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Search - "friday joke"
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A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
Such a classic joke. Apt for a Friday! :D1 -
Hey guys,
this rant will be long again. I'm sorry for any grammar errors or something like that, english isn't my native language. Furthermore I'm actually very sad and not in a good mood.
Why? What happened? Some of you may already know - I'm doing my apprenticeship / education in a smal company.
There I'm learning a lot, I'm developing awesome features directly for the clients, experience of which other in my age (I'm only 19 years old) can only dream.
Working in such a small company is very exhausting, but I love my job, I love programming. I turned my hobby into a profession and I'm very proud of it.
But then there are moments like the last time, when I had to present something for a client - the first presentation was good, the last was a disaster, nothing worked - but I learned from it.
But this time everything is worse than bad - I mean really, really worse than bad.
I've worked the whole week on a cool new feature - I've done everything that it works yesterday, that everything gets done before the deadline of yesterday.
To achieve this I've coded thursday till 10pm ! At home! Friday I tested the whole day everything to ensure that everything is working properly. I fixed several bugs and then at the end of the day everything seems to be working. Even my boss said that it looks good and he thinks that the rollout to all clients will become good and without any issues.
But unfortunately deceived.
Yesterday evening I wrote a long mail to my boss - with a "manual". He was very proud and said that he is confident that everything will work fine. He trusts me completly.
Then, this morning I received a mail from him - nothing works anymore - all clients have issues, everything stays blank - because I've forgotten to ensure that the new feature (a plugin) and its functionality is supported by the device (needs a installation).
First - I was very shoked - but in the same moment I thought - one moment - you've written an if statement, if the plugin is installed - so why the fuck should it broken everything?!
I looked instant to the code via git. This has to be a very bad joke from my boss I thought. But then I saw the fucking bug - I've written:
if(plugin) { // do shit }
but it has to be if(typeof plugin !== 'undefined')
I fucked up everything - due to this fucking mistake. This little piece of shit I've forgotten on one single line fucked up everything. I'm sorry for this mode of expression but I thought - no this can not be true - it must be a bad bad nightmare.
I've tested this so long, every scenario, everything. Worked till the night so it gets finished. No one, no one from my classmates would ever think of working so long. But I did it, because I love my job. I've implemented a check to ensure that the plugin is installed - but implemented it wrong - exactly this line which caused all the errors should prevent exactly this - what an irony of fate.
I've instantly called my boss and apologized for this mistake. The mistake can't be undone. My boss now has to go to all clients to fix it. This will be very expensive...
Oh my goodnes, I just cried.
I'm only working about half a year in this company - they trust me so much - but I'm not perfect - I make mistakes - like everyone else. This time my boss didn't looked over my code, didn't review it, because he trusted me completly - now this happens. I think this destroyed the trust :( I'm so sad.
He only said that we will talk on monday, how we can prevent such things in the feature..
Oh guys, I don't know - I've fucked up everything, we were so overhelmed that everything would work :(
Now I'm the looser who fucked up - because not testing enough - even when I tested it for days, even at home - worked at home - till the night - for free, for nothing - voluntary.
This is the thanks for that.
Thousand good things - but one mistake and you're the little asshole. You - a 19 year old guy, which works since 6 months in a company. A boss which trusts you and don't look over your code. One line which should prevent crashing, crashed everything.
I'm sorry that this rant is so long, I just need to talk to you guys because I'm so sad. Again. This has happend to frequently lately.16 -
first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)
four of them still have "to be defined" labels
so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
(1st week Monday)
Went to a game programmer job interview, job description says most of unity related stuffs; create games in Unity, code in c#, work within Unity to build robust game systems etc.
Interviewer asked for my experience and portfolios, showed him. Then he asked me some questions about making interactable objects in a VR scene, then asked if I'm able to do a demo (on oculus rift) to prove him I can do it.
I don't have oculus rift, I'm allowed to go their office and use their rift for testing though.
Dateline = 2nd week Friday.
(2nd week Monday)
Showed him a demo scene in GearVR, he seems pretty satisfied.
He: I will get back to you next Monday. I'll wait for client's reply first.
Me: (smile and jokingly said) so...... If the client doesn't get back to you or doesn't want the project anymore, means I don't get the job?
He instantly replied: no (with a serious face)
Then said: You shouldn't reply with that "attitude", you should instead think of "is there any reason to hire you if client doesn't get back to me"
*backfired, but wtf?*
*insert meme here*
(Please comment, am I too rude? Or *unprofessional*, but it's just a joke ffs)
He also asked if I'm able to do it on rift since I made it on GearVR already.
I said yes, depends on the controller used.
(Any dev with common logic should understand it'll work too, with given SDK, even without, some hacks should do it, just a matter of time)
(He even told me he's a dev himself)
(Should I insert the meme here again?)
But he doesn't accept the answer. He wants me to give him a text (through WhatsApp), telling him *in a professional way* that I can do it.
*wtf*
*insert meme here*
(Last day of third week)
Needless to say, he didn't get back to me. Thought he promised he would.
Things to note:
Job description doesn't say anything about VR.
Spend a week of my time to do his demo without obligations.
Didn't get to ask much about his role and job scope either.7 -
Maybe GitHub being down is just a joke from the GitHub guys to scare all the Friday 13th believers :D1
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techie 1 : hey, can you give me access to X?
techie 2 : the credentials should be in the password manager repository
t1 : oh, but I don't have access to the password manager
t2 : I see your key A1B2C3D4 listed in the recipients of the file
t1 : but I lost that key :(
t2 : okay, give me your new key then.
t1 : I have my personal key uploaded to my server
t1 : can you try fetching it?
t1 : it should work with web key directory ( WKD )
t2 : okay
t2 : no record according to https://keyserver.ubuntu.com
t1 : the keyserver is personal-domain.com
t1 : try this `gpg --no-default-keyring --keyring /tmp/gpg-$$ --auto-key-locate clear,wkd --locate-keys username@personal-domain.com`
t2 : that didn't work. apparently some problem with my dirmgr `Looking for drmgr ...` and it quit
t1 : do you have `dirmngr` installed?
t2 : I have it installed `dirmngr is already the newest version (2.2.27-2)`
t2 : `gpg: waiting for the dirmngr to come up ... (5)` . this is the problem. I guess
t1 : maybe your gpg agent is stuck between states.
t1 : I don't recall the command to restart the GPG agent, but restarting the agent should probably fix it.
t1 : `gpg-connect-agent reloadagent /bye`
source : https://superuser.com/a/1183544
t1 : *uploads ASCII-armored key file*
t1 : but please don't use this permanently; this is a temporary key
t2 : ok
t2 : *uploads signed password file*
t1 : thanks
t2 : cool
*5 minutes later*
t1 : hey, I have forgotten the password to the key I sent you :(
t2 : okay
...
t2 : fall back to SSH public key encryption?
t1 : is that even possible?
t2 : Stack Overflow says its possible
t1 : * does a web search too *
t1 : source?
t2 : https://superuser.com/questions/...
t2 : lets try it out
t1 : okay
t2 : is this your key? *sends link to gitlab.com/username.keys*
t1 : yes, please use the ED25519 key.
t1 : the second one is my old 4096-bit RSA key...
t1 : which I lost
...
t1 : wait, you can't use the ED25519 key
t2 : why not?
t1 : apparently, ED25519 key is not supported
t1 : I was trying out the steps from the answer and I hit this error :
`do_convert_to_pkcs8: unsupported key type ED25519`
t2 : :facepalm: now what
t1 : :shrug:
...
t1 : *uploads ASCII-armored key file*
t1 : I'm sure of the password for this key
t1 : I use it everyday
t2 : *uploads signed password file*
*1 minute later*
t1 : finally... I have decrypted the file and gotten the password.
t1 : now attempting to login
t1 : I'm in!
...
t2 : I think this should be in an XKCD joke
t2 : Two tech guys sharing password.
t1 : I know a better place for it - devRant.com
t1 : if you haven't been there before; don't go there now.
t1 : go on a Friday evening; by the time you get out of it, it'll be Monday.
t1 : and you'll thank me for a _weekend well spent_
t2 : hehe.. okay.8 -
i transferred money to my US account and it "arrived" tuesday
however, due to the absolute JOKE of the US banking system, its now FRIDAY, and THE MONEY STILL ISNT CREDITED TO MY ACCOUNT
i saw once on a video a guy was basically explaining "transfers" in US banks essentially actually just movements of text files on FTP servers somewhere? Is this really true?9 -
SCW (Secure Code Warrior) IS TOTAL, COMPLETE AND UTTER SHIT!
I keep finding outright and definite mistakes... for example: two solutions that are 100% identical - I copied and diff'd them to be sure I wasn't stoned... the code they show has ZERO comments, so you have ZERO context for anything (and it's written like shit on top of it - I'd fire a motherfucker if they turned in ridiculous crap like this regularly)... I've found answers where one is a subset of another so the "superset" answer should be considered correct as well, so you effectively have two right answers (in other words: this is one of those "you better pick the EXACT answer we WANT you to pick, even if another is TECHNICALLY correct too, doesn't matter, you gotta divine which WE say is right" situations)... there's not enough information given in some cases to even realistically attack the problem... and so on.
It's just fucking garbage, but now I HAVE to get a passing score on the fucking thing to meet a work requirement and you think anyone is going to give two shits if I point out the problems? Of COURSE not! Just need to check the box, so now I have to waste hours of my day fighting through this horseshit just to say I did it.
Is there any value in it? FUCK NO! It's actually NEGATIVE value since now I'm not doing what I'm actually paid to do.
And the worst part is I absolutely, 100% know all this shit! It's not like it's a problem because I fundamentally don't know the concepts. But because your platform is a joke it's making it a nightmare for me.
FUCK THIS SHIT! Friday is over early because of this, I'll bash my head against the wall again on Monday.2 -
so... either its justified and i should be reporting for harassment or i am overreacting to a water cooler talk, please help me decide next action:
we are in morning standup zoom call. boss (AVP) comes, jokes about who's birthday is coming next month, no one says a thing, then i joked Gandhiji's. his reaction : "ugh bro why do you always have to ruin the friday mood?" and I also laugh "well..." topic changes.
^--- this part is all good. he is AVP, He rarely joins the call and is a cool fun (but strict) guy. the problem happens in a side teams chat room
so we have an "emotional support android" group. we just named it that to prevent scrutiny, its really just a group where everyone is usually ranting and bitching. however it just includes us android devs.
so while i am making this joke in teams, one guy messages there about what a stupid statement that was + 2 abuses (hindi abuses, there translation would loose the impact)
i am all in for bitching and everything , but i felt bad for this. this group does include the word "android" and android folks, some of which are not even here. if this was a personal chat, i had ignored it, but i am trying to make a name as a dev and this undermines my statements in general.
furthermore this guy is 6 months old in team and i have been here for more than 1.5 years. he is 2 years older than me, but we are always cool and we often help each other in tasks
I am angry for the public humiliation and feel like reporting to my TL, HR or even the AVP. he is not even realising that he hurt me. actually the office environment has gone so toxic that the tl is herself threatening and scolding for every basic things and we are all but bitching to each other about it. he is mostly my guy, always taking my side and i take his, but i feel like my dignity is being impacted
or am i stupid to get hurt at this?14