It only took me half an hour to automate something that would have taken me 5 minutes!

"How does your live chat work?"

Fuck android studio

Thanks PHP for being the shittiest shit ever.

Sincerely,

FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING FUCK FUCKSHIT

Did an rm *.jar on a wrong app directory as root on a live system

Girl: What's your idea of the perfect date?

Me: dd/mm/yyyy, others formats are confusing

Me: Wait where are you going

Not me, but a colleague of mine ordered 10,000 pens with <company>.com printed on them - but our company had a .org address.

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

During a software presentation for a group of clients i said:
"I reworked the interface for you. Now it's idiot-proof."

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

Just got this slack from our server admin.

LalaLan

Screw Emojis!!

Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.

I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.

DO YOU FUCKING SERIOUSLY TELL US IN THE SECOND SEMESTER OF OUR MASTERS DEGREE THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL THAT ARRAYS START WITH 0?!?

The opposite job..

I found the greatest stackoverflow comment:

......

We feel you bro...

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

My cat loosed resolution, what should I do? :/

Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

Found in the React tutorial😂

Easter egg.

"Occasionally stores something" 😂

I have a screenshot(!) of data I am supposed to import into a database... Visible in the screenshot is also A FUCKING BUTTON THAT SAYS "EXPORT TO EXCEL" !!! 👿

😂😂 Innovation

Settings done right!

When it's time to go into evil mode

So I need to create a nice new web app. Let's look at some cool JS frameworks that I can work with.

*5 mins later* Hm, Angular sounds good, is there any good competitor?

*5 mins later* Wow, React sounds awesome as well. Let me learn it.

Google search result:

"Planning to use react? Check out Vue JS first"

*5 mins later* Ok so vue seems faster than React and much easier to learn. Let me see if Vue is the final choice.

Google search result:

"Angular VS Knockout VS Ember VS React VS Mithril VS Mercury VS Ractive VS Vue VS Riot"

Nope, fuck it