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Search - "phone faced"
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I'm at my seat during the regular morning routine of checking emails, planning the things I need to complete/study when my phone rings.
HR: Good Morning, can you come over to the conference room please ?
Me: Sure
I enter the conference room and on the other side of the table, I see a group of 3 HR Managers (not a very nice feeling), especially when it was 10 months into my first job as a Trainee Software Developer.
HR: The company hasn't been performing as expected. For this reason, we've been told to cut down our staff. We're sorry but we have to let you go. You've been doing a great job all along. Thank you.
Me: ---- (seriously ?!)
The security-in-chief 'escorts' me out of the premises and I hand over the badge. I'm not allowed to return to my desk.
This happened about 16 years ago. But it stuck with me throughout my programming career.
A couple of Lessons Learnt which may help some of the developers today :
- You're not as important as you think, no matter what you do and how well you do it.
- Working hard is one thing, working smart is another. You'll understand the difference when your appraisals comes around each year.
- Focus on your work but always keep an eye on your company's health.
- Be patient with your Manager; if you're having a rough time, its likely he/she is suffering more.
- Programming solo is great fun. However it takes other skills that are not so interesting, to earn a living.
- You may think the Clients sounds stupid, talks silly and demands the stars; ever wonder what they think about you.
- When faced with a tough problem, try to 'fix' the Client first, then look for a solution.
- If you hate making code changes, don't curse the Client or your Manager - we coders collectively created a world of infinite possibilities. No point blaming them.
- Sharing your ideas matter.
- Software Development is a really long chain of ever-growing links that you may grok rather late in your career. But its still worth all the effort if you enjoy it.
I like to think of programming as a pursuit that combines mathematical precision and artistic randomness to create some pretty amazing stuff.
Thanks for reading.14 -
NO FUCKING GOOD NIGHT FOR FLOYD.
THIS MULTI FACTOR AUTHENTICATION IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
So my organisation uses some MFA app as an SSO to access any and everything. Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful. No VPN shit and one password to rule them all.
But, for some reason I accidentally deleted the app from my phone and as any normal human being would do, I also reinstalled the app.
Well, post reinstalling, the app does not detect the linked Org account.
I was cool, when I'll login, the system will throw a prompt to map the phone.
So I login to org URL from my machine and lo and behold, the URL says that MFA is already linked to the phone and I have to enter the Citrix type code to login.
But phone does not show the code because account is no longer linked and web does not have option to change/re-register the phone.
What the actual unholy fuck?????? Bloody retards. How am I suppose to get in now?
So after a Googling for a bit, a thread mentioned that this is most common issue faced by users with this MFA app. The only way to get this resolved is to contact your IT team.
Cool. Let's do that.
I opened the link to my IT portal and it asks me to login via SSO which is what I need help with in first place.
I can't login to Slack because fuckers ask SSO every time the app is exited. So no contact there.
Thankfully bastards allow Outlook so was able to drop a note to one of my team member, whom I connected recently and is very nice, asking her to help me sort this IT team.
If this is the most common use case then why the fuck not add a feature to help people overcome this shit?
And my IT team is absolute nuts. No other way allowed to reset the linking or connect them or any help links provided on login page.
Whoever was behind this design should be dipped in donkey shit and deep fried in pig urine.6 -
We had 1 Android app to be developed for charity org for data collection for ground water level increase competition among villages.
Initial scope was very small & feasible. Around 10 forms with 3-4 fields in each to be developed in 2 months (1 for dev, 1 for testing). There was a prod version which had similar forms with no validations etc.
We had received prod source, which was total junk. No KT was given.
In existing source, spelling mistakes were there in the era of spell/grammar checking tools.
There were rural names of classes, variables in regional language in English letters & that regional language is somewhat known to some developers but even they don't know those rural names' meanings. This costed us at great length in visualizing data flow between entities. Even Google translate wasn't reliable for this language due to low Internet penetration in that language region.
OOP wasn't followed, so at 10 places exact same code exists. If error or bug needed to be fixed it had to be fixed at all those 10 places.
No foreign key relationships was there in database while actually there were logical relations among different entites.
No created, updated timestamps in records at app side to have audit trail.
Small part of that existing source was quite good with Fragments, MVP etc. while other part was ancient Activities with business logic.
We have to support Android 4.0 to 9.0 of many screen sizes & resolutions without any target devices issued to us by the client.
Then Corona lockdown happened & during that suddenly client side professionals became over efficient.
Client started adding requirements like very complex validation which has inter-entity dependencies. Then they started filing bugs from prod version on us.
Let's come to the developers' expertise,
2 developers with 8+ years of experience & they're not knowing how to resolve conflicts in git merge which were created by them only due to not following git best practice for coding like only appending new implementation in existing classes for easy auto merge etc.
They are thinking like handling click events is called development.
They don't want to think about OOP, well structured code. They don't want to re-use code mostly & when they copy paste, they think it's called re-use.
They wanted to follow old school Java development in memory scarce Android app life cycle in end user phone. They don't understand memory leaks, even though it's pin pointed by memory leak detection tools (Leak canary etc.).
Now 3.5 months are over, that competition was called off for this year due to Corona & development is still ongoing.
We are nowhere close to completion even for initial internal QA round.
On top of this, nothing is billable so it's like financial suicide.
Remember whatever said here is only 10% of what is faced.
- An Engineering lead in a half billion dollar company.4 -
I get punched in the face by my phone (free falling on my face) so often that I should start suing the mofo for physical damages.
Like, what is wrong with my muscles? Why can't I keep a goddamn phone at a goddamn safe distance and type without goddamn dropping it while lying down? 😠😠14 -
The company I used to work for, despite me not working there contacts me to get a verification code because the crappy developer they hired can't change a couple settings on the apple website and add themselves as a developer.
At the start of this all, a couple months back I gave them the code out of courtesy, but at this point, as i'm heavily invested in the development stage of my actual job as a vr developer, I won't take time out of my day to even answer the phone for them.
But what really pisses me off is the person who contacts me, my assumbly best friend, who during the last 12 months has only called me for these codes, so work related shit or just personal shit and never to hang out or play games or generally what we used to do as friends before he got a job at that stupid company doesn't have the balls to tell his boss that i'm busy with my job, that maybe if payment was offered as an incentive that I would be happy to be contacted.
When I left that company I didn't setup anything to make it so they would have to contact me, all I did was add myself as a developer of their app. I also heavily documented everything I did, all the issues I faced and the workarounds I found, and everything including all login information needed to get things working, I went above just "developing" the app I added in all the credits to all work used in the app as partly to make sure we don't get sued for stealing someones work without the right credit.
I hate the fact that I worked for minimum wage and did all of this shit, but I never complained at all about things like the 1 1/2 hour travel time (one way I might add) to my boss, the amount of money I spent on public transportation, the little money left over that I didn't even spend and instead give to my parents.
They know nothing about how hard that year was for me, and if they want to get this code, my so called friend can come chat in person, in his off time and when I'm done working on my own shit and we can discuss terms because this shit is just not fair at all.5 -
I have lost now another device to planned obscolence (how is that still legal), my g3 officially took its last breath two days ago, first it was its battery dying (thousands of devices broke that way [exactly two years after buying it] and at that time there was no batteries to replace it with) - whoever was brave enough to hold onto his device for longer than the battery failure - he then faced the simcard reader breaking and that was my case now too.
I asked many colleagues for help and even found a guy that does repairs for the oldest phones (got too excited), but even he couldnt find the issue, besides a guess that its the main chip that partially died on purpose or it got somewhere desoldered by the always and poorly managed overheating issue, which would cost almost the same to replace as just getting a new phone in the end and even then, theres probably a third switch they planned, to give you the final bullet.
I got a Xiaomi Redmi Note 4 now and really gotta say they have an amazing near vanilla android experience and their "two phone" isolated spaces are quite handy to seperate work and private notifications, apps and files.
It was even compatible with lineageOS and has a simple website to unlock the bootloader (a first for me, never saw any company making it that easy), but after trying their version of it, I don't even have to switch.
I will still miss the vibration motor of the g3, the feedback of it when typing is still to this day the best one I ever tried.8 -
Some humans are calm and thoughtful, some annoyingly complicated, while others with behaviours too difficult to comprehend.
I got a call from the office (former from 6 months ago) and it's from the G.M herself.
** Phone rings **
Hmm see who's calling...
Me: * Picks up phone and set it on loud speaker, so my partner can also listen *
Me: Hello Ma
G.M: Hey (calls me by my full name)
Me: It's really nice to he...
G.M: Why would you move the YETI server hosted on AWS to Azure! We have been faced with lots of challenges ever since and that has cost the company a lot.
Me: Pardon me Ma, but that...
G.M: That is a very bad and unacceptable behaviour from you and I can have the company sue you for this.
Me: Excuse me Ma, but...
G.M: I have spoken with the director of C.M.D quaters (A sister company) and explained the situation on ground about what you did before leaving without having any prior permission. What nonsense!
** At this point my partner let's call her "CC"... was more confused than me**
CC : **Panicking** Who's that? What did you do? I thought you said you no longer work at that firm, what's going on?
Now I'm confused cus I don't even know who to reply.
Me: **Signals CC to calm the fuck down**
G.M: ** Still talking and spitting out millions of threats to the guy who left the company with evil deeds in mind...**
CC who literally hates suspense and also a half cool and half crackhead kind of person... Tries stealing the phone from me so she could pour out whatever is on her mind to the caller because of how disgusted she felt, mostly for reasons I quite understood but nevertheless i kept the phone far from her reach while we both enjoyed the suiting voice of *a threat giver*
Honestly at this point my closest guess was "Joe, who must have fucked up big time" because Joe is the company's SysAdmin and has a lot of fucked up records (One time Joe tried to convert all system OSes to Linux even with our hydra servers with pre-installed windows running smoothly, his action caused a noticeable server down-time all for the reason of Joe being a Linux freak). He and only he has the power to transfer/switch/off/on servers at will. I really don't know what Joe must have done but sure thing is there is a fuck up somewhere.
Talking about me, I was only a developer enthroned only within his desk and secondly I no longer worked there. Who fucking calls a retired soldier about a lost battle after six freaking months later! Just fucking sink with your ship captain!
But how can I explain all of this to G.M without implicating Joe and also not look like snitch, I thought to myself.
While I was pondering within myself and the call which has long been disconnected, CC broke the silence.
CC: Giddy, Can you honestly explain me why your old company is calling talking about lawyers and suing you? Have you been lying to me about your work?
Me: *Explained the situation to CC*
CC: But why was she that saucy and acting a bitch? You should have spare me a minute with her.
Me: She wouldn't let me speak but we good CC. We good.
The woman that just called is the G.M. of the firm I had formerly worked with and she's also the wife to the M.D of the same firm which was my former direct Boss whom I respect a lot. Having a disjunct with the wife can also affect the relationship with the husband, which I don't want to lose. So we cool!
Maybe I should text her or maybe not... But before then
** Another call comes in **
It's her again.
GM: Hello Giddy (Sounding calm)
Me: (WTF. She called me by my first name and also sounds cool... More confused than a stray dog) ...Yeah Hello
GM: I just called to let you know that my accusation was wrong because I was misinformed. Joe Nosa was in charge on Systems but why didn't you correct me on that during our last conversation?
Me: ... 😲
CC: (Drags the phone) Hello and Good morning whosoever...
G.M: Sorry who am I speaking with?
CC: (Introduced herself) I overheard your last conversation with Giddy, and I demand you appogise to him both in written and in verbal because not only did you accused him falsely, you also almost bridge the trust between us which may have cost the relationship.
Me: ...
** Long awkward silence **
G.M: Hey Giddy, I'm sorry. Just angry about what went down recently.
Me: All good ma'am
CC: ** Hangs up **1 -
its 3:08 AM here and i think i just had sleep paralysis, few moments ago.
I woke in the afternoon last morning. Soo was not feeling sleepy. Thought of just closing eyes for few minutes before picking a book. That was around 2 AM
Next thing i could remember, All of sudden, I faced a force from back, like holding me from moving. I could not move my hand, face, body or anything. I felt like i was conscious. Then a few seconds later, it was all gone. I couldn't make noise, but tried to make some. Just after few second, felt like i came back to consciousness. I was scared to hell. Didn't even had courage to pick phone lying a feet from me, on bed.
I felt something like this, after more than two years, if i could remember properly. I still don't have courage to turn my back6 -
I was watching an Ancient Aliens episode called "Beyond Roswell". The show described the idea of some of our tech being seeded slowly by introducing alien technology to specific companies. They suggested that computing technology has advanced very fast and introducing this tech could be part of that.
At first I was kinda pissed about this. I have read about the creation of the first transistor back in the 40s or 50s. WWII really advanced our need for computing devices such as what Turing built. Then I realized a lot of the explosion of computer tech did occur after key ET events. This kind of made me wonder how much is "us" and how much is ET tech. I also realized it can take a lot of effort to understand something really advanced. So reverse engineering can take a LOT of effort to figure these things out. Being seeded by external tech does not take away from humans at all.
A parallel to this is a programmer that learns how to use a C++ compiler. They could go their whole career without ever understanding how the compiler itself is doing its job. I find myself wanting to learn how compilers work and started down this path. I look at the simple grammar I have learned to parse. Then I look at the C++ grammar and think "How can I ever learn to do that?" So I see us viewing potentially advanced things and wondering how the heck can we ever learn to do that. The common reaction when faced with such tech would be disbelief and in some cases ridiculing the messenger. When I was a kid the idea of sending a picture over a phone was laughable. Now this is common and expected. It was literally a scifi concept when I was a kid.
So, back to the alien tech. I am now thinking it would be cool to be working with alien technology through computing. This is like scifi stuff now! So what if what we have was not all invented here (Earth). If anything this will prepare us programmers to get jobs working for alien corporations writing ship level programs and brain interfaces. Think of it as intergalactic resume building. 😉