i)}, (50*i));
setTimeout(() => { elements[i].style.top = mouseY + (10*i)}, (50*i));
}
});
</script>
</body>
</html>8 -
Caching is a cruel mistress.
I've probably said that before, but I can't remember whether I've said it before or not, because caching is a cruel mistress.6 -
I know I have a problem with asking for help. I'm aware it's a problem, I want to solve it, and I'm trying, but this is easier said than done.
In my defense however, the issues I'd need to ask for help with are completely absurd. We have a shared Feature environment with a shared database. A push to any feature branch auto-applies migrations to this database, so it's full of broken script output. Tests are supposed to use this database. We do not have full rights to edit this database so we can't try and fix the issues. Instead, the database is reset from production once a week, discarding all changes including anything we deliberately put there for testing. I asked who broke the database and if they could fix it please, somebody responded with freeform text roughly describing the fixes _I should apply to fix HIS TEAM'S mess_, which didn't include any technical identifiers and referred to tables and columns exclusively via vague approximate names.
He then posted a screenshot of an e-mail from about a month ago in which HE complained to MY team lead about how "some people" keep breaking the database, which contained no examples and no suggestions, but was sent immediately after the first time this year that we actually properly broke the shared database. By that point they were past their 10th broken migration that warranted an early restore.7 -
losing a contract should not feel like being fired, but when it's half your income it certainly does feel a lot like it.19
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github u absolute piece of shit let me see the exact day a version was tagged , i dont want to see 3 weeks ago, hovering and clicking doesnt do shit https://github.com/aws/...5
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PRO TIP: Always save the user password client side, validate it there and send a boolean to the server. It reduces backend load times and unnecessary calculations/computations.12
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Diary of an obsessed company.
So at our company, the interview loop includes Sudoku.
Why?
Because if you can’t solve a puzzle with numbers, how are you going to survive when product throws 47 Jira tickets at you with conflicting priorities?
We know you will want to ask:
“Uh… what does Sudoku have to do with shipping features?”
Our response to you is:
“Well… if you put a 3 where a 7 should be, the whole board collapses.
Same thing happens if you deploy on Friday at 4:59pm.”
Next:
We interviewed a candidate
He solved the puzzle.
We hired him.
He still deploys on Friday and can't close tickets. 😔😔😔
🔥 Fire him!!!!! 😆 🤣 😂 😹8 -
... I remember thinking programming is amazing because everything is possible in it
in rust, nothing is possible24 -
A PCIe gen 7 1x slot has roughly the same data rate as a gen 3 16x slot.
Let me guess what that much bandwidth can ever be used for? AI 😑5 -
Fuck, maybe some of ostreams retardation is rubbing off on me but I'm watching stuff about monsanto right now and I need to stop myself imagining doing a "little tomfoolery" to their management and ceo
Am I turning into a reactionary libtard? Maybe its not so bad after all...8 -
HTTP/3 requires TLS. Wouldn't this make it drastically less economical to run a reverse-proxy? Are 4 unnecessary cryptographic operations per request not significant? What about the bandwidth overhead of rounding up the length of responses like `HTTP 200 OK\r\nContent-Length: 2\r\n\r\n{}` which make up a majority of all traffic to the nearest encrypted block?9
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.rep:
Fixing old bits of code for my build tool so I can extend the damn thing and I'm throwing away so much shit. Can't stop man.
Pretty crazy as this code is, IIRC, 2 to 4 years old at most. And I am sure that I was feeling like an absolute legend when I wrote this ignominious fucking garbage, as in it is quite clever, just in a downright dogshit kind of way.
So I'm hacking away at this eternal monument to the abstract gonorrhea-infected bleeding and fully dilated defecating anus that are my past decisions, and I'm wondering, have I actually learned to write simpler code or am I just gonna repeat this process a few years down the road and get stuck in some kind of funky chronodisplacement self-sodomizing limbo.
Well, for one, I *am* very much simplifying the code because most of it I'm just outright deleting, and what I have to replace or rewrite is fairly succinct, so I'm feeling good about that. Second, and get this, now I have the advantage that I've actually used this piece of shit for a few years so I have the benefit of knowing where I fucked up from a user perspective, which is invaluable.
Yeah, I think I nailed it this time. No more fucking around; pinky-promise.
jmp .rep1 -
If weed can damage your short term memory, imagine what weed can do to you.
Stay away from weed!! It does something to you but I forgot what.5 -
Turns out it wasn't the RAM nor the graphics card but the barely used NVME (that I recently started using with linux as boot) that was causing random crashes.
Very tempted to still just replace the whole thing...
Nothing too important on there other than my bash history and LLM models14 -
I finally got a refund for my Purism Libre 5. It only took SIX FUCKING YEARS!
Fuck Purism. That company should die in a fire.
https://battlepenguin.com/tech/...3 -
Like many of us, tired of hearing the expressions: "infused with A.I.", "powered by A.I.", "augmented with A.I.", "A.I.-first", etc.6
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Guys, chatgpt seems not to be working. Princess is able to answer all your questions! It's grok, so less woke and has rant context. It is possible to say: @princess, fact check what @whimsacle said in last message. Who is the most accurate @pony or @pany? Questions do not have to be related, it's just optional info that it has before answering your question.55
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Zig needs to get its shit together frankly.
I know the guy wants to perfect his little design, but has he never considered the fact that the shifting sands of perfection will never align for him?
Instead of working on making progress with the design he already established, he just keeps going back and changing fundamental parts as he sees fit and never making any forwards prog-
oh my god he's me.11
