I feel like we should start trolling the spammers. They're sending us their contact details after all...

Today I spent 5 hours debugging.

It was a config issue.

I've just received news that Microsoft are to release a brand new search engine in China.

It will be called "Bing Bong".

Just sat through a demo of some clicky-draggy data visualisation stuff.

The guy showed us how you can write a custom script that takes a user input and pokes it into a sql command using string concatenation, so a very obvious injection vulnerability.

Ok, so it's only a demo. But you wouldn't do a demo with an example user called Captain Cock, so why do a demo with a screamingly obvious security hole?

Whole thing was basically pivot tables in a short skirt anyway.

A SQL Expert walks into a bar, goes up to two tables, and asks:

"Mind if I join you?"

i am on a phone call, and relying on the mute button for the life of me, that the other person does not hear my loud farting from massive shitting on the toilet

He did not 😢

For the love of buggery, stop watching bloody videos on your bloody phone with the bloody volume turned up.

I was thinking about something, just starting to get in the zone, when suddenly that tinny little speaker opened up a portal into the howling chaos of the underworld.

It sounds like cats fucking in an empty grain silo.

For the next half an hour, there is no room in my head for anything apart from the diabolical echoes of that bollock-wrenchingly hideous noise.

-10C winter is unpleasant. -20C winter is dangerous.

-40C winter is cruel. This was the reality of living in Komi Republic — the place I was born in.
Winters there combine extreme dryness with extreme cold. Steel on steel always sparks — gotta be careful at gas stations. Because there is no wind, you don’t actually feel like you’re freezing until it’s too late. If you’re drunk — and everyone there was drunk — you’re walking home, you see a bench, you think: “I’ll just rest for five minutes, no big deal”, and you’re found frozen to death the following morning.

My grandpa once forgot one year old me on the street at night, while — you guessed it — going to get something to drink. I spent something like three hours out there.

I barely made it. Now, my legs don’t feel cold anymore.

I think it's the first time in my life I've visited a google-owned page and got a default NGINX webpage.

Has anybody else gotten to the point where people who need to mansplain how language models aren't truly sentient/conscious/intelligent are now more annoying than people who think language models are sentient/conscious/intelligent?*

While it has been a tight race but I think I have just about hit the inflection point.

The amount of time I've wasted because of someone condescendingly barging into a conversation with a iamverysmart 'actually you see they are just automata trying to predict the next text tokens'. When in actuality, everybody in the discussion is aware and that is not the point.

And to further exacerbate it, with a good number of them it is really difficult to get this through their thick little skulls. They just keep parroting the same thing over and over. Ironically, in their singleminded ego driven desire to be the Daniel Dennett of the chat they actually come across as less sentient/conscious/intelligent than a language model.

(*this should not be taken as endorsement for or against that idea - it is actually mostly orthogonal to this rant)

If you could invent a new programming language, how would you name it?

google eye susan of the day

That's how I see my work

We hired a new developer and our manager (that was not involved in the hiring process) is impressed he actually manages to boot up his computer.

He spend a full 3 days trying to install python, not even setting up our own applications.... Just python...

Graphic designer vs. programmer.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch/...

Thank fuck it's Friday boys

JavaScript Motherfucking Asynchronous Bullshit.

I get it, for quite some stuff, async is very, very useful. But why on fucking earth do so goddamn many functions NEED this (and those callback functions) and can't do without?!

If there would be good and nicely understandable await documentation that actually fucking works, I'd be so happy.

I've currently got .then after .then after motherfucking then and its irritating me to no end as it, in this context, shouldn't even be necessary. This thing I'm writing doesn't give a fuck if something takes a few milliseconds before the rest of the program can continue!!

Fuck asynchronous programming in JavaScript for goddamn everything.

(I do love JavaScript!)

javascript is a piece of shit

Please die somewhere alone Delphi, you unknown piece of shit.

ExpressionChangedAfterContentCheckedError my ass.

Game reviews on Steam are now like, “Not recommended. Seemed like a good game, but the story is linear and there’s really nothing to do.” …with approximately 180hrs of playtime on record for a $25 game.

Do us all a favor and please continue to stare at your phone while walking into oncoming traffic.

Hi guys,

I don't really know where to begin so I'll just spew words and hope they make sense.

I was on an app called afterglow. Kind of an anonymous group therapy doo-hicky thing. I quite liked it. Then it closed. (Yes I've messaged the Devs, nothing)

I would rewrite it myself but I just CBA, which leads me to the main part.

I'm depressed. Severely. I won't go into details but I'm stuck in my job for a year, I has a repair and 3d printing sidehustle which I love, but my main job is fucking it up.

I'm not suicidal or SH, but I just wake up and wish I hadn't every morning.

How do you guys get yourself out of a rut?

P.s tell me to grow a pair, and I'll just take yours

Fuck designers!!! Again.

When trying to log into a financial site and it tells you your credentials are incorrect, when they aren't, all because you are using something other than Chrome or Safari is a new low.

Designers/BA: “just presenting my initial drafts to get the team approval here is this this and this”

Me: “oh I see something here that would probably not be good to do, can we change?”

Them: “Well it’s already too late in the process to change stuff around like this”

What then is the fucking point of making an “approval meeting” you lazy pieces of shit?!?

guide to make successful software house company for future me:

1.find shortest domain name with code / star / best / it / super / ai / - whatever banger word you find
2. parse companies work board / linkedin jobs
3. parse people profiles
4. setup email server and create fake linkedin profiles that match jobs and candidates so company looks big
5. fake c-level management so company looks big
6. spam likes and create posts generated by ai from multiple profiles
7. spam invitations to people that match job descriptions and to people working within companies posting jobs
8. offer fake candidates that match job description
9. find real but less promising candidates and offer them the job
10. tell that fake candidate is no longer available but you have someone better

success

I just recalled I once had to explain to my CTO what’s the difference between stack and heap memory

It baffled me a little bit, but contrary to what one might perhaps expect, this was a guy who was already making a living off of programming for about ten years selling his software to various clients, so he was clearly competent enough to create software that works, and he had in fact put this startup on its feet operationally with it already being profitable before outside investments were secured

And here I was with my theoretical CS knowledge making zero bucks before getting this job

My current project involves storing parents and children of parents in to a community database.

My current parameters include "availablechildren", "selectedchildren" and "forchildren"...and I'm worried somebody in this office is going to see this and I'm going to end up on some kind of register :S

Anything i write on this app i view it as my personal notes or a diary. Primarily im just talking to myself and you guys are just voices in my head telling me what to write in my diary. I own this land. You guys are myself. I'm talking to myself here. Im discussing ideas and events on my own, with myself and documenting all the bullshit on the journey. The wildest thoughts even the shitting ones are included. Letting out these thoughts to talk to myself makes me feel less lonely