Amazon...

Visual Basic

Do you like the Note 7?

Couldn't resist sharing this one

what people think when I say I program in COBOL..

So I heard that you hate JavaScript...

Credit: Reddit

Made me laugh so hard thinking about how often a semi-colon has been my source of depression & self injury

Help on stack overflow in a nutshell.

First laugh then comment 😂😂😂

If you put a UNIX shell to your ear, you can hear the C.

Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.

User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.

This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.

Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.

It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.

The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.

When not even Ctrl + Alt + Del can save you... Thanks Windows

International quality of code measurement? WTFs/minute

Random : Hey you're a programmer right?

Me : Yeah? *excited about possibilities*

Random : I am having troubles installing a game I downloaded. I've been trying for three weeks now.

Me : *sigh* OK, I'll have a look, but I can't guarantee I'll get it right.

*Spend about 10 seconds installing game.*

Random : How did you do that?

Me : I read the error message, it was pointing to the wrong file.

Random : You are a god man *calls wife* come look at this genius. *calls daughter* look at that *calls dog* this guy is so amazing.

I also now avoid Random, he had three hard drives, each with a different version of Windows installed, he totally screwed his bios, he admitted not having put thermal paste on his cpu. And he asked me to fix all of this whenever I have time.

I am not your computer fixer guy. Take It to the shop.

An area sales rep once rang me to tell me his iPhone screen was cracked and was going blurry around some sections.

I told him to fetch me to look, and I will see what I can do.

5 minutes later I get a SCREENSHOT from his phone asking if I can see the crack and blurry edges.

HOW FUCKING DUMB ARE THESE PEOPLE!!!

I mean, come on. He seriously said when I called him: "But I can see the crack and blurry bits on the screenshot on my phone"

Every time someone posts their multi monitor setup I'm looking at my setup and be like: "Will this community accept me?"

Developers Bermuda Triangle 😂😂

Hacked...

What is another name for a computer virus ? 
=> A terminal illness 

How Microsoft devs think about Linux 😁.

This was found inside the index.html of Visual Studio Code editor.

I'm gonna paste this on my office printer.

Same with my computer graphics lab !

It's good that they clarify that baby food is not a number. Just in case you were wondering.

Bought a game for 90% off during a Steam sale. I guess you get what you pay for.

Dig it.

Do you use Dreamweaver?

Q: How many broken releases of HipChat does a dev manager put up with before they move the team to Slack?

Bad Java code is one thing. Bad objective-c code is like OHHHH MY GOD DUDE WTF ARE YOU DOINGGGGG

Source Control : FTP

index.php
index-16-05-2016.php
index.old.php
index.fix.php

"That moment when your so eager to finish your deadline that even in your dreams your still coding"