My reaction when someone says this 🤣🤣

What gif

Freshman: hey can you check what's wrong with my code?
Me: ya of course
*Sees zero comments, no indents, all variables named a,b,c,etc.*
Me: oh would you look at the time!

"I will go to sleep after i fix this bug" 10min later I look outside, North Korea and the USA are fighting a nuclear war, russia invaded europe, hitler rose from the death and there's even more javascript frameworks

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

The Joker is very serious!

Hacker 101

That struck hard, man 🤣🤣

Recruiter: Why you choose this company to work with?

Me: I didn't choose it, I have other interviews.

Recruiter: So why we should hire you?

Me: So I can pay my bills.

When your coworker appreciates your code saying it's neat and beautiful

So, I needed a package installed on one of our Unix servers. The package manager--which is obsolete garbage--was failing with a message which can only be described as a variant of "Go fuck yourself". A quick Google search didn't help.

3 espressos and an eternity later, I have descended into a manic state. My hair has turned grey and I have started lactating. As a last-ditch effort, I try a new search query on Google, and the first link takes me to a forum with a thread discussing a similar issue. The last post in the thread has a solution which works for me. After fixing the issue, everything in the world feels right and I decide to thank the generous poster, who is like an angel to me at this point.

Guess what? The poster is none other than me. 8 months back, I had created a user account on the forum just to post the solution to a similar issue I had on another server.

Gorgeous, isn't it?

++ this meme, NSA

*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song

Girl: What's your idea of the perfect date?

Me: dd/mm/yyyy, others formats are confusing

Me: Wait where are you going

Gillette Excel

I'm lacking a rubber duck at my office. I asked for one, but the company won't buy one. Instead they offered me a 1m x 1m sheet of bubble wrap, which they replace every day. Love my new place.

So I picked up my nephew from his kindergarten and he told me that forks have round holes.
I laughed and said that forks don't have holes, otherwise the food would fall down through them.

It turs out that he was right and I was wrong.

Guys the ++ and -- buttons aren't perfectly centered.

Indian weddings...

My cousin calls me up and says that I am studying software engineering, so I must be having a laptop. Asks me to bring it to the the wedding.
I end up doing songs editing and all the dj stuff in the ladies sangeet.

My Laptop Setup

Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?

Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...

Boss: just your best guess

Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?

Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?

Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6

Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it

Me: ...

Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already

(4 months later)

Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here

(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)

Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?

Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated

(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)

Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!

Me: ...

This is awesome.

GF: "Honey can you leave the PS and give me some attention?"
ME: "ofcourse!"

**Gives her 29 minutes of attention**

I can't see an end, I have no control and I don't think there's an escape - I don't even have a home anymore
.
.
.
Definitely time for a new keyboard

The joys of web dev

Every single time

FUUUUCK!!! I just saw a dead pixel in my retina display

The fact that it is retina tells me that it isn't just one pixel.

I fucking hate my life right now

Oh wow. That timing though.