Guys, I've been thinking.

When I get married I'm gonna make my partner agree to terms of service and my privacy policy instead of the lame wedding vows 😛

Instead of 'I do', it'll be 'I agree'.

Should also probably make him sign an NDA incase things go south.

Edit:
Also, probably a code of bathroom conduct. (I just remembered that football while peeing rant)

New Year's vows:

- not waste time
- maximum productivity
- maximum speed
- cloak engaged (ok, just kidding)
- finally finish learning Java
- learn enterprise programming
- not be a jerk to people (bleh)

Portrait of Me, Writting Documentation -- a short french film:

The processes applied to any section of memory utilized for a given purpose should be strictly limited to those declared by the associated type that encapsulates the purpose in question until release or mutation.

That is to say, improperly encoding the intended usage of such a block by utilizing an identical type or alias thereof for a multitude of incompatible situations, giving place to guesswork to arise, constitutes the prostitution of an abstraction.

Such heinous acts of symbolical pimping have received strong condemnation from multiple digital rights organizations, as well as our own, prestigious office. Let it be made Crystal, Alizé and Hennessy clear, that we will not stand for this kind of degenerate practice, and that any heretical sects and cabals built around worship of the strange creatures that arise every eleventh night from the depths of the Black Mausoleum will be prosecuted with the full force of the law.

As a young, corageous man once said at the peak of his career: "it is only through the self-inflicted, hyperbolic discharge of smouldered, comminute perennial anadenanthera colubrina spermatic fluid that the cannonical transfiguration of our collective rectosigmoid junction can be brought to fruition". He was immediately violated with might and ire far beyond our wildest, most profligately depraved fantasies, yet his message lives on.

I leave you now to be ritually and figuratively blown by a posssessed mortician that is to become concubine to our dark master; the long journey to the old graveyard will be perilous, and my destination most assuredly fatal, as I depart to give my firstborn to our Lord Berzchjanzad -- a blood sacrifice meant to appease him from peeling off my skin and refashioning it into a bloodied scarf to be worn around his thumping, grandemonic cock.

And in this moment, as I stare blankly at this teleprompter, the president wishes to reassure you of his sacred vows of stalwart and promethean gayhood, and may __these__ nuts bounce on chins forevermore. Here's to *not* bleeding to death in retribution for this unending litany of sins...

Yet all predictions come to pass.

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Capture Your Love Story with April Simmons Photography
Welcome to April Simmons Photography, where I specialize in documenting the beautiful moments of love and connection. Based in the stunning Central Coast of California, I offer personalized photography services, including being an Avila Beach engagement photographer and a Templeton wedding photographer. My mission is to create timeless images that tell your unique love story.

Avila Beach Engagement Photographer: Celebrate Your Journey Together
Engagements are a beautiful milestone in every couple's journey, and what better way to celebrate than with a stunning photoshoot at Avila Beach? As an Avila Beach engagement photographer, I take advantage of the breathtaking coastal scenery to create romantic and memorable images that reflect your relationship.

The picturesque beaches, rolling waves, and golden sunsets provide the perfect backdrop for capturing your love in its purest form. Whether you prefer a relaxed stroll along the shore or a playful beach picnic, I’ll work with you to design a session that highlights your unique personalities and connection.

During our session, I encourage you to be yourselves. This approach allows for authentic moments that truly showcase the love and joy you share. Together, we’ll create a collection of images that not only capture the excitement of your engagement but also serve as cherished memories for years to come.

Templeton Wedding Photographer: Your Special Day, Perfectly Captured
Your wedding day is one of the most significant events in your life, and as a dedicated Templeton wedding photographer, I understand how important it is to capture every moment beautifully. Templeton, with its charming vineyards and picturesque landscapes, provides a stunning backdrop for your wedding celebration.

From the heartfelt vows to the joyful celebrations with family and friends, I strive to document every detail of your special day. My photography style combines both candid and posed shots, ensuring that I capture the essence of your love story. I aim to highlight the emotions, connections, and joyful moments that make your wedding unique.

I believe that your wedding photos should reflect your personality and style, which is why I take the time to understand your vision before the big day. Whether you’re planning an intimate gathering or a grand celebration, I’ll ensure that your photographs tell the story of your love and the beautiful day you shared.

Why Choose April Simmons Photography?
Personalized Experience: I work closely with each couple to understand their unique vision, ensuring that every session reflects their story and style.
Quality Imagery: Using high-quality equipment and a creative eye, I deliver stunning images that capture the beauty of your moments.
Timely Delivery: I understand how excited you are to see your photos, so I prioritize prompt delivery without sacrificing quality.
Book Your Session Today!
If you’re looking for an Avila Beach engagement photographer to celebrate your love or a Templeton wedding photographer to capture your special day, look no further than April Simmons Photography. Contact me today at +1 (805) 712-3802 to discuss your vision and book your session. Let’s create beautiful memories together that you will cherish for a lifetime!