LOL!!!

When you have maths but your code is calling

Programmers life #1

Not the meaning I expected from Urban D

We are all victims of ourselves 👇

Boss: I need this page to behave in a completely new way.
Me: that's all fine and dandy but it requires a rewrite.
Boss: nah just look man, it's really simple all I want is blah, blah blah...

I'm too tired for this shit

"Please disable adblock to support us"

*Me pauses adblock feeling sorry*

Fucking video ad starts playing in the middle of the page/article

Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

Developer

Any devs from CIA's Frankfurt department here? I can't remember if I shut my TV off before I left home, can you check?
KTHXBYE

View from new office. Another distraction... :D

Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

!rant
Deployed my first website to production yesterday and the world isn't burning, the error logs have been empty and my (non-tech) colleagues think it is amazing.
I'm somewhat proud of myself.

When you're preparing for a hard disk format:

"I'll go get some more females" sounds very normal when you're in a hardware lab

Hitting that publish button on your first app. And getting the first 5⭐ rating. Bliss 😊😊😊

Business logic in the fricking database.

1000+ line SQL stored procedures.

What the actual fuck?! 👿

Never make the same mistake twice.

There are so many new ones, try a different one each day.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" 

- DoS Attack

Windows 10 really improved battery charge time! I'm impressed!

Story of my life..

Just leaving this here

Finding my car in the parking structure is much easier at 1am.

How do I keep improving as a developer?
Well I think of the fucking misery I would have to face, if I don't.
(i.e going to clubs and socializing)

I'm visiting http://github.com/trending once a week 😀

"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"

"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."

!rant

I made devRant pancakes!
yummy

When people say: "All you do is sit in front of your PC doing stuff. Get a life"
Me: This is my life!

So...Today I found an SQLI (sql injection , google if you're not aware) in one of our products , I start exploring it , I get my trusty Kali on me workstation . sqlmap etc. Tell my manager it's a true positive... I start exploring the db , half the devs at my manager's place start staring at his screen as I proper fuck a QA db server... I hear a qa guy mention triangulation as sqlmap dumps a uid table in his face . I hear my manager's manager saying 'this has been in our app for so long and we found it just now ? Who found it ?' *manager proudly saying me name* 'He's still working this late ?' ...apparently now my trip to england is getting covered for both me and me gf by the company...

They should come up with some term for non-developers, i.e muggles

Not a rant but I just got offered my first developer job after uni not having a degree in CS!! Beyond excited! 😀😀