The downsides of coding drunk: Implementing the same thing you've already implemented but forget you did

Honey, load my shotgun

Procastinator's tricks to be productive: Schedule messages

I hate to write people. They could answer. My whole plan might be thrown off. But when is the best time to answer them? The day after tomorrow? Too late. Tomorrow. Around 10? Thank you to all messengers that allow me to schedule a message. Instead of procrastinating, I answer, I schedule, and if I am in a bad mood, I later come back and abort and rewrite the message nicer.

Went perfectly swimmingly with my happy new year messages. Everyone got them at 00:00. Yes my friend, you're obviously the most important thing in my life, first thing I did was writing you!

I didn't become a developer to be legacy's bitch. But we're all legacy's bitch.

I want to roam free. I want to piss in the rain and sing at strlen. I don't want to be in corporate meetings anymore.

I don't want to contort my ideas and good intentions to fit legacy's ugly painting.

I want to be free.

Please let coding be fun again.

I process more tickets than a brothel car park ticket machine

Github Copilot is a dumb little shitstain

For the past years I've been trying to periodically give a go to various copilots every time they made an announcement like "our next version will replace programmers, it will make singularity look like child toys"

Unfortunately and unpleasantly, in 2025 copilot is the dumbest shit ever and even junior coworkers can produce better code.

I can make it do only bovine code like class mapping and simpleton tasks.

Delusional

A software developer's experience life cycle:

0 - 5 years: attempt to replicate what your current senior is preaching, assuming that's the right way. Reading "Clean code" and preach it as gospel, even though you don't practice any of it.

6-12 years: gained the belief that you are better off coming up with solutions yourself, usually "sophisticated" and "elegant" which to everyone else (and also yourself a few years later) is an over-complicated inheritance ridden shit show. You have realised the "Clean code" movement is actually a cult but still believe code reuse is the holy grail.

13+ years: finally realized that simplicity and pragmatism is the most sensible way for most software development. Code is now readable, maintainable and functional. You took the few good bits from "Clean code" and ignored the extremism. These are the golden years.

The problem is most developers jump ship and stop developing before reaching the golden years, thus resulting in most software projects looking like shit.

Unpopular opinion, but it doesn't make it untrue.

Years ago, I joined a company making games for handheld consoles.

Because a game's audio needs to be tested, too, I connected earphones to the console so that:
0. I wouldn't bother others w/ the sounds coming out of the console.
/* !Everyone wants to hear that crap. */
1. I could hear the sounds better.

PM: * Enters the room. *
Me: * Focused on testing the game. *
PM: * Walks up to me from the side, starts talking. *
Me: * Focused on testing the game. *
PM: * After approx. 30 seconds of complete lack of response from me, kind of irritated, knocks on my desk to get my attention. *
Me: * Take out the earphones. *
Oh, hi, how can I help you?
PM: Haven't you heard a word I said?
Me: Well, no. I am testing the game, including the audio.
PM: You need to pay attention to what's going on around you.
Me: Testing audio is one of my responsibilities. I am using earphones because of the reasons [0-1].
PM: Even still, you just need to pay attention to what's going on around you.
PM: * Finally explains the reason for him bothering me, then goes back to his lair. *

Moral of the story: Fuck being good at what you do && knowing your responsibilities.
When PM wants something from you, you better give him the attention he wants.

/* The expectation being I grow an extra pair of eyes && ears, so that I see the guy coming && am prepared to listen to him whenever he wants something _while_ doing the best job I possibly can. */

Today, I was successful in shouting AGENT into an automated call menu today to get to an actual agent.

I still have like, 4 working days left but my manager is on holiday from today so as far as I'm concerned, so am I.

"While a spectrum is defined as a function of frequency, a cepstrum is defined as a function of 'quefrency'. Quefrency is measured in 'time' and can be interpreted as a measure for time offsets of patterns in the time domain."

What in the actual fuck did I just read

TFW someone insults and demeans you repeatedly but keeps picking up habits and aesthetic and making decisions that copy yours...

???

New baby girl 🥰

Worryingly, at 4:04pm.

It's nice when devs are
happy you find bugs in their code, like I don't want to bother them with issues so saying thanks is positive

no man, I can't rebase, I don't work for you anymore

I feel unburdened by what has been

Did you know the moon mission would have been a complete bust if one guy, the day before, hadn't looked at the error codes. The same error codes that were continually popping up on the console during the dissent onto the moon. If it weren't for him they would not have known what those error codes were for and would have aborted the mission.

MS - Mount Stupid.

Me: Update and shut down, no reboot!
Windows, 30 minutes later, smug as can be: *login screen* 😘

finally put my hands on 1 of these =]

At work, they’re always talking about ICP (ideal customer profile) and I always make a dumb comment about the band.

A couple weeks ago, I finally decided to make a meowji.

I made it on my phone in a moving vehicle, so it took a _while_, but it’s one of my best works, I think.

Anyone doing advent of code?

Me: code is documentation
Users: we need documentation too
Me: convert code to documentation

Tangent space normal maps are going to drive me insane I swear to god

Why can't you just work??? 😭😭😭

I'm averaging 3 hours a day outside of meetings. Mostly in 30 minute blocks.

Manager is wondering why I can't get work done...

Has anybody tried to remind dfox about the broken images, yet?

So apparently I own land in dubai. Like three separate mortgages based on the email I received.

Your request (Mortgage Registration)
with request number xxxxx / 2024
has been completed
and you can print your issued certificate from this [link]

I've stripped out the numbers and link.
After confirming it was safe I followed through on a old spare cellphone, and yep, I own three mortgages for properties in dubai.

Except obviously I don't.
Someone used my name, an american, to register mortgages in dubai. *Nice* properties according to the pictures.

What started out as a scam email, or what looked like a scam email, went to an actual government of dubai website, with real mortgage registrations.

How in the fuck does that happen?

The only thing I can think of is someone committed identity fraud, and/or an alphabet agency went through the list of known political dissidents, set up a bullshit mortgage in a questionable territory, and are now using that as a pretext to monitor 'extremists with foreign ties.'

All that for some guy on the west coast that hasn't attended a political rally in his entire life.

Must have been that sign I held at sixteen years old by the side of the road that said "bush lied us into a war, and people died."

or maybe it was that time I told a really enthusiastic obama supporting police officer that it amazed me obama had time to win the nobel peace prize what with all the bombings he carried out against foreign civilians.

I've been trying Hyprland for the past couple of months. So far, it's the best tiling composer I've seen:

https://battlepenguin.com/tech/...

PSA: The smaller the compute shader workgroups the more efficient they are, down to the wave size (32 on nvidia). Not exactly sure why, but looks like if you don't need group shared memory always have your workgroups be wave sized

Just this alone gave me a 30%+ performance increase. And combined with a few other changes got me from 50 µs to 10 µs, yay!

The C Standard Library has a Hash Table implementation, and it's a man-made horror beyond comprehension:

https://youtube.com/watch/...

Name one thing more fun than atomically writing values into a gpu buffer and them mysteriously vanishing into the aether immediately after the compute shader invocation

I can literally see them in the buffer using RenderDoc and then as soon as I go to the next command the buffer is completely filled with zeros again as if the values never existed

?? like how ??