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Search - "no ducks"
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I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:
* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
me: ...
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?
since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"7 -
My friend had the bright idea of making a version of bubble sort that plays a quacking sound effect on every swap. I added in different variations of the same sound effect for various conditions.
We named it "Quacksort," and one of the professors asked us to present it to the intro class.
My career has reached its peak.3 -
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my latest employee, Dave the Duck! Dave is the new head of debugging and took the job to support his out-of-hand caffeine addiction and 72 children (of which paternity tests are still being done on 10). Dave is also wanted in 4 countries as the leader of the popular gang, known as the Dangerous Ducks. Please do no feed Dave, as he is on a strict diet. #DaveTheDuck #ProgrammersTools #ImNotThatCrazy10
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If y'all need a lil help with clients and conversating, here's my personal way of ending conversations. Just acknowledge it! (If all else fails, take things into consideration)
Friend: I hear that the most viewed youtube video ever is now despacito
> I acknowledge that
*conversation end*
Co-worker: I love my new shoes!
> I acknowledge that
*end*
Hot girl: hey sexy, you're looking fine today
> I acknowledge that
*end*
Client: hey could you add x?
> No
*end*
Sibling: you're adopted
> I acknowledge that
*end*
(Consideration example)
Windows: I will update
> I will take that into consideration
*end*
trogus: I will make a line of debugging ducks with capes with their respective language on it
dfox: I acknowledge that
*end*
Bus driver: sir please wake up the busses are closed
> I acknowledge that *sleeps*
*end*
Python: wrong amount of tabs/spaces
> I acknowledge that *uninstalls python*
*end*
devRant: you are running out of characters for this rant
> I ackno12 -
#newlifenewhope -> update no. 0 / Day 0
it's about the end of Day 0, front office is taking shape. the pantry is cleaned.
can't wait to see how my repurposed bunker will look like.
Order and Shipment progress :
- My Server supposed to be arrive tommorow
- Rubber Ducks Package Delivery is accepted by courier
- 2 weeks before my Office Requirements Arrive
Further Update for my Little Office Installment will be tagged as : #newlifenewhope
Stay Tuned !2 -
Matryoshkas are better companions than Ducks, and here's why:
-Made with wood. The material of Men! No industrialized rubber to spread Capitalist propaganda
-Multi-layer. Explain your code with different levels of complexity. Babushka Matryoshka is keen on C!
-Never feel alone. Maybe you want some intimate one on one, maybe you want a whole party of helpers, all thanks to pocket dimensions (included with the Matryoshkas).
So what's your excuse for not having a Matryoshka Comrade cyka!9 -
newlifenewhope Update No.1 / Day 2
It's so hard to formulate company's Vision and Mission, even rubber ducks is not helpful. I need my vision to be unambiguous. this will take a while to finalize
My Server arrived and not opened yet
The Dozen of rubber ducks is delayed for another 3 days.2 -
I'm getting addicted to collectables.
New one is the storm trooper. Me no like rubber ducks.
Thanks china... Would never pay 30 dollars for a doll :p3 -
So a few weeks back guy I used to work with contacts me for some dev work on a UK project he is working on, it's the Thursday and they need the thing the coming Monday. I tell him it's totally impossible, and it was so he asks what can done and how much, as well as how much for the entire project.
I stipulate exactly what can be done, with exclusions and say 7.5k and them mail over a detailed quote for 30k for everything.
I get told it's all fine, I must go ahead. I get through a bit more than expected by the Monday, but they still needed something to demo and I set I can get enough for demo in place by Thursday.
They demo to business and money and all that and everyone is happy and tell me to finish up along with some changes, and I don't even adjust the price as it was more work they wanted outside of the original spec.
Get to probably 80% done and they say we need to pause they need to look over other feedback.
Next thing, the PM come back, no they were never actually happy with the quote and they found some other guy willing to do the entire thing for 7.5k and they willing to only give me that for the code I have written so far. Cunts.
Anyway, he tries to take some blame for it, even though I know it's BS and says he will pay in another 7.5k from his share if I am willing and we call it quits.
This people, is why I don't freelance.
I feel sorry for this new kid, he clearly under quoted, and yes I am expensive, but with decades experience having worked on international projects for one of the largest digital asset management firms, my countries leading fintech dev house and now the lead developer for my countries largest insurance software dev house, you damn fucking strait my free time comes at a premium, as you are getting top fucking quality, 100% tested, high performing code.
They can go fuck an entire flock of ducks when they come back after this half ling fucks up the diamond I coded up for them.
Even funnier, they a UK based company, so for them this was a 1.5k project. Cheap cunts.3 -
Rubber duck debugging. When you find that explaining your problem to another person helps you come up with the answer but you hate people and/or have no friends. Yay for rubber ducks3
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TLDR: Walmart bug 😠
As a dev, I know that bugs happen. But as a dev from a small shop that has many clients and very few devs, I absolutely despise when a large company with many devs has a bug in a product that millions of people use.
WalmartContacts.com. How many devs do they have? And how many dedicated to this 1 product? How many people in QA? (how many on DevRant... lol)
And yet I can't even place an order using their reorder functionality. Seems like they should have this shit down. Seems like they should have all their regression testing ducks in a row. Seems like they should at least show some kind of error message so the user knows what's going on. Instead, no message at all, just the final checkout payment page reloading when I submit leaving me to wonder if my card has been charged or not.3 -
Swag idea: Rubber ducks with the DevRant face on them instead of a ducks face. No beak. Just a freaky slash where the beak should be. 👍🏻
The whole duck can even be the speech bubble orange!
I don't know about anyone else but I'd buy the shit out of this!4 -
To be honest I forgot completely about the ducks and was kind of disappointed to see them, don't understand me wrong, its a great addition to the shop (especially to support devrant more when buying them and I will probably do too) and trogus (wow it's pronounced t-rogus) deserves a lot of respect for going through the very hard process of developing it, getting somebody to do a decent quality result etc. but I was hoping for the new site that got hyped up some time ago or some update to the app that fixes design issues on phones that have 2k resolution and no statusbar and more. ("just open a github issue" - I don't have one right now and it didn't get much attention anyway, since I am in the niche of people with those kind of setups, most people it seems have phones that can even barely run the app lol). The login still pops up each time you visit the site (basically just click it away, but it's rather annoying to have it pop up), it's nowhere near to the original app (although the native app is written in some sort of wrapper anyway?) - especially what comes to options, customizing, deactivating things, posting into categories (newest feature), getting notifications etc
There is some community builds that try to recreate a better desktop experience, but sadly fail to do so (sorry to devrantron and others, but what the fuck were you thinking when you rounded only the top right and left corner?) - since they always have something that is just thrown out to "be there" or design fails (which devrant just lacks and looks good across the board), that makes me rather cautious if that program doesn't send my credentials to some african prince. ("just look at the sourcecode", yes I have better things to do, thanks)
I could just create my own build, having to reverse engineer the whole website and app (granted, most of it are just api calls), but I simply lack the time (so I understand why my mentioned problems aren't getting really any attention or can't be implemented that fast, yet still its somewhat bugging)
I have listened to the Q&A and I know you guys are working full time at for example adobe (amazing that you both have time to be putting it towards devrant), so its not as much of a rant, just wanted to get out my disappointment about the event I felt personally. Still nice to have seen you and talk with the community a bit (although the time I feel was picked more towards your US audience rather than EU?).3 -
One of those ducks better have my name on it.
But sadly not 😖
No Wayne but a William, all ways same shit, might as well change my name.6 -
if (!rant) Fuck oranges
else
It's about time we make some God fucking damn things fucking God fucking clear. What the fuck does programming have to do with fucking non-programming?
Honestly. Fucking fucks pretending to be fucking programmers (probably not you, but fuck off if you're one of those fuckers.) FUCK SUCH PEOPLE FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK fuck FUCK!
There. Now that's out there. Leave fucking programming to the fucking fuckers who fucking know some-fucking-thing fucking ab-fucking-out it. If you're learning, ask questions, without you there'd be no fucking future for good fucking programmers. But if you're a fucking fuck fucking ducks in the fucking park--fuck the God fucking damn the fuck OFF!3 -
I was in a okay mood. Then i drank. I had fun skyping with some people (dont judge, it was their choice). Now im drunk, alone and getting more and more depressed.
Im honestly considering going to McDonalds and give away a few rubber ducks and show some card tricks, maybe ill get some friends. Or haters.
Conclusion: I hate when i get drunk. When im sober, i cant wait to get drunk. This isnt even a conclusion, i have no idea what im doing.12