Are you a iOs developer/Android developer/graphic designer/web developer/3D artist aged 18 - 30? Are you fluent in English, both written and spoken? Well, that's nice , Good day 🤡

That wonderful moment when after months of applying and interviewing you finally get to hand in your resignation..! 🎉

Sigh, Microsoft we need to talk...

Tip of the day ;-)

It's not sure if he will arrive but if he does he'll be intact.

How to make sure your users appreciate your work

Sad but true :(

_Taken from a telegram channel_

Src: Telegram ->> programmerjokes
Old but fun LOL ;-)

Summing up many ridiculous meetings I've been in.

Many years ago we hired someone for HR that came from a large fortune 500 company, really big deal at the time.

Over the next 6 months, she scheduled weekly to bi-weekly, 1 to 2 hour meetings with *everyone* throughout the day. Meeting topics included 'How to better yourself', 'Trust the winner inside you'...you get the idea.

One 2-hour meeting involved taking a personality test. Her big plan was to force everyone to take the test, and weed out anyone who didn't fit the 'company culture'. Whatever that meant.

Knowing the game being played, several of us answered in the most introverted, border-line sociopath, 'leave me the frack alone!' way we could.

When she got the test results back, she called an 'emergency' meeting with all the devs and the VP of IS, deeply concerned about our fit in the company.

HR: "These tests results were very disturbing, but don't worry, none of you are being fired today. Together, we can work as team to bring you up to our standards. Any questions before we begin?"
Me: "Not a question, just a comment about the ABC personality test you used."
<she was a bit shocked I knew the name of the test because it was anonymized on the site and written portion>
Me: "That test was discredited 5 years ago and a few company's sued because the test could be used to discriminate against a certain demographic. It is still used in psychology, but along with other personality tests. The test is not a one-size-fits-all."

VP, in the front row, looked back at me, then at her.
HR: "Well....um...uh...um...We're not using the test that way. No one is getting fired."
DevA: "Then why are we here?"
DevB:"What was the point of the test? I don't understand?"
HR: "No, no...you don't understand...that wasn't the point at all, I'm sorry, this is getting blown out of proportion."
VP: "What is getting blown out of proportion? Now I'm confused. I think we all need some cooling off. Guys, head back to the office and let me figure out the next course of action."

She was fired about two weeks later. Any/all documentation relating to the tests were deleted from the server.

Really annoyed by the endless tabs vs spaces discussion.
From now on, I use 4 tabs as indentation.

Go home candle. 🕯️
You are drunk. 🍺

padding intensifies...
From r/ProgrammerHumor

- Free app:
"5 stars - OMG this app is awesome!!!"
- Add new feature with In-app purchase:
"1 star - App sucks balls. Why we must pay? Make free and I rate 5 stars"
I call them The Rating Terrorists.

Savage!!! (-Programming Geeks)

It's a sad sad sad story

Similar with pluses on devRant

This answer is too accurate...

The truth has been spoken...

Mom: what are you doing ?

Me: i'm installing daemons in my computer.

Mother: *sprays me with holy water

She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

Me : Here is your website. So, when can I expect my pay.😊
Client (wants to skip the pay ) : Site is not loading first fix this we can discuss later.
Me : Please conncet to internet and reload. 😒😎

Truestory 🍻

just found this on reddit... this is freaking hilarious 😂😂

Big day today.
Three hours ago, we welcomed our new daughter to this world

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

Linux : Born to Be Root
Windows : Born to Re Boot

Boss emailed me that I need to work again on Saturday and Sunday.
I replied with a resignation letter.

You will never exit this fitness club. 😜

Exactly

Her: Why do you need 3 monitors??
Me: Why do you need 6 bags on the hanger, permanently, and 23 pairs of shoes?
Her: :/