:^)
For real though, to each their own in the end.
I accept MacOS for development, but Apple hardware is just price gouging.

An account manager at work wanted to know where the company called HTML5 were based and if we could setup a meeting with them because our clients want to use their services

Why not! 😂

We can't be friends if you are an elephant. Sorry.

The plural of code is code, not codes.

Just bought a book that covers some techs that I use, but want to get better at. I get less than a chapter in, and realize something is horribly wrong. I check the publication date. 2015.

I am so fucking stupid.

They just bought 2 fucking 23" extra monitors for every developer in my org.
FEELS GOOD MAN

Client: our app has low ratings, we fired our previous dev company and hiring you instead.
Us: all right, seems like to make a better app we need 5 months.
C: you're kidding, do it in 6 weeks.
U: Ok, but we'll have to drop some features.
C: get rid of X and Y, nobody uses them.
U: deal!

... 6 weeks later...
U: here's the new app: better graphics, easier to use, more stable and more future-proof.
C: Cool! Let's deploy!

... 2 days later...
C: we just released but the users are really pissed off!
U: what do they say?
C: "what the fuck happened with X and Y? they were the only thing we're using! what a load of crap! 1 star"

Dear client, next time get to know better your users...

On a break I went into a Best Buy to browse laptops. I had no intention on buying from them because they suck, but I just wanted to touch a few and look at specs. A salesman then thought it was a smart idea to approach me. Immediately, he was talking down to me about specs and asking if I needed it for email, Facebook, Instagram, and the like. I'll be honest, I am super girlie in my appearance and mannerisms. So I get it, I suppose. The big pseudo-nerd is going to help the little girl find a cute, social media laptop. He actually walked me over to a pink HP Stream lol. Sure, I like pink, but I don't want a useless paperweight of a machine. When I mentioned I need a new rig for coding, he actually chuckled and said "really?". So I replied "yes really, you presumptuous cockbag" and walked out. Needless to say, I won't be buying there.

Two unit tests, no integration tests.

As a Python user and the fucking unicode mess, this is sooooo mean!

The bugs have learned to hide

The struggle is real..

Sigh, Microsoft we need to talk...

So I got this message months ago, did a screenshot then, thought it's a good idea to share it with you.

What's your excuse?

Oldies

this.status == 200

That moment when you try showing an issue to your senior developer and gradle takes forever to build.

Clicks build...
Goes to get coffee.
Takes a sip.
*1500 sips later*
Gradle build still running...

Best debugging strategy: try to show off what you made to friends and family

According to this response I do not exist.

I only crack programs when someone makes it unnecessarily complicated to pay for it.

If my UI is bad, the app is shit.
If my functionalities are bad, the app is shit.
Being an android developer requires you to be a fill stack developer by default.

Dumb ass

When your forced to change your "Development Process" on a weekly basis because everyone has a better idea

So true!!!!

W...w...wha...whaaat?!

Welcome to the new world. Microsoft is now the top open source contributor on Github.

Windows XP features :))))

Do you ever feel like devs are the last people to know requirement changes, design changes, etc? And yet are the people who actually have to make the thing and ship it on time...