Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.

Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.

These design trends are so cringey wtf! It's only a matter of time before everyone realises it.

I really like my current job.

I work as an analyst developer looking after and sorting out people's old tech debt.

Once that's stable I get pretty free reign to do what I want.

It allows me to stretch from dev into graphic design, security, architecture and training on a very regular basis.

It allows me to keep an eye on tech trends, research and develop ideas using the latest shiny things.

Oh and if I say I need a thing, I can usually get it purchased.

All of the above comes with the "as long as it's for the benefit of the company" disclaimer, but when your direct managers see an IDE and think "okay he's working" the lines get a little blurry.

They keep asking me about my career goals and if I want to manage or move around. Fuck that noise, all of that noise.

Do wut I wawnt.

Want to make someone's life a misery? Here's how.

Don't base your tech stack on any prior knowledge or what's relevant to the problem.

Instead design it around all the latest trends and badges you want to put on your resume because they're frequent key words on job postings.

Once your data goes in, you'll never get it out again. At best you'll be teased with little crumbs of data but never the whole.

I know, here's a genius idea, instead of putting data into a normal data base then using a cache, lets put it all into the cache and by the way it's a volatile cache.

Here's an idea. For something as simple as a single log lets make it use a queue that goes into a queue that goes into another queue that goes into another queue all of which are black boxes. No rhyme of reason, queues are all the rage.

Have you tried: Lets use a new fangled tangle, trust me it's safe, INSERT BIG NAME HERE uses it.

Finally it all gets flushed down into this subterranean cunt of a sewerage system and good luck getting it all out again. It's like hell except it's all shitty instead of all fiery.

All I want is to export one table, a simple log table with a few GB to CSV or heck whatever generic format it supports, that's it.

So I run the export table to file command and off it goes only less than a minute later for timeout commands to start piling up until it aborts. WTF. So then I set the most obvious timeout setting in the client, no change, then another timeout setting on the client, no change, then i try to put it in the client configuration file, no change, then I set the timeout on the export query, no change, then finally I bump the timeouts in the server config, no change, then I find someone has downloaded it from both tucows and apt, but they're using the tucows version so its real config is in /dev/database.xml (don't even ask). I increase that from seconds to a minute, it's still timing out after a minute.

In the end I have to make my own and this involves working out how to parse non-standard binary formatted data structures. It's the umpteenth time I have had to do this.

These aren't some no name solutions and it really terrifies me. All this is doing is taking some access logs, store them in one place then index by timestamp. These things are all meant to be blazing fast but grep is often faster. How the hell is such a trivial thing turned into a series of one nightmare after another? Things that should take a few minutes take days of screwing around. I don't have access logs any more because I can't access them anymore.

The terror of this isn't that it's so awful, it's that all the little kiddies doing all this jazz for the first time and using all these shit wipe buzzword driven approaches have no fucking clue it's not meant to be this difficult. I'm replacing entire tens of thousands to million line enterprise systems with a few hundred lines of code that's faster, more reliable and better in virtually every measurable way time and time again.

This is constant. It's not one offender, it's not one project, it's not one company, it's not one developer, it's the industry standard. It's all over open source software and all over dev shops. Everything is exponentially becoming more bloated and difficult than it needs to be. I'm seeing people pull up a hundred cloud instances for things that'll be happy at home with a few minutes to a week's optimisation efforts. Queries that are N*N and only take a few minutes to turn to LOG(N) but instead people renting out a fucking off huge ass SQL cluster instead that not only costs gobs of money but takes a ton of time maintaining and configuring which isn't going to be done right either.

I think most people are bullshitting when they say they have impostor syndrome but when the trend in technology is to make every fucking little trivial thing a thousand times more complex than it has to be I can see how they'd feel that way. There's so bloody much you need to do that you don't need to do these days that you either can't get anything done right or the smallest thing takes an age.

I have no idea why some people put up with some of these appliances. If you bought a dish washer that made washing dishes even harder than it was before you'd return it to the store.

Every time I see the terms enterprise, fast, big data, scalable, cloud or anything of the like I bang my head on the table. One of these days I'm going to lose my fucking tits.

Waterfall Project Stages:
Requirements, Analysis, Design, Coding, Testing, Operations

When you promote project managers to program managers and tell them to switch to Agile, you get the Agilefall project stages:
Best guess, Timeline, User stories, Execution, Blame the devs when the project plan trends late.

I want to beat them with a copy of the PMBOK wrapped in lead.

Development world is always changing and evolving... It changes before you know it...

So, having the ability to quickly adapt and learn is a must for any Developer... And, this is the one thing that I am sure that everyone knows about or heard about..

But, my advice is quite simple:

"Don't rush into participating in a race, just because everyone else is doing so.

The trick is not to move quickly.. But, to move one step at a time, at the pace in which you are at your most comfortable...

It might seem counterintuitive and a contradiction to what I have said earlier.. But, I hope that by the end of this rant, you will be able to understand my perspective..

This advice is especially useful for people still finding and searching for their place in our world..

Charles Darwin, very wisely understood the philosophy behind 'Survival of the Fittest'..

By 'fittest', he didn't refer to the ones considered to be the strongest or having the most intelligence, but the ones that had mastered the ability to adapt to changing circumstances..

Adaptability is important, but not at the cost of understanding and learning about the fundamental pillars on which this world stands..

Don't rush because when you run, your visions starts to become more narrow.. In your pursuit to reach your goal, you lose the ability to look at the macro details surrounding your goal..

Learning new technology is important, but that doesn't mean that you don't learn about various approaches or how to design a more logical or efficient solution...

Refactoring the code, developing good Testing procedures, learning to interact with your fellow developers are as crucial as learning about the changing trends...

Even, in this ever-changing world, understand that some things will always remain the same, like the adrenaline that course through your veins when you finally solve a long-standing problem...

Curiosity, Discovery and Exploration are the key pillars and hence, when we rush in, we might stop exploring and lose curiosity to discover new and exciting ways to reach our goal..

Or, we might also end up losing the drive that grips us and motivates to continue moving forward inspite of the challenges standing between us and our destination..

And, believe me, once you lose this quality, you might still succeed but the contentment and the satisfaction that you feel will be lost..

And, then, you will remain a developer only through your designation... And, that in my personal opinion, the worst punishment.

JS interview:
– we expect you to know the concepts of immutability, persistence, software architecture and systems theory, methods of analyzing complexity beyond the big-O notation, safe parallel code execution with web workers, WASM, modern web standards including working drafts, progressive enhancement and graceful degradation, WCAG recommendations and web accessibility in general, UX strategies and modern graphic design trends. Nice 20k github stars you got there. By the way, what's your opinion on modern optimistic UX?
– I know this all but I somewhat disagree with some status-quo UX strategies
– unfortunately it's a no

PHP interview:
– Do you know how to wipe your ass?
– *excited hysterical jumping with head nodding*
– You're hired

Hey guys, hope you all have a great day.

I am not a professional developer yet because I still didn't have my first client. My goal is to become a freelance Web Developer.

At me moment I working on my own website because I can't hope to find a client if I don't even exist on the Internet.

I already have some kind of prototype but the problem is that it looks really bad in my eyes because I'm anything but a designer.

So my question is if you know any resources where I can learn web design, trends, good practices, theories, anything really.

Designer: The web design muset be beautiful, clean and follow modern trends.
Me: Actualy no, design should be just functional part of website. There is no need to be beautiful, clean and has nothing to do with modern graphic trends. Sad truth is almost nobody, besides css galleries, cares.
Designer:

Neumorphism is the new Parallax.

Am I the only one that thinks KDE design is always a step behind current design trends?

App Developer: Create Powerful Mobile Solutions with Miami Web Design & SEO Services

In today’s fast-paced digital world, having a mobile app for your business is no longer a luxury—it’s a necessity. Whether you’re aiming to enhance customer engagement, streamline business processes, or create a new revenue stream, a custom mobile app can elevate your business. If you're searching for a professional App Developer in Miami, Miami Web Design & SEO Services is your trusted partner.

Located at 1900 Tyler St Suite 502, Hollywood, FL 33020, we specialize in building innovative, user-friendly mobile applications that drive results for businesses of all sizes. Our team of experienced app developers combines technical expertise with a creative approach to help you bring your app ideas to life.

Why Choose Miami Web Design & SEO Services for App Development?
At Miami Web Design & SEO Services, we understand that each business has unique goals and challenges. Whether you’re looking to build an iOS or Android app, we work closely with you to ensure your app meets the specific needs of your customers and enhances your brand presence.

Expert App Development
As a leading App Developer in Miami, we specialize in developing custom mobile applications that are not only feature-rich but also intuitive and easy to use. Our team has experience in creating apps across various industries, including retail, healthcare, education, finance, entertainment, and more. We take the time to understand your business requirements and customer pain points to design a solution that provides real value.

Our services include:

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As your trusted App Developer in Miami, we stay on the cutting edge of technology and mobile app development trends. Our developers are proficient in the latest programming languages, frameworks, and tools to build apps that are fast, secure, and scalable.

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Having a great app is only half the battle—getting it into the hands of your target audience is equally important. As part of our mobile app development services, we also offer App Store Optimization (ASO) to help your app rank higher in the app stores, increasing visibility and downloads.

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Additionally, we assist with app marketing campaigns to promote your app through various channels, including social media, email marketing, and paid advertising. We ensure your app is positioned for success right from the start.

Why Miami Businesses Choose Us for App Development
Miami is a dynamic city with a vibrant tech scene and a diverse range of businesses. At Miami Web Design & SEO Services, we understand the local market and the specific needs of businesses in Miami. We know how to create apps that not only meet global standards but also cater to the preferences of Miami residents and visitors.

We pride ourselves on delivering high-quality apps that help local businesses thrive. Whether you're a small startup or a large corporation, we bring the same level of dedication and expertise to every project, ensuring your mobile app serves as a valuable tool for your business.

Get Started with Your Mobile App Development Today
If you’re ready to bring your app idea to life, Miami Web Design & SEO Services is here to help. Our team of expert App Developers is committed to providing end-to-end mobile app development services, from planning and design to development and marketing.

Custom Lip Gloss Boxes: The Ultimate Guide to Stylish and Functional Packaging
In the beauty industry, packaging is just as important as the product itself. It serves not only to protect and preserve the product but also plays a pivotal role in branding, marketing, and influencing consumer choices. When it comes to lip gloss, custom packaging offers endless possibilities to create a unique brand presence. Custom lip gloss boxes are a key element in delivering that first impression, helping brands stand out in a competitive market.
This article delves into the importance of custom lip gloss boxes, their benefits, design considerations, and the latest trends shaping this packaging solution.
Why Custom Lip Gloss Boxes Matter
Lip gloss is a beauty staple, often viewed as a small, portable item, but its impact on a brand’s image can be significant. Custom lip gloss boxes elevate the product’s appeal, making it more attractive to consumers while offering protection during transport and storage. These boxes not only serve a practical purpose but also communicate a brand's values, creativity, and quality.
Key Benefits of Custom Lip Gloss Boxes
Brand Differentiation Custom packaging allows brands to create a distinct identity in the crowded beauty industry. With a range of customization options including colors, shapes, finishes, and design elements, brands can craft packaging that reflects their personality and vision, ensuring that their lip gloss stands out on store shelves.
Effective Marketing Tool A well-designed lip gloss box doubles as a marketing tool. With space for logos, taglines, product descriptions, and even social media handles, custom packaging reinforces brand recognition and helps consumers remember your product long after purchase.
Enhanced Product Protection While lip gloss tubes are often sturdy, custom boxes provide an added layer of protection, especially during shipping and handling. These boxes ensure the product arrives in perfect condition, preventing damage from impact, exposure to sunlight, or moisture.
Improved Consumer Experience Attractive and thoughtfully designed packaging enhances the unboxing experience, making it memorable for customers. This can lead to positive word-of-mouth, repeat purchases, and social media shares, all of which contribute to brand loyalty.
Eco-Friendly Options Many beauty brands are now shifting toward sustainable packaging solutions. Custom lip gloss boxes can be made from eco-friendly materials such as recycled cardboard or biodegradable paper. This not only reduces the environmental impact but also appeals to environmentally-conscious consumers.
Cost-Effective and Scalable Custom lip gloss boxes can be produced at scale, making them cost-effective for brands. Bulk production reduces the per-unit cost, making it an affordable option for businesses of all sizes, from boutique brands to large cosmetic companies.
Design Considerations for Custom Lip Gloss Boxes
Creating custom packaging involves several design elements that must be carefully thought out to achieve the desired look and functionality. Here are key aspects to consider:
Material Choice The material used for the custom lip gloss boxes should be durable yet lightweight. Popular materials include cardboard, kraft paper, and rigid boxes. Brands focused on sustainability may opt for eco-friendly or recycled materials, which can still deliver a high-end feel.
Size and Shape The size of the box should fit the lip gloss container snugly to avoid unnecessary movement and potential damage. While traditional rectangular boxes are common, unique shapes such as hexagonal or cylindrical boxes can make your packaging stand out.
Branding Elements Incorporating your brand’s logo, color palette, and fonts is essential in creating packaging that resonates with your target audience. Consistent use of branding elements across all your products helps build brand identity and consumer trust.
Printing and Finishing Options Various printing techniques and finishes can enhance the look and feel of your custom lip gloss boxes
Window Cutouts Adding a transparent window to your lip gloss boxes allows consumers to see the actual product without opening the packaging. This feature is particularly appealing when showcasing different lip gloss shades, helping consumers make purchasing decisions quickly.
Sustainability As consumers become more eco-conscious, brands can differentiate themselves by using recyclable, compostable, or biodegradable packaging materials. Eco-friendly packaging not only reduces your brand's carbon footprint but also enhances its image as a socially responsible entity.
Conclusion
Custom lip gloss boxes are a crucial element in building a strong brand presence and ensuring that your product catches consumers' attention.