Math is hard….

Everyone should be a doctor as a side gig

We were refining a tech debt issue about aligning the names and types of the same reference id on different response models. This is to not confuse our API users and make it more intuitive.

Discussion was wrapping up as we all agreed it was a no-brainer and pretty straight forward.

Then suddenly, one colleague goes: "But what's the benefit?"

Errrm...

LinkedIn suggesting me to connect to, based in my profile, as they say, a person who is an Astrology Professional.

I am a developer, and I only add developers.

LinkedIn, go home, you're drunk.

I have a software, that runs perfectly, but I'm porting it to rust for no reason at all.

I worried i would be jobless for six months. Ok i applied at at least 20 different companies but i’m only jobless for two weeks now =D

My eyes are bleeding!

Woah, this platform still exists. That's cool, idk why randomly I thought let's check devRant. lol

The floor is java

The most unrealistic deadline? Okay, here it goes. For context, this is one of my earliest jobs, and I’m actively using React.

— Kiki, I have a stunning idea! Let’s build a Figma clone!
— Okaaaay, 🧐
— You have two days.
— A what?
— I’ve just stumbled upon an amazing new technology. You maybe don’t know it yet. It’s called React.js, and you totally can build a full Figma clone in two days using it!
— …
— It’s a revolution, and you’re so ignorant for not following it. Are you even a real engineer?
— …

Two days later:
— Forget about Figma! Let’s build an online DAW for musicians!

That guy was nuts. I left when we had an executive meeting, I was explaining tech things, and he suddenly popped out a fucking tambourine and started striking it. One year later, he lost everything and went to get a junior C++ position at an outsourcing company.

Got yelled at because super important feature for a client was two days overdue.
The kicker is that they never even talked to IT about the feature let alone give us a decent spec/assignment.

So I guess my most unrealistic deadline was the day before yesterday...

get bug

find slack context

senior describes some stuff as magic and it's unfortunately not working as expected

fml

Why 95%+ devs are bad ???

Just did a recruitement for a post opf Principal Engeneer with possibuility to be CTO.

375 candidats at first interview.

Only 8 remaining for second phase

Our of 8, only 3 managed to complete a small code test.

Outr of 3, one asked for (I shit you not) 700k$ salary (lolz).

Out of 2 remaining, 1 just decided "I did for lolz to see if I get an offer so I can boost my current work salary",

Leaving us with only 1 candidate...

So fucking time consuming.....

Say “bug fixes and performance improvements” one more time! I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say “bug fixes and performance improvements” one more time!

Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!

I told you. I told you that adding this fancy library to the project was going to bring problems but nobody cared.

so Broadcom bought VMWare.... so now whenever you go to any community support page that used to be on VMWare's community, you're just always redirected to Broadcom's support homepage...

another billion dollar company that has failed to understand the basics in HTTP and DNS

what do i expect...

i don't know, they probably only have like 2 devs, i shouldn't be so hard on them

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

In my case, the most unrealistic deadline was when I was put on a project for 30 person days in 2008. The project had been running for about 6 months at that point.

I spoke to the project manager about my tasks and she told me to finish the fat client. So I immersed myself in the sources. And I was horrified to realize that not only was it not even a POC, but the performance was lousy to say the least. It took about 70 (sic!) seconds to start the program, read in about 20 records from a database and display them as a hierarchical structure.

I asked the PM when I was supposed to have finished my work, and her response was, "Yesterday."
"Very funny," I replied.
"No, really," she said, "the deadline was yesterday."

It took me an afternoon to speed up the fat client startup to 6 seconds. And then it took us another two weeks or so to identify the processes in discussions with the technical project manager. Because that didn't exist yet either.

About 1.5 years after the deadline, the software system - consisting of the fat client, mainframe modules and purchased software - was stable enough to be rolled out.

TLDR; of my current job:

Deal with shit that nobody wants to deal with, if I manage to make something good out of it, prepare that the credit will be stolen.

At a previous workplace, people wanted me to deal with shit that they wanted to blame me for it, so it’s kind of an improvement. But I wish I could find a normal job where I either do normal work or just have someone that would have my back and just say “idkhow did this” or “let’s bring them to this meeting as they might be able to help with the cool stuff too”.

Also, remember that one of my parents has cancer? I won’t be able to be there for the surgery, due to things out of my control. A lot of things feel out of control lately…

Its my birthday rn 🦁🎉

have you ever learned something you wish you hadn't and also what was it

We are now in a full swing enshittification of the entire internet. Almost no companies are interested in providing any value, it's the phase of securing the position between those that provide value and clients - and just collecting rents. Capture enough of the market, milk the product and the client, turn the service into shit while charging progressively more until it all burns and crashes. And then, well, pass go, collect $200, rinse and repeat.

wow office is full of pessimistic and unhappy people. being a covid graduate i didn't knew the sadistic life of office goers . can some of you pre covid people share instances of a positive ofice environment that made you go to office each day?

I like my current job, but the pay is fucking garbage :(

Me every day if i had a job

PHP is like the janitor in the school who has worked there for 40+ years and is liked by the authorities of the school. He has stood the test of time and has seen the highs and lows of life.

And the new gen-z kids, who don't even know how the world works/recently started exploring the world, hate that man for no reason except to look cool.

BTW, if you plan on commenting anything negative, just remember that the very platform you're using to do so, is built on PHP.

Writing code is a tedious job.
Let's write 20k lines of XML transforms instead.

ChatGPT is the less toxic, faster, smarter version of StackOverflow.

Mannn. I get the most botted responses on upwork now.

Describe your recent experience with webRTC and RTMP:

Applicant: <gives a definition of webRTC and RTMP>

🤦‍♂️

In this case, AI made things worse.

I'm starting to get the feeling that my boss is three 5 year old's standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat