Am i the only one?

This feels better than good grades.

How do two functions break up with each other ?

- They stop calling each other.

The hardest part of switching to another IDE is learning all the shortcuts :-(

I don't care about money, girls, fancy cars, big houses, fame...

I want stars on my GitHub repo

Hardcore programmer

2010: PHP, CSS, Vanilla JS, and a LAMP Server.

Ah, the simple life.

2016: Node.js, React, Vue, Angular, AngularJS, Polymer, Sass, Less, Gulp, Bower, Grunt.

I can't handle this, I'm shifting domains to Machine Learning.

2017: Numpy, Scipy, TensorFlow, Theano, Keras, Torch, CNNs, RNNs, GANs and LOTS AND LOTS OF MATH!

Okay, okay. Calm down there fella.
JavaScript doesn't seem that complicated now, does it? 🙈

i went to an interview and tried to explain code that i did nit understand. Longest 20 minutes of my life

Oh my God! This is so amazing!

So I have to register in the website to view article in one single page. Otherwise the article is divided into multiple pages and I have click "next" couple of times to read the full article.

HAHAHAHA! Welcome to 2017.

Just had the first pull request on my repo! ❤️

Lmaoo i put this here.

I am in love with Laravel <3

That moment when the client is actually happy with your design. From the beginning.
And requests no changes.

I have been given the displeasure of updating a company's WordPress website which was built and (sort of) maintained by another company which ended up closing down. NOTHING WAS DOCUMENTED. Almost no comments added anywhere. Not even a description of the what a particular file does. File names are basically completely random. There are 3 versions of the same theme this company made and no indication of which one is actually being used. On top of this; they used plugins and modified them, so they cant even be updated without them breaking. As well; after looking around it seems they used jQuery mixed with Angular (or maybe the plugin creators did this?). The website isnt mobile friendly either; one of my tasks was to see what I could do with fixing this. Seems basically impossible based on the complete mess of a project this is.
All this being said, I just graduated from Post Secondary and have almost no experience working with WordPress, There arent even other developers to help assist me on this project.....
Gonna be quite the experience.

It only took a whole minute for my stackoverflow question to be furiously downvoted... What is it with people on this site? Didn't they get enough hugs as kids?

I always hate how I get a great idea for an app/game, and then I open up the play store and a very similar thing is on the first page.

HR - There is a 2 years gap on your CV!
Candidate - I was in jail.

HR - Why?
Candidate:- I killed the guy who told me : "We'll call you back".

HR :- Welcome on board, You have the Job.

Bad handwriting is the most effective encryption

Is it only me or does anyone else think that they are a bad developer? Everytime im on devrant i think that i dont know shit.. :(

When StackOverflow is the only one, who believes in you

Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Holding the power button to shut down your computer feels like you're choking someone to death.

If you don't know SQL, then just mention NoSQL in your CV.