It's not a bug it's a feature!

Me when I tried to switch from Python to Java:

Why so much extra stuff??

During a meeting with customer I explained him two different options we could realise for his requirement.

Customer: "That sounds good! Do it!"
Me: "Well, you have to decide which option you want to be realised."
Customer: "Yes!"
Me: "You need some time to decide that?"
Customer: "No!"
Me: "So Option A or B"
Customer: "Yes!"

Reason to get a girlfriend: Interactive rubber duck.

Hit + if you are on my side

Wise words to live by...

An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

The server for an internal application was acting up, but everything was working fine locally. After an 18 hour day, I just rerouted the traffic to my dev machine and left it on overnight so I could go home.

A piece of me hates myself and also loves myself for that one.

When your lint tool has an off by one error in its output window hiding a single issue from view.

This is a true story in India.wht about Luther countries.

I was asked by our tester and scrum master to ignore some failing unit tests yesterday. The tester literally said "no time for tests, we need the build now". The scrum master is also a tester and agreed. I dont think I can respect either of them as testers anymore.

I've been doing agile wrong my entire life

To improve our user's "experience" I suggested to my boss to add a status page showing...well, the current status of our services. Everybody was up for it, so I go off and implement a basic version + automated monitoring backend, get lots of positive feedback, all seems fine.

Then it starts:

Boss: "Can you get it all set up by this Saturday?"
Me: "Uh, today is Wednesday and I've never set up all the stuff needed on a proper server before"
Boss: "Well, you still have a few days. Please also contact your coworker to get it all hooked up in our launcher"
Me: "I'll try, can't make any promises though"

Contact my coworker and tell him what the plan is. I had already given him access to the repo and he is positive to get it all hooked up (I doubt he ever cloned my repo, let alone ran my code)

Spend all Friday getting my stuff set up on the production server, feeling pretty good thanks to the many tutorials.

Contact the boss Friday evening:
Me: "All up and running"
Boss: "Thanks, but we decided to go with a basic HTML page instead. We can just manually edit that, should be enough.
Me: "..."

In the end my stuff was never used, the server I set up was finally taken down a month ago. The gratitude you get when not hacking together some absolute shit that causes problems when you don't add <br/> tags at the correct places to prevent an ugly overflow, cause the coworker was too lazy to implement some form of line wrap in the launcher. I'm not saying my stuff is the best of the best, but at least it was professional looking to a certain extent.

any one for group hug? feeling low and hiding under the table :(

In my team, unit tests are called so, because every Dev is a 'unit' who manually tests their own code...

Git newbie

Go home Jenkins, you're drunk.

PM: "We would like our automated testing / continuous integration in AWS"

Me: *Army crawling towards Jenkins with my last dying breath*

Cable porn
No not the one on your old TV

I used to like devRant... then it was flooded with 5 year old shit post memes :(

Anyone else use Opera?

When I get stuck I sometimes reassign the task to one of my coworkers.

overheard someone say "test driven development is essentially 'debugging a system into existence'"

.... And to be honest I can't disagree, it's quite an accurate description of TDD.

Made me laugh a little :D

Epic 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I wonder if someone ever did the //TODOs or fixed the //FIXMEs I left in the code the last place I worked at 🤔

I am 21 and I just found out that I have rheumatoid arthritis in my fingers

I think a little part, no ,a huge chunk inside of me just died.

Why the fuck does life keep piling shit...
what's the fucking point....

Seems legit! 😂😂😂

Web developer

I've just realised that whenever i want to go on Google Analytics I've just been typing anal and hitting enter 😅