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Search - "while!malloc()"
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Amazing! My joke functionality worked and the server delivered it's content successfully to the client. The joke: malloc is wrapped to give that message and retry IMMEDIATELY. Expectation is that the computer that was already in panic mode gets even fucked up more because it's out of memory. My malloc is literally while((ptr=malloc()} == NULL) { show_warning()
;malloc();}. Imagine if it didn't give that warning, I would've never known that a malloc failed. Who checks their freaking malloc result? You should, but i do not see much people doing it.
The previous crash on screen is what happens if you're doing a get instead of a post. I just declare my server app indestructible btw. Ffs!5 -
!rant
I just remembered some joke I said while we had C++ classes.
To see who will actually listen to me, I said : "Hey, I heard you can malloc a dynamic array."1 -
I found a vulnerability in an online compiler.
So, I heard that people have been exploiting online compilers, and decided to try and do it (but for white-hat reasons) so I used the system() function, which made it a lot harder so i decided to execute bash with execl(). I tried doing that but I kept getting denied. That is until I realized that I could try using malloc(256) and fork() in an infinite loop while running multiple tabs of it. It worked. The compiler kept on crashing. After a while I decided that I should probably report the vulnerabilites.
There was no one to report them to. I looked through the whole website but couldn't find any info about the people who made it. I searched on github. No results. Well fuck.7 -
I wrote a parody of Sound of Silence based on the struggles of cleaning up people's shit in the shop
============
Hello problems, my old friends
I've come to talk with you again
Because a driver softly creeping
Left its seeds while RAM was leaking
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of crashing
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow bands of networking
'Neath the halo of a burned-out fan
I turned my collar to the hot and spinning
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of an LED light
That split the night
And touched the sound of crashing
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand tasks, maybe more
Programs malloc with no swap
Programs writing with no space
Programs writing bits that voices never play
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of crashing
"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
Malware, like a plague, it grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my tools that I might help you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of crashing
And the programs bowed and prayed
To the malware god they made
And Windows flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And Windows said, "The words of the prophets are written in the event log
And dumped over COM"
And whispered in the sounds of crashing2 -
My N3DS is currently on its way to its grave. I've had malloc issues since I got it, but recently buttons have begun to fail and it's begun to randomly hardlock, when it happens it's so badly locked up that even NMIs fail to get through.
Luckily, it's hacked, so I can decrypt and export everything now before it's totally toast.
Still feels bad, though... it's been the home of 2 DSi's worth of data for a while now as well as new stuff. It's got some emotional weight to it.5 -
YGGG IM SO CLOSE I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT.
Register allocation pretty much done: you can still juggle registers manually if you want, but you don't have to -- declaring a variable and using it as operand instead of a register is implicitly telling the compiler to handle it for you.
Whats more, spilling to stack is done automatically, keeping track of whether a value is or isnt required so its only done when absolutely necessary. And variables are handled differently depending on wheter they are input, output, or both, so we can eliminate making redundant copies in some cases.
Its a thing of beauty, defenestrating the difficult aspects of assembly, while still writting pure assembly... well, for the most part. There's some C-like sugar that's just too convenient for me not to include.
(x,y)=*F arg0,argN. This piece of shit is the distillation of my very profound meditations on fuckerous thoughtlessness, so let me break it down:
- (x,y)=; fuck you in the ass I can return as many values as I want. You dont need the parens if theres only a single return.
- *F args; some may have thought I was dereferencing a pointer but Im calling F and passing it arguments; the asterisk indicates I want to jump to a symbol rather than read its address or the value stored at it.
To the virtual machine, this is three instructions:
- bind x,y; overwrite these values with Fs output.
- pass arg0,argN; setup the damn parameters.
- call F; you know this one, so perform the deed.
Everything else is generated; these are macro-instructions with some logic attached to them, and theres a step in the compilation dedicated to walking the stupid program for the seventh fucking time that handles the expansion and optimization.
So whats left? Ah shit, classes. Disinfect and open wide mother fucker we're doing OOP without a condom.
Now, obviously, we have to sanitize a lot of what OOP stands for. In general, you can consider every textbook shit, so much so that wiping your ass with their pages would defeat the point of wiping your ass.
Lets say, for simplicity, that every program is a data transform (see: computation) broken down into a multitude of classes that represent the layout and quantity of memory required at different steps, plus the operations performed on said memory.
That is most if not all of the paradigm's merit right there. Everything else that I thought to have found use for was in the end nothing but deranged ways of deriving one thing from another. Telling you I want the size of this worth of space is such an act, and is indeed useful; telling you I want to utilize this as base for that when this itself cannot be directly used is theoretically a poorly worded and overly verbose bitch slap.
Plainly, fucktoys and abstract classes are a mistake, autocorrect these fucking misspelled testicle sax.
None of the remaining deeper lore, or rather sleazy fanfiction, that forms the larger cannon of object oriented as taught by my colleagues makes sufficient sense at this level for me to even consider dumping a steaming fat shit down it's execrable throat, and so I will spare you bearing witness to the inevitable forced coprophagia.
This is what we're left with: structures and procedures. Easy as gobblin pie.
Any F taking pointer-to-struc as it's first argument that is declared within the same namespace can be fetched by an instance of the structure in question. The sugar: x ->* F arg0,argN
Where ->* stands for failed abortion. No, the arrow by itself means fetch me a symbol; the asterisk wants to jump there. So fetch and do. We make it work for all symbols just to be dicks about it.
Anyway, invoking anything like this passes the caller to the callee. If you use the name of the struc rather than a pointer, you get it as a string. Because fuck you, I like Perl.
What else is there to discuss? My mind seems blank, but it is truly blank.
Allocating multitudes of structures, with same or different types, should be done in one go whenever possible. I know I want to do this, and I know whichever way we settle for has to be intuitive, else this entire project has failed.
So my version of new always takes an argument, dont you just love slurping diarrhea. If zero it means call malloc for this one, else it's an address where this instance is to be stored.
What's the big idea? Only the topmost instance in any given hierarchy will trigger an allocation. My compiler could easily perform this analysis because I am unemployed.
So where do you want it on the stack on the heap yyou want to reutilize any piece of ass, where buttocks stands for some adequately sized space in memory -- entirely within the realm of possibility. Furthermore, evicting shit you don't need and replacing it with something else.
Let me tell you, I will give your every object an allocator if you give the chance. I will -- nevermind. This is not for your orifices, porridges, oranges, morpheousness.
Walruses.16 -
On Windows, which one line input will get this code to print "Finally I get a sticker. Yayyyy!!!" immediately
#include <stdio.h>
int main()
{
char *c = (char*) malloc(sizeof(char) * 10);
int rants = 0;
while(rants<20)
{
printf("U don't want me to get a sticker?\n");
scanf("%s", c);
if(c[0] == 'y')
rants--;
else
rants++;
}
printf("Finally I get a sticker. Yayyyy!!!\n");
} -
Why in all fucks would you NOT preconfigure your language client BUT provide a shitload of highly biased default shortcuts just IN CASE some sorry soul took time to preconfigure one.
I'ma be totally honest here, Neovim has lost its way. Every single day I pick it up there's a fuckton of shitty new default bindings...
But that's not the worst of it
You see, they've cramming all sorts of shitty code in there. Like this one default commenting plugin... It does in 600 lines what my setup does in 50. Why? Because, while mine uses the lpeg lib maintainers decided to cram into the editor, the other does a fuckton of hacks so fucked that refactoring is impossible, impossível! Despicable.
Now, their C codebase... Ok, ok arena beats vanilla malloc, alright, kudos to that, BUT refactoring out that old fart of quasillions of legacy C? MADNESS! They should be focused on adding built-in auto completion??? Well-defined syntax highlighting conventions? A FUCKING FUZZY PICKER for fucksakes!! But, oh no, we've got better things to do like FUCKING THE USER IN THEIR ASSSSSSS
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DIS-FUCKINGTRESSED here
FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKK6