My daughter: "why don't you want to do a pinkie promise?"

Me: "because promises have been supported natively for like ten years now."

My project mananger let it slip during the sprint review that the upper managers are making plans to do lay offs / cut the fat.

What an ideal moment to hand in my resignation.

My colleague thought process became the average of all possible existing LLMs. He has perplexity, ChatGPT, Claude and Cursor open on different tabs every time I go check on him. He is literally performing majority vote on all possible LLMs -> he basically stopped thinking.

We are refactoring the core feature of our unique selling point of our backend that all our products use.

And our product manager just decided that we will roll it out on Wednesday and we will not do any tests. r/whatcouldgowrong

Me, reading random wikipedia:

A boutonnière (French: [bu.tɔ.njɛʁ]) or butthole (British English) is a floral decoration, typically a single flower or bud, worn on the lapel of a tuxedo or suit jacket.

Wait, that can't be right

butthole.
buttonhole.

OOOOOH

My twelve years old daughter saw me using an eletric mixer to puree potatoes, instead of the potato smasher.
She screamed: "You're using AI! That's cheating!"

When did "AI" replaced "Automation"?!?!
It's just like "woke", the word is meaningless now.

I'm working w/ idiots.

Since a week ago, builds have started being bundled w/ this interesting folder called 'DeleteBeforeSubmission'.

Immediately mentioned the problem, but no action has been taken thus far. Sure, they might !care whether it is bundled or !. If whoever submits the builds for release manually removes those folders prior to submitting the game - fine.

Thing is... the shit is heavy. Depending on the platform, it's ~~500 MB up to some ~~2 GB on top of the actual size of the build. So, apart from our NAS storing garbage, people have to download unnecessarily larger files.

But hey - why do something about it. It's fine, right?
/s

Quote of my CEO today: "We are never going to get an other lawyer as customer... Only problems!"

Imagine our users knowing their rights, such a shame.

God, i fucking HATE tech that involves running it through legal!

TIL: nginx conf does not support ' (single quotes) in comments.

2 hours of my day went out the window

Which miracle do you think will occur first?

Will Google create a file manager for Android that isn't garbage, or will Microsoft add ext4 support to Windows?

getting fired on 20th june 2025 and it is SUCH a fucking relief to not ever see this 30 year old garbage code project EVER AGAIN!!!! and moving onto modern technology project for another client. FUCK OFF 🇨🇭♿️🇨🇭♿️🇨🇭♿️

Ya know when you're working on a personal project, and you add a feature thinking it's a really good idea, then you don't touch the code for 6 months and it's still a good idea but you've got no idea what's broken and no idea what you need to do next?

Once upon a time, there was a young, clean-shaven dev.
Soon in his career the smooth faced dev realized he had a knack for cloud setup. He understood permissions and network configurations, he could tell apart security groups from access groups, he could get all the information needed for an IPSec VPN in a single breath.
But if things got really tough, if the network layout was really messy, if the security settings too arcane, some older, bearded senior dev would come to solve everything.
Time passed, the junior dev got better at stuff, switched companies many times, solved a million problems, delivered countless projects, attended infinite meetings - twice - and, as often is the case, the senior devs, one by one, left the companies and run ever more scarce each day.

One day, a long, loooong time after his first meeting, the once young dev was solving network problems. Weird ones. Tough security requirements. Poorly documented cloud services. For hours, the dev and his colleagues toiled away, chipping at the problem without getting at its core.
The silence fell in the meeting. Everybody looking at each other, waiting for someone to say something.
Then they all looked at the dev, their eyes crying for help.
And the dev realized that he hadn't shaved in weeks.

-------‐‐-------------------------------
I've shaved since then.
And I did solve the problem. Took many more hours, though.

If you don't test for it the bug doesn't exist.

Why do react developers like having a separate types folder/file? (genuine Q)

So when we having an IRL meet? I think something was discussed a while ago.

"All due regards".

None. No regards are due. If you didn't work out I thought you lot were assholes from the body of the email, you're not going to work it out from the sign off, but still. You've got the social skills of a toothbrush.

I'd love to play poker with these people though. Can't bluff for shit.

A blackbox seo tool that was made by aliens we use says that a couple of our WordPress sites are loading very slowly, so I enable caching through nginx and increase the resources available to them through high capacity fpm pools. They scan again and almost nothing has changed with the page load score.

So I look in lighthouse, which I just learned about, and I find that several of the pages have several MB size images. So that means I'll have to mogrify the entire uploads directory to try to get the size down.

It also suggests I use avif to save a ton of data, which I'm torn on. I hate downloading an image and it not being a normal format that everything can open. But my sites are not image sharing sites, so it's a lot less annoying to the user since they will never realize they're getting an avif. That also means I will have to redo all the image links to point to the avif instead of the original, which sounds like the least fun activity ever.

Another thing that I keep seeing is that Elementor is just slow and slow page loads are part of the deal. If we have to scrap Elementor, that means I will have to be more involved in developing the WordPress sites and I really don't want to.

Every year my work sends out a "mental health awareness week" email including some "useful resources" and the biggest problem for my mental health is those assholes.

I like coming up with novel passive agressive ways to say fuck you.

How can so many people be shit at their job, and all in one company?

devRanters, are you still here?

Since, sadly, it's not possible to post images anymore and the founders unfortunately aren't addressing the issue (unless I missed something, let me know), I'm thinking about implementing an integrated external image uploader in devRant UWP client (if you don't know, I made a client for devRant in 2016 you can still download from the Microsoft Store on Windows 10/11), integrated as link for official clients, loaded as image in my client.
It won't resolve the issue on mobile (other than seeing the link to the image), unless you're using a Windows Phone in 2025!, but at least you could potentially see images on Windows (for rants posted using my client).

Let me know what do you think. If there are any devRant UWP users still here... lol

Me and a fellow friend started working as a freelancer.

of 3 projects that we have:

One has a terrible code (like really nasty and over engineered to the maximum). albeit each new feature is a challenge to our sanity... they pay are are somewhat nice.

Another after we did the job they don't want to pay (thankfully we are on a platform that is like the middle man for work, they already have the money so should be "trivial") because they say we did not do what they asked. Brother, the 2 A.M. is not an hour to be called, and we did all the little shitty task they askend AND the original tasks...

And in the last one we hired a team to work with us because we don't have more hours in a day... and they only rename some vars, call it a day, ignoring the task on the sprint and they wanna get paid for the "job"

I just wanna drink a few pints of guinness...

Someone's going to be fired. Not me. When I joined my current company I was severely unwell. The survival rate for the state I was in was only slightly better than cancer (at 2 years less than 3 in 4 survive). I told work all of this. As far as I can tell they did nothing. As far as I can tell they didn't belive me. They've now got shitty about my performance and have actually asked for an independent review of my health. It is bad. It's significantly better than it was and it probably sounds worse than it is, but it is bad. They don't even know how much worse it was when I joined because they DIDN'T GET AN ASSESSMENT LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO. Someone is getting fired. HR hasn't responded to my emails since last Tuesday when they got the assessment. The only person that's said anything to me is my manager, he was in a bit of a grump last Wednesday (I don't think they'd told him yet) but he's being nice today, not a single word of criticism.

Someone is getting fired.

Tomorrow is monday, and it looks like ~4h of meetings everyday...

A cautionary tale, dear devRanters:

"My husband was laid off by Microsoft after 25 years — by algorithm. His last day is his birthday."

https://reddit.com/r/microsoft/...

Enjoy life outside of work

Finally got all the php errors fixed on my servers. Feels good man.

It's only 11am and today is already cancer

Overnight, our networking dept patched some systems, which unexpectedly caused a connecting system unable to work. That system was our alerting layer, which didn't/couldn't send out the alerts (phone calls, Teams messages, emails, etc) that alerting wasn't working.

This morning when networking came in, they saw the issue (our backup alerting system was sending emails all night long).

Instead of "Oh no, maybe we should have a process in place to verify patching X systems doesn't degrade Y systems", the various teams are dog-piling on alerting (my responsibility). VPs are now getting involved. They are saying things like "There should have been a monitoring system to monitor the alerting!!!". Which there is, the email back up alerting. Must be a dozens of messages in the team chat all pointing the finger that 'alerting should have worked', even though *those server clusters were all down*. My boss tried to chime in with common sense saying "If our infrastructure team can't guarantee 100% uptime on the clusters, then this will happen again. The issue happened once in the 5+ years we've been using this framework. We can spend time and money creating yet another monitoring system, which could fail too, or accept the reality that sometimes things break. We fix it and do what is reasonable so the issue doesn't happen again. In my opinion, paying for another solution isn't feasible in this situation."

Team chat is silent right now, but my spidey sense is tingling.